Beach Babes 2: Cave Girl Island (1995)
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Audience Reviews for Beach Babes 2: Cave Girl Island
In Beach Babes 2: Cave Girl Island, low-budget cult director extraordinaire David DeCoteau returns (still under the pseudonym Ellen Cabot, which almost tricked me at first until I realized that no respectable woman would direct these films) to give us an abortion of a sequel. In all actuality, DeCoteau looked to have spent all of his time and efforts on the first film, and pretty much took the leftover afterbirth and slapped the Beach Babes 2 title to it. In this one, the 3 dumb sluts crash on a desolate tropical island ran by a madman who can use his computer to fill the island with volcanos, dancing women, and dinosaur stock footage (from Planet of Dinosaurs, a much better film that this P.O.S.). It's not long before the girls encounter hard-bodied caveboys (played by New Jersey mongoloids) that dance and have sex with them. Ok, here are the two ONLY good things about this movie: a somewhat (I use that loosely) comical henchman, and one sex scene involving pornstar Sarah Bellomo (aka Roxanne Blaze) showing off her entire body (bush included), but guess what? It's a god damn reused sex scene from another fucking film! Don't get me wrong; all 3 of these dumb broads show off the titties, but those moments are few and far between. Let me tell you what this movie is MAINLY comprised of: dancing. I counted a total of 12 (count 'em: 12) dance scenes, many of which are re-used scenes throughout the movie. There are 3 very quick sex scenes and 12 god damn dance scenes. Even better, during several of the erotic dance scenes, the girls are wearing tops, then tops are gone, and then tops are back on. Literally (in all seriousness), there is a dance scene almost at every 5 minute interval; sometimes even back to back. How about 6 minute long closing credits with already used dance footage? I really try hard to find the good in all movies, but this movie is just awful. May have been something wonderful to children watching cinemax in the 90's, but in the era of internet porn, this film should just be burned. Piss poor effort on the part of DeCoteau, who should be ashamed to even use a fake name on this piece of crap.
Goddammit. What did I expect, right? I found this at a garage sale and had to pick it up. How can I loose for a dollar right? Well I was kind of hoping for the ridiculous brilliance of Alex Sessa's Amazons or Lucio Fulci's Conquest... of course you're never gonna beat those, I had my hope. When I stuck the tape in the player I got a Full Moon video logo pop up, and that tipped me off for what I was in for. However, I wasn't expecting an such an idiotic film that's actually a soft-core porn. You can read the synopsis for the plot, but what it won't tell you is that this thin story is complemented by extended dance scenes, (and no not song and dance, a la Estaire/Rogers, but bad music and shaking hips) and silly sex scenes that appear to be run through twice, as half way through the characters seem to regain clothes magically and repeat the exact same actions. But there's good points. First of all, if you don't need to watch all the sex and dance scenes you can fast forward through them and be done with the film in about 45mins. Also the performance of the big bad evil guy is fun to watch. The overall production as well is intriguing, just to see how the filmmakers cut corners and used their pithy budget to it's full-ish extent is actually really interesting from a filmmaker's (or wannabe) point of view. Anyway, any person should know what their getting when they pick up this title, and not be hope for anything else, like I did.