A fruitless franchise launch for a series I doubt we will ever see again.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5 | Aug 19, 2022

This Artemis Fowl is neither criminal nor mastermind. He's just a kid who sort of reacts to things throughout this movie.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/10 | Feb 20, 2022

Artemis Fowls efforts come off as if it came from a movie world of yesteryear. While the concept of a world outside of ours filled with fairies, trolls, and creatures was impressive at the turn of the century, its not enough in 2020.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4 | Feb 18, 2022

Theres no magic in this high-tech fantasy, a blend of futuristic gizmos and ancient mythological creatures in a silly, amateurish package.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/4 | Feb 18, 2022

A dull adaptation that squanders the promise of its cast and bears little resemblance to the novels it's based on.

Full Review | Original Score: 3 | Jun 24, 2021

Artemis Fowl appears to be a film drenched in production issues, phoned-in performances, and a really shoddy script that fails to adapt even the simplest elements from the books.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Feb 1, 2021

Unfortunately, Artemis Fowl joins The Lightning Thief and The Golden Compass in the camp of YA series done dirty by their film adaptations.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/10 | Feb 1, 2021

Artemis Fowl may survive to have more on-screen adventures, perhaps filling the hole for fantasy fans left by the absence of Harry Potter movies, but next time around fewer special effects and more personality would help.

Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/5 | Jan 29, 2021

The fact that this film has a young Black female character whose sole narrative purpose is to bring people sandwiches should tell you everything you need to know about it.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/5 | Jan 27, 2021

It's visually impactful, but its narrative falls apart. [Full Review in Spanish]

Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/5 | Nov 29, 2020

Lots of things happen but nothing unfolds. It's like watching a feature-length trailer for a film that doesn't exist.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/5 | Nov 26, 2020

Contains a scene of Gad unhinging his jaw, eating dirt, and farting clods of earth out his backside. You too may begin shouting "What fresh Hell is this?"

Full Review | Nov 3, 2020

Artemis Fowl feels like a cowardly adaptation to make a more childish version of a book that at least was different. [Full review in Spanish]

Full Review | Original Score: 5/10 | Oct 16, 2020

Disney continues to try desperately to find their fantasy-inspired franchise and this, decisively, isn't it.

Full Review | Original Score: D | Sep 2, 2020

A particularly vulgar Harry Potter rip-off that tries to hide the worst of its theft by mashing it into the framework of Men in Black.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Aug 24, 2020

A disappointing dud that has had much of its rougher edges smoothed off.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Aug 19, 2020

The mischievous glint in [Judi Dench]'s eyes is Artemis Fowl's only nod to irony and self-awareness.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Aug 11, 2020

Artemis Fowl is a mediocre mess of a film that clearly spent a lot of time on visual effects but not enough time in doing justice to the kind of storytelling that author Eoin Colfer has in his Artemis Fowl books.

Full Review | Jul 22, 2020

With equal doses of sci-fi and fantasy," Artemis Fowl" plays like a mashup of "Star Wars" and "Harry Potter."

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Jul 19, 2020

A bland, unexciting family fantasy of the kind we've come to expect from Disney originals. It's completely devoid of charm, or any Disney magic... Disney made a wise decision to dump this on their streamer, where it certainly belongs.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Jul 17, 2020