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Battleship Reviews

Page 1 of 11
Tom Glasson
Concrete Playground

Just like the board game, assuming the board game cost $200 million and was dumb.

Full Review Source: Concrete Playground | Original Score: 2/5

March 4, 2013
Adam Ross
The Aristocrat

It's not satire, it doesn't play on two levels like Starship Troopers, it's just s---... As a piece of miscalculated, American wankery, it is almost unparalleled.

Full Review Source: The Aristocrat | Original Score: 2/5

September 27, 2012
Kristal Cooper
We Got This Covered

A silly summer popcorn flick that tries too hard to be witty and tongue-in-cheek while still embracing its deadly serious commitment to being the ultimate blow-em-up action extravaganza.

Full Review Source: We Got This Covered | Original Score: 4/10

September 15, 2012
Jeff Beck

It really should have been obvious to everyone involved that it was going to turn out like this.

Full Review Source: | Original Score: 1.5/4

September 14, 2012
John Hanlon
Big Hollywood

Long, loud and pedestrian, this drama only gets exciting in its closing minutes.

Full Review Source: Big Hollywood | Original Score: 2.0/5

June 30, 2013
Justin Craig

It appears a Hollywood boardroom has scraped the bottom of the barrel of originality to come up with a very long, very loud movie with almost nothing new to say.

Full Review Source: | Original Score: 4/10

September 10, 2012
Adam Litovitz
Globe and Mail
Top Critic IconTop Critic

One can be sure that heroic characters get what they want, bond with enemies, and earn respect.

Full Review Source: Globe and Mail | Original Score: 2/4

May 18, 2012

This movie is not horrendous and judging from the trailers we've seen, I guess that's a win?

Full Review Source: Schmoes Know | Original Score: 5/10

May 15, 2012
Tara Brady
Irish Times

Sinking vessel ahoy.

Full Review Source: Irish Times | Original Score: 2/5

April 13, 2012

This is one of the loudest films I have ever sat through in the cinema. My eardrums were pounding from crashing metal and thrashing rockets, all scored with a pounding heavy rock soundtrack.

Full Review Source: UTV | Original Score: 5/10

April 12, 2012
Cameron Williams
The Popcorn Junkie

Peter Berg and Co have milked those little plastic game pieces for all their worth in a film that's ridiculous but sometimes fun

Full Review Source: The Popcorn Junkie | Original Score: 2.5/5

April 13, 2012
Matt Patches

Silliness is cinematic buoyancy for a movie as lazy as Battleship.

Full Review Source: | Original Score: 2/5

May 16, 2012
Grant McAvaney

Think 'Kaboom!' (or any generic explosion descriptor) and you'll accurately epitomise the latest Hollywood end-of-the-world big-screen blockbuster, the two hours of noise known as Battleship.

Full Review Source: MovieFIX | Original Score: 2.5/5

April 11, 2012
Neil Pond
American Profile

A clangy, anchors-aweigh bombast of special-effects whoosh and wallop, ka-booming explosions and dumb action-movie dialogue.

Full Review Source: American Profile | Original Score: 2/5

May 24, 2012
Ann Lewinson
Boston Phoenix

You can't help but wonder what Hasbro will do with Candy Land.

Full Review Source: Boston Phoenix | Original Score: 1.5/4

May 17, 2012
Tom Clift

The latest, loudest and stupidest example of the hyper-jingoistic, military-fetishising, intellect-lowering alien invasion movie.

Full Review Source: Moviedex | Original Score: 2/5

April 12, 2012
Grae Drake

If you have endless patience, this film will deliver. In fact, everyone who sat through it deserves a silver star.

Full Review Source: | Original Score: 2.5/5

May 18, 2012
Mathew DeKinder
Suburban Journals of St. Louis

There is an earnestness to Battleship that makes it impossible to hate even with its clunky dialogue and plot holes so big you could float the entire Pacific Fleet through them.

Full Review Source: Suburban Journals of St. Louis | Original Score: 1.5/5

May 18, 2012
CJ Johnson
ABC Radio (Australia)

Besides being a blatantly obvious Transformers rip-off, Battleship is essentially explosion porn - a practically endless litany of stuff being blown up, with the destruction of Hong Kong thrown in for good measure.

Full Review Source: ABC Radio (Australia) | Original Score: 1.5/5

April 22, 2012
Shaun Munro
What Culture

With the punishingly dull, endlessly monotonous Battleship, Peter Berg has given the term "a poor man's Michael Bay" credibility, and that's a scary thing.

Full Review Source: What Culture | Original Score: 2/5

April 11, 2012
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