B.A.P.S. - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

B.A.P.S. Reviews

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½ August 19, 2016
Two females leave Georgia for Hollywood in hopes of becoming stylist's but instead they end up befriending an old millionaire man and he buys them things. This movie is stupid, just like the two females who obviously never heard of prostitution.
½ February 1, 2016
A dead zone.

Zero Stars
½ September 28, 2015
It's cheesy, but it's heartwarming and the music is great.
September 17, 2015
Fuck this movie too.

Halle Berry and Martin Landau did this movie.

Basically a fish out of water / culture collision movie. Much like Soul Plane, let's make fun of white people! They sure are stuffy and uptight!

Big nails. Big Hair. Horrible outfits. Yes, this movie has everything. BAPS ladies and gentleman! Black American PrincesseS.

Basically, the BAPS see a commercial to become Heavy D's sexy video girl and it pays $10,000. Halle Berry has a dream to own a fucking restaurant / salon and those run about $10,000 so this is perfect. The BAPS go and realize that this is a sham, no real audition. Just a guise by Martin Laundau's nephew Isaac. The guise?

Get his uncle, Laundau, to leave HIM his riches.

How? Shit, I don't know and I watched the mother fucker. Even the Flixster description is trying to figure it out. It doesn't know either and it's Flixster.

So basically this really complicated plan happens. Isaac hires these two African American chicas because Laundau once loved an African American maid named Lily. Laundau is pretty fucking ancient, so this is probably back in the 50s when Jim Crow laws were still intact and Laundau looked like he dropped N bombs left and right, so I bet you Lily didn't love his racist fucking ass back. But hell, Laundau is old and decrepit so why not give an old dying racist a final wish. The two BAPS have to pretend to be Lily's grandchildren.

How this is supposed to get his nephew all the riches? I'm not sure. Seemed like Laundau had no other friends other than his butler, Manley, and Isaac. So why would you introduce two women? Doesn't Isaac know that old white guys love giving young big breasted women who wear cheetah pants all of their money? Anna Nicole did marry a corpse a few years before this movie came out. So whatever.

Then come hilariou....well come scenes that happen with BAPS and the butler, MANLEY. He always looks like he smelled a five year old's fart. Classic crotchety old man butler, BUT the BAPS rub off on him. To the point where he starts saying shit like, WEST SIDE!

Isn't that funny? You aren't laughing? Hmmmm..

Also Martin Laundau starts busting a move near the end of the movie. Fucking christ. I'm surprised we didn't see a rapping grandma. Probably a deleted scene.

So finally the ALS or whatever Laundau has (overwhelming guilt of a bigot perhaps? OGofB!) and he's in his death bed. The BAPS still call him Mr. whateverthefuckhisnamewasinthemovie, but they've learned to love him. This is where Laundau also tells the BAPS that he knew it was a ruse the whole time, Lily never had any children. Gasp?

He probably murdered her .BAPS were probably thinking they fucked this guy for no reason. Isaac is just creepily standing around with a shit eating grin.

UNTIL HIS COMEUPPANCE!

When they go to the lawyer's, turns out BAPS get his inheritance (who would have fucking seen that coming?) and then the sound goes out and Orchestral swells hit. BTW, this movie was always hitting the Orchestral swell, trying to get those tear glands going.

So this scene continues, but no sounds. Just orchestra playing. And you see the lawyer moving his mouth, and you see Isaac flipping his shit but no words coming out because you need the ORRRRCHEESSTRAALL SWELLLLLL!!!!

So the BAPS open up their fucking stupid restaurant / saloon thing. And I think that's it. Really.

I still don't have any clue why Isaac thought this plan would work. Maybe I'm missing a key detail or something. Like he would have them sign a contract that says, "any inheritance you get, I get" or something. But whatever it is, it sounds MORE complicated than just letting that old man die. Maybe it was to get Laundau to die faster? But couldn't he just find a way to kill him? Like a sneaky poison? Or maybe spooking the guy when he's walking down the stairs.

Or maybe do what normal people do and trick Laundau into signing a document that would give all his money to Isaac.

Shit, really why did Isaac do any of this?! Oh I'm not gonna go back and watch it.

I give this 1 perm out of 5.
August 14, 2015
Actually very good heartwarming movie
½ March 28, 2015
Didn't the Fat Boys make this movie 10 years prior? Anyways, this is some forgettable crap.
October 12, 2014
FUNNY MOVIE THE WHOLE Family will enjoy
½ January 16, 2014
An unfunny comedy that tries, towards the end, to be dramatic, and fails at that as well.
October 20, 2013
I love this movie!!! It's been my favorite since I was little!
September 19, 2013
Watched this a decade ago and only remember it being a ghetto Cinderella story with quite a bit of laughs.
June 29, 2013
I LOVE THIS MOVIE...
June 17, 2013
I Don't Like Halle Berry.
April 3, 2013
I love this movie and I love MS. HALLY BERRY SHE MY FAVORITE ACTOR I LOVE EVEY MOVIE SHE PLAYED IN AND I WENT TO SHE HER NEW MOVIE THE CALL!!! (LOVE U MS. BERRY)
March 1, 2013
This movie is so bad it's good. Terrible terrible film but I find it horribly entertaining.
February 25, 2013
Looks absolutely funny, Ive never seen Halle berry act in a comedy yet ..
February 19, 2013
I really love this movie best one i know
February 17, 2013
I heard about this very sad little trainwreck from the '90s and had to see it for myself. This is one of those 'Wow!' bad movies and an utter mystery to me as to why it was made. There's maybe one joke that works and Martin Landau is completely wasted. This is also one of those movies where, as soon as people decide that love is more important than money, they get the fortune they wanted before they decided that they didn't need it, but they'll take it anyway. The premise? Laugh at these two incredibly unlikeable women and their stupid fashions that even the most desperate drag queen would avoid like the plague. Look, black people culture, isn't it weird? Laugh at how weird black people are. But stop laughing at them when they learn the Meaning of Life; please buy the forced pathos we've shoehorned in with 15 minutes left. They're better people now because they did the thing they agreed to do for money but decided it wasn't about the money, so let's give them a whackload of money! Wow, this movie is bad.
January 23, 2013
Very funny movie, need to laugh ? Watch this.
January 11, 2013
This was sssooo ghetto.
December 21, 2012
favorite movie n the world!!!
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