Baseline Killer (2009)
Critic Consensus: No consensus yet.
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Critic Reviews for Baseline Killer
I think it is high time to create a brand new edition to the Dread Central ratings system to be used only on the most special occasions like right now.
Audience Reviews for Baseline Killer
Now with all of the serial killers out there,Ulli Lommel picks yet another one I haven't heard of.This killer,who was known as the "Baseline Killer",was someone who struck around 2005 and 2006.According to Wikipedia...I really have no friggin' clue as to who the guy was,since there's some evidence that was screwed up with.So something went on,and I guess the case is closed.The movies accuracy is complete bull crap,since it appears Ulli Lommel's material comes from the rear end of the Hornet.Ouch,that's gotta really hurt.But with Lommel,it's most likely a compliment.There's not a whole lot to build up on,other than that this is one of his more notorious works (I'll assume,since I hadn't heard of this fella until I looked up the director of The BTK Killer),so what did I get my hands on? Hardly anything special,so let's get into Baseline Killer. As I said above,the movie's not that accurate.Judging by what I've read,so oh well.Your really good docudrama-like movie is in another year.After all,who would trust this guy with a movie about someone who apparently killed a lot of people.Apparently people,but that's beside the point.The movie's just messy all around,and the fact it's inaccurate does not help matters.It's biggest flaw is just the main fact that it's messy,so there's not a whole lot to go on.Events aspire,then end just as suddenly as they began.Events lead to brick walls that should lead to a conclusion.Finally,events slow the movie down from what's an okay pace.When events slow your pacing down,you shoulda known better than to add them into the movie.It's like they're padding the movie out,they just aren't necessary.There's adding in crap that can lead to some interesting stuff,then there's...well,whatever isn't necessary for Baseline.Just picture people talking about stuff.Insert your own dialogue to make it better.Bottom line,the plot's just messy.I'd like to have it pass,but the entire thing is like cleaning up your room after you threw a huge temper tantrum.Have fun cleaning that up. Of everything,the characters don't know when to shut up.Either that,or that's the way they where written.It's not the dialogues fault (No,it will be when I get to that segment).It's the fact the writers wrote some of the most pretentious and aggravating characters possible.When they aren't being annoying,they are being quiet.But that only lasts for five seconds before someone opens there mouth and says something stupid.They lack any traits either,so we just assume this person is annoying,that person is stupid,that one guy is brave,that girl is tough,that dude is really awesome at doing someone that will no doubt come in handy by the third act,and this person here goes and does something dumb.Great traits,right? Not really when compared to the awesomeness that is the death sequences.Lommel sorta chickens out,so it's hard to see this annoying bastard who I've named Richard who died because the plot says so.But by the end of the movie,you feel like you just saw the characters while they where still on the paper.Planks of wood,cardboard cut outs,stick figures,you name it.They all apply to the characters and just how one-dimensional.They are just all unlikable,and it's sad since the movie is trying to be based off of the real events (Hard to tell in the end,since the events in real life are as random and confusing as in the movie.The other times...well,flip a coin like I did,because there's no escaping it without being confused).Are the characters like the real life victims? If they are (Which I critically doubt it),then I have to just sigh and just not even utter a single word.Bottom line,unlikable,uninteresting,and over all,just flat out insulting characters.Insanely stupid too! Let's get the one good thing about the movie out of the way.Ironically,after all this time,the writer actually managed to get some intense and suspenseful moments into the movie.I actually got one (Yes,just one) "edge of my seat" moment! And it wasn't to run into the wall to hopefully knock myself out so I can avoid reviewing another Ulli Lommel movie for a good period of time! Wow,and I thought that day would come when I reviewed D.C. Sniper.Anyway,yeah,the movie accomplished actually having A FEW genuinely intense and suspenseful moments.While they are few and far between,they overshadow a few flaws.How do a few of these moments overshadow flaws? Well,these movies are suppose to be intense/suspense movies,not anything else.The fact this might be the only one to genuinely do that is amazing in my book.It's able to get half a thumb up from me.The negative side to this is how friggin' awful Lommel's directing is.I feel the intensity of this movie,and I can't wait to see what happens next! Now why is this happening? Lommel,you're losing me.Oh,back here again? Why we go to that place then? Oh,right,because putting a camera in your hands is like giving a nine year old with sugar rush an M-16 Carbine.What could possibly go wrong? To be fair though,that's the only really negative thing I have to say.This movies suspense passes...barely. If this movie can be remembered for anything,it's the acting.There should be an advertisement to tell you that the movie contains more piss-poor reactions than any other Ulli Lommel movie out there.I saw actors react as if they seen The Beast of Bray Road.They overreact to small things,but under react when there's a person who wants to kill you.Did the boundaries between logic and stupid break while I was sleeping? Because if stupid is smart and smart is stupid,allow me to raise this movies score as high as it can go.And to be a hundred percent honest,I'm not joking.The acting SHOULD have an advertisement! The actors do not try,and they have some of the worst reactions in cinematic history.Saying it's the movies low point is not being honest.It's the lowest of low points.React better,and maybe I'll just say it's abysmal.Until then,take acting lessons and I might be a tiny bit less harsh on your acting skills.To sorta counteract that harsh statement,the delivery of the dialogue could be so much worse than what it already is.There's not much effort put into it.You can see this kind of garbage on Youtube for free (almost....called a phone bill),and get a laugh or two out of it without the painstaking effort of sitting on your ass watching this rubbish.I'm not going to say much else.The acting sucks,and be sure to pay your phone bill after you're done watching funnier stuff on Youtube...it might be a bit bigger than you hoped. Dialogue wise,it's sloppy.Throughout the movie,people spout out sloppy exposition and make the movie needlessly padded.A movie that needs to be padded,and they actually make it needless.Wrap your head around that one,because it's not the last mind screw the movie throws you in this category.The dialogue creates plot holes to that somehow are not ignored.The movie attempts to fill then up with more padding.It's one plot hole,you can move on.Baseline Killer feels like Ulli Lommel's personal "Fuck you" to the critics who've bashed and gave scathing reviews to.The movie comes to a halt to fill a plot hole,then moves on.Only to stop ten minutes later to fill ANOTHER plot hole,then go on again.Wrap your entire body around that like a constrictor snake,and ask yourself if that makes any sense.If it does,then feel free to watch this without any trouble.So much of the movie is just plot hole after plot hole that can be as small as a pea,or as big as the crater in Arizona that was caused by a meteor.Nothing makes any sense when somebody speaks either.For me,it reminds me of any form of Algebra.You can explain it as simple as you can,and I'll stupidly confused.Try again even more simple (Somehow),and I'll still be confused as hell and fall flat on my face.Now onto to the character development junkyard.Here,you can find the millions of generic cliched characters used in other bad movies I've watched in the past or plan on watching.No real reason to criticize this,the summary I made speaks for itself.Not a single piece of dialogue feels original.It might be original in some way,but I never really felt like it was.Instead,the writers opted for the cheap mans way out.The generic character development junkyard.Throw yourself out of the plane,activate your parachute (Or however they work),then land safely in a generic character area of that junkyard and take whatever crappy development you can and run for the hills.The dialogue is awful in other words,and the character development is nonsensical.It's pretty much note-for-note the same garbage from Lommel's other movies. Yet again,Lommel's unbelievably shitty directing is back.Everything is shot incredibly uptight and feels almost personal.What,is the camera the main character's guardian angel? Are we going to get an awkward fight sequence between the camera and the Baseline Killer? That actually might be a bit more interesting,since the movie would be over.Now aside from that,there's nothing to be found that makes this movies directing any better than the first Son of Sam movie.I actually can strike oil easier and quicker than the directing goes from being deplorable to abysmal.Yeah,try it,I dare you.It's not a damn lie either,since it never happens.I'm also once again going to slap a seal of unfocused directing too.The movie never sits still,it focuses on twenty different things and feels the need to add another fifty to that so we get the idea this killer is edgy...? Really,can I find a movie like this with directing that is focused.I doubt it will ever happen since this movie was released only two years ago.It may seem like a big difference,but the biggest difference in Direct-to-DVD land in The Asylum's case isn't much better.I'm not really insulting them either,since Lommel should be working from them.Bottom line,the directing,along with the Acting and Dialogue,make an enormous blow to the movies score. Inventing a new level of ineptitude and shocking stupidity,this "movie" insults the viewer throughout the entire running time.It's not a lie,it's not an exaggeration,it's the truth.The movie only moves at a nice pace when it wants.When it does,it stops to a near dead stop and laughs at you.I've never wanted to slap a DVD more in my life.Maybe if you see it,you can make more sense out of this trash than me,but it's bloody unlikely.It's up to you if you wanna see this movie,because there's no point saying not to.It's one of it's own kind,and it really begs for you to scold it and give it a scathing review like I tried to do.The final score for Baseline Killer is a 1 out of 10.I'll give it credit for whatever intensity and suspense it gave me.Of all of Ulli Lommel's movies,this is the only one I want to actually want to look on the positive side in the end.Mostly because there's only one more movie left to review.
This is my first, and could very well be my last Ulli Lommel film. I think I might have found the only director who is even in the same league to compete against the dreck of Uwe Boll. Fuck this movie.
I watch a lot of movies. All types, all qualities. Without a doubt, Baseline Killer is the worst of the worst. I punished myself by watching the complete movie. I regret that decision. From the clueless beginning to the agonizing end, it only got worse. How any person would have financed or acted in such a disaster is beyond me. If you are thinking about viewing this movie, do yourself a favor and take an overdose of sleeping pills. Your time will be better served.......
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