Army of Darkness - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Army of Darkness Quotes

  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Honey! You got real ugly!


  • Duke Henry: Are all men from the future loud-mouthed braggarts?
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Nope. Just me baby... Just me
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Nope. Just me baby. Just me


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Hold it... nobody said anything about three books. Like, like what am I supposed to do - take one book, or all books, or what?
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Hold it. Nobody said anything about three books. Like, like what am I supposed to do - take one book, or all books, or what?


  • Possessed Witch: I'll swallow your soul!
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Come get some!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up!


  • Sheila/Evil Sheila: You found me beautiful once...
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Honey, you got real ugly...


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): This... is my boomstick!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Shop smart, shop S-Mart
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Shop smart, shop S-Mart!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Yo...she bitch...Lets go
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): [to the Witch] Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Hail to the king, baby.


  • Sheila/Evil Sheila: I may be bad... but I feel gooood.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Gimme some sugar, baby.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Hail to the king baby!!!!
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Hail to the king baby!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Shop smart, shop S-mart


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Alright, you primitive screw-heads, listen up!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): This is my BOOM STICK!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): (as the narrator) Sure, I could have stayed in the past. I could have even been king. But in my own way, I am king.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Name's Ash. Housewares.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): You ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and sh*t, and Jack left town.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Yo, she-b*tch. Let's go.


  • Sheila/Evil Sheila: You shall die!!!
    Sheila/Evil Sheila: You shall die!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): (Bad Ash) Hee hee hee! I'm Bad Ash. And your Good Ash! Hee hee hee!
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): (shoots Bad Ash) I'm not that good.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): This... is my... BOOMSTICK!!
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): This... is my... BOOMSTICK!


  • Cowardly Warrior: I don't want to die!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Groovy.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Hail to the king baby
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Hail to the king baby.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): All right you primitive screwheads, listen up... see this? This... is my BOOM stick!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.


  • Sheila/Evil Sheila: But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby, that's all.


  • Duke Henry: You Sir, are not one of my vassals...who are you?
    Duke Henry: You Sir, are not one of my vassals. Who are you?
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Who wants to know?
    Duke Henry: I am Henry the Red, Duke of Shale, Lord of Northlands and leader of its peoples.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and shit...and Jack left town.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and shit, and Jack left town.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): It's a trick. Get an axe.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Give me some sugar baby.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Groovy.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): It took Linda. - And then it came for me. It got into my hand and it went bad. So I lopped it off at the wrist.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): It took Linda. And then it came for me. It got into my hand and it went bad. So I lopped it off at the wrist.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Hail to the king, baby.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Lady, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store.
    Possessed Witch: Who the hell are you?
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Name's Ash...Housewares.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Name's Ash, Housewares.
    Possessed Witch: I'll swallow your soul.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Come get some.


  • Sheila/Evil Sheila: You found me beautiful once.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Honey, you got real ugly.


  • Deadite Captain: Oh, you miserable bags of bones! Pick yourselves up and sally fo... Sally for-Sally forth.
    Deadite Captain: Oh, you miserable bags of bones! Pick yourselves up and sally fo. Sally for-Sally forth.


  • Deadite Captain: Welcome back to the land of the living!


  • Sheila/Evil Sheila: But what of the things that we've shared? What of all the sweet words that you spoke in private?
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Well, that's just what we call "pillow talk," baby. That's all.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Well, that's just what we call 'pillow talk,' baby. That's all.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): (as a soldier blocks his way, he pushes him aside) Get the f**k out of my face!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Ooh, wait a minute. The words...All right, all right, all right. Say the words. Klaatu...barada...Iu -necktie. Nectar, n-- nickel. Noodle. It's an "N" word. It's definitely an "N" word.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Ooh, wait a minute. The words. All right, all right, all right. Say the words. Klaatu...barada...Iu -necktie. Nectar, n-- nickel. Noodle. It's an 'N' word. It's definitely an 'N' word.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Ooh, wait a minute. The words. All right, all right, all right. Say the words. Klaatu...barada...Iu necktie. Nectar, n - nickel. Noodle. It's an 'N' word. It's definitely an 'N' word.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): I'm bad Ash, and you're good Ash. You're goody little two-shoes. You're goody little two-shoes goody little two-shoes. Little goody two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Okay, little fella, here's a little hot chocolate for ya! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): London Bridge is falling down...Falling down...Falling down... Mini-Evil Ashes: My fair lady - Ha!
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): London Bridge is falling down. Falling down. Falling down. Mini-Evil Ashes, My fair lady. Ha!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and things with...molecular structures.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and things with, molecular structures.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Groovy.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Gimme some sugar, baby.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): What? Were you raised in a barn? Shut the door! Probably was raised in a barn, along with the other primitives.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me...Blow.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me, Blow.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? - This is my boom stick! It's a 12-gauge, double-barreled Remington. S-mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right. This sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-mart...You got that?!!
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my boom stick! It's a 12-gauge, double-barreled Remington. S-mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right. This sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart. Shop S-mart. You got that?!


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Wait a minute. Hold it. W-Wait a minute. You gotta understand, man. I never even saw these a**holes before.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Well, hello, Mr. Fancy Pants. I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now. Jack and sh*t, and Jack left town.


  • Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Shop smart...Shop S-mart.
    Ash (Ashley J. Williams): Shop smart. Shop S-mart.


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