Batman Returns - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Batman Returns Quotes

  • Volunteer Bimbo: You are the coolest role model a young person could have!
    The Penguin: And you're the hottest young person a role model could have.


  • Catwoman: It's the so-called normal guys who always let you down. Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed.


  • Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Life's a bitch. So am I.


  • The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: Why is there always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?


  • Max Shreck: What did curiosity do to the cat?


  • The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: You've gotta admit, I've played this stinking city, like a harp from hell!


  • The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: I saw her first, got to fly.


  • Max Shreck: Bruce Wayne, what are doing dressed up as Batman?
    Catwoman/Selina Kyle: He is Batman, you idiot!
    Catwoman: He is Batman, you moron!


  • Catwoman/Selina Kyle: I am Catwoman, hear me roar.


  • The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: It's time... These are the names of the first born sons of Gotham City, just like I was. And just like me, a terrible fate awaits them. Tonight, while their parents party, they'll be sleeping in their safe cribs, their soft beds. And we will catch them, carry them into the sewer and toss them into a deep, dark watery grave!
    Fat Clown: Um, Penguin? I mean, killing sleeping babies... isn't that a little...
    The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: [shoots Fat Clown] No, it's a LOT! [kicks him into water]


  • Volunteer Bimbo: Oh, Mr. Cobblepot... You're the best role model a young person could have.
    The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: And you are the best young person a role model could have!


  • The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: It's time... These are the names of the first born sons of Gotham City, just like I was. And just like me, a terrible fate awaits them. Tonight, while their parents party, they'll be sleeping in their safe cribs, their soft beds. And we will catch them, carry them into the sewer and toss them into a deep, dark watery grave!
    Fat Clown: Umm, Penguin? I mean... killing sleeping children. Isn't that a little...
    The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: (shoots Fat Clown and kicks him into the water)
    The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: [shoots Fat Clown and kicks him into the water]


  • Batman / Bruce Wayne: Merry Christmas, Alfred. And good Will toward men...and women
    Batman / Bruce Wayne: Merry Christmas, Alfred. And good Will toward men...and women.


  • Batman / Bruce Wayne: Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Always waiting for some Batman to save you.
    Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Always waiting for some Batman to save you.


  • Batman / Bruce Wayne: Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Honey I'm home! Oh I forgot, I'm not married.
    Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Honey I'm home! Oh I forgot, I'm not married.


  • Batman / Bruce Wayne: Catwoman/Selina Kyle: All good girls go to heaven
    Catwoman/Selina Kyle: All good girls go to heaven.


  • The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: I believe the word you're looking for is "AHHHHHHHhhhh...!!!" (echoes)
    The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: I believe the word you're looking for is, AHHHHHHHhhhh! [echoes]


  • Batman / Bruce Wayne: A mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it...
    Batman / Bruce Wayne: You know, mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
    Catwoman/Selina Kyle: but a kiss could be deadlier if you mean it.
    Catwoman/Selina Kyle: But a kiss can be even deadlier... if you mean it.


  • Max Shreck: (Looking at the umbrella)What's that for, to hypnotize me?
    Max Shreck: [looking at the umbrella] What's that for, to hypnotize me?
    The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: No, just to give you a splitting headache.


  • Max Shreck: Why are you dressed up as Batman?
    Catwoman/Selina Kyle: That's because he is Batman you moron!


  • Alfred Pennyworth: Well come what may. Merry Christmas, Mr. Wayne.
    Batman / Bruce Wayne: Merry Christmas, Alfred. Good will towards men...and women.


  • Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Life's a bitch, now so am I. *smirks*


  • Max Shreck: Imagine... A place for a new mayor in Gotham, and Oswald Cobblepot filling the void...
    The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: (looks at hot chick) I'd like to fill HER void!
    The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: [looks at hot chick] I'd like to fill HER void!


  • The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: Why is their always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?


  • The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: [while being bombarded by food] Why is their always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?


  • Catwoman/Selina Kyle: You poor guys. Always confusing your pistols with your privates.


  • Max Shreck: Selina? Selina Kyle, you're fired! And Bruce Wayne, why are you dressed up like Batman?
    Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Because he is Batman, you moron!


  • Max Shreck: Bottom line: if she tries to blackmail me, I'll drop her out a higher window. Mean time, I got better fish to fry.


  • Max Shreck: You're not only saving a life, you're--
    Batman / Bruce Wayne: Shut up, you're going to jail.


  • Batman / Bruce Wayne: Eat floor, high fiber.


  • The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: You're just jealous I'm a natural freak and you have to wear a mask
    The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!


  • 1st Terrifying Clown: Hey penguin!
    The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: I am not penguin anymore, my name is Oswald Cobblepot.
    1st Terrifying Clown: Oswald, somebody came to see you.


  • Batman / Bruce Wayne: Things change!


  • Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Please. I wouldn't touch you to scratch you.


  • The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: You didn't invite me, so I crashed!


  • Catwoman/Selina Kyle: You poor guys. Always confusing your pistols with your privates.


  • Catwoman/Selina Kyle: I am Catwoman, Hear me roar
    Catwoman/Selina Kyle: I am Catwoman. Hear me roar.


  • Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Honey, I'm home! Oh, I forgot, I'm not married.
    Catwoman/Selina Kyle: Honey, I'm home! Oh, I forgot. I'm not married.


  • Batman / Bruce Wayne: Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
    Batman / Bruce Wayne: You know, mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
    Catwoman/Selina Kyle: But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.


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