Mary Poppins Returns
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All Critics (50)
| Top Critics (12)
| Fresh (20)
| Rotten (30)
| DVD (9)
The monster looks like a maniacal garden hose in a couple of sequences. Still, it delivers the necessary thrills and chills.
Anaconda, directed by Luis Llosa with all of the subtlety of a snake-oil salesman, is in the great tradition of cinematic cheese, as processed as Kraft Singles slices.
A silly and plodding Jaws rip-off about a 40-foot man-eating snake on the prowl in the Brazilian rain forest.
One never questions the realism of the remarkable animatronic and computer-generated effects, but it's hard to credit a snake that screams.
Anaconda is about a snake that eats everybody. That about says it all.
Anaconda is such a classic combination of feckless dramaturgy and rampant excess that giving way to giggles is the only sane response.
Yet somehow, Anaconda racks up a winning score (and body count) with a mix of imagination and humour.
An above average specimen hungering for tasty morsels.
Just to show, early on, how much danger these folks are in, we get to see the film's titular star squeeze a black panther so tight that one of its eyeballs pops out.
In its natural habitat, Anaconda can be appreciated for its campy pleasures, not the least of which is Jon Voight in a delirious, balls-out performance as creepy Paraguayan snake poacher Paul Serone. [Blu-ray]
...never quite lives up to the promise of its admittedly irresistible set-up...
lives better in the memory
Even if you manage to overlook how idiotic and laughable all that (highly) inaccurate information about anacondas is, it is still hard to ignore the nonsensical plot, the embarrassing dialogue, the really atrocious special effects and the terrible acting from everyone on screen.
Paul Serone: They strike, wrap around you. Hold you tighter than your true love. And you get the privilege, of hearing your bones break before the power of embrace causes your veins to explode.
"When You Can't Breath, You Can't Scream"
Anaconda is another variation on the creature feature film. This one is very much living in the shadows of Jaws, and that was by design. It's trying to use that formula, but with a killer Anaconda. None of this works obviously as we watch a terrible looking Anaconda, a bunch of big name actors that aren't trying, and have to listen to the brainless dialogue and actions of these characters.
A group of filmmakers are on their way to try to find a hidden tribe in the Amazon. On their way, they find a broken down boat with a man on it, who they take aboard. He claims to have seen the tribe they are looking for and promises to guide them to the tribe. Well, actually he's a snake catcher and is trying to find a colossal sized snake. That he does and soon everyone on the boats life is in danger, as a gigantic Anaconda is preying on them.
As far as creature feature films go, this could have actually been a lot worse. There's a little fun to be had in all of the ridiculousness, but so little it doesn't make this worth a watch. I didn't enjoy it, but for hardcore fans of the genre, it may be worth a look.
Anaconda is a mediocre film and echoes creature films of the 1970's such as Jaws, Piranha and Grizzly. Except this time around it's a giant Anaconda wreaking havoc. The film had the potential of being so much better, and it has plenty of flaws. One thing is the special effects, which look cheap and the other is the bad acting, which ruin the film. The characters aren't that well developed so you don't care who gets eaten or not. Despite its mediocrity, the film manages to be fun at times, but it's not great. Don't watch this film expecting great things to come out of it, you'll be disappointed. This film was a theatrical B movie and it shows. The film had potential of being much better, and it could have been quite a memorable monster film, but it's quite forgettable. The story could have been reworked to make it better, but it all feels rushed, like the filmmakers didn't care about the end result. For horror fans that enjoy mediocre B movie style horror films, then check this one out, but for fans who love killer creature films with a little more substance, pass up on this. As a whole, Anaconda is wasted opportunity, one that is a disappointing film. I didn't really care for the films direction, and you end pretty bored halfway through the film, even with all the snake chaos going around. This was an effort by a director who simply didn't know how to create an effectively chilling creature. Some directors have brilliantly pulled it off, but not Luis Llosa, whose 40 foot Anaconda really does look fake plus add to that a cast that can't act, and you have a horror film that is forgettable, and not worth your time.
Saw this film when it first came out and I enjoyed back then I must admit but watching it now it hasn't held up too well. First off the cast is quite an odd bunch and pretty mismatched even for a motley crew of unique adventurers, Lopez and Ice Cube are totally miscast and out of place, Voight looks the part but goes completely overboard with his performance going from good n hammy to a downright laughable cad and loses all his presence. Wilson is also miscast but its odd to see him in basically a role as monster fodder and merely a background character, the only two that fit the film for me are Stoltz and Hyde who are both decent as your typical jungle hunter/explorer types.
The film starts off OK and you do get a feel of impending doom with nice eerie murky surface water shots and some decent character building but once the snake has been fully exposed and the eating really kicks off the cracks really show. The cgi now is pretty bad and doesn't match against the live action a tall, its very obvious and takes a HUGE amount of fun from the film, the sets are clearly sets, the action is really daft and it is so so formulaic and cliched. There are some good model heads for the anaconda and one or two in-genius ideas for cam angles and snake shots but this really looks like lame rubber monster hokum these days, its not made any better by the fact they made the anaconda roar and scream.
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