The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas Quotes

  • Mona Stangely: Ed Earl, I think the best thing to do is to put this behind us, just as quick as we can. I've made a little money, I've laughed some, I've danced to the music... it's just time to pay the fiddler, that's all.


  • Deputy Fred: My wife read his lips on every "Hell", "Goddamn" and "Shit".


  • Deputy Fred: If you grew up anywhere in Texas, you knew at an early age that they were sellin' somethin' out there - and it wasn't poultry!


  • Mona Stangely: Well! Fine! Then I'm gettin' dressed and goin' home!
    Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd: Well! Fine! I'm goin' into the bathroom and... put this on.


  • Mona Stangely: The best part?


  • Mona Stangely: Now that's what the little silver snaps are for.


  • Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd: I'm gonna knock you so flat, you'll have to roll down your socks to shit!


  • Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd: Boys, I got myself a pretty good bullshit detector, and I can tell when somebody's peein' on my boots and tellin' me it's a rainstorm.


  • Mona Stangely: Well, I always just thought if you see somebody without a smile, give 'em yours!


  • Mona Stangely: Me jumpin' up and down? I'd black both my eyes!


  • Mona Stangely: I couldn't be a ballerina now. I'm too top-heavy. I have a hard enough time balancin' these things now without gettin' on my toes!


  • Mona Stangely: Don't feel sorry for me. I started out poor, and I worked my way up to outcast.


  • Deputy Fred: So, for awhile, as the story goes, the girls begin acceptin' poultry in trade; one bird, one lay. And that's how the place got its name: The Chicken Ranch!


  • Deputy Fred: Everybody liked Ed Earl - especially Ed Earl.


  • Jewel: Honey, we see everything in this profession, but one thing I ain't never seen - man or woman - is a grown-up.


  • Melvin P. Thorpe: The power of television, of public exposure - it scares me. I swear, I could get the mayor's own children to throw rocks at him!


  • Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd: They want me to close her down, run her out of town. How can I ask her to leave when all I want her to do is stay?


  • Mona Stangely: You know, it's always a business doin' pleasure with you, Charlie!


  • Mona Stangely: You know what burns my ass?
    Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd: What?
    Mona Stangely: A flame about three feet high!


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