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Critic Reviews for Bigfoot
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Audience Reviews for Bigfoot
This movie should be honored im reviewing it.It should also be honored for laziest movie ever made.I never seen a movie with such little effort ever.Its paceing is so made time basiclly stops at times,the acting is so bad its second only to Loch Ness Terror in terms of asscting,I mean acting,and its directing is so bad it makes Alone in the Dark look like Zombieland! Oh but before we get to the plot,lets discuss one of the funniest fuck-ups in the movie.Bigfoot doesn't live in Ohio.Im sorry,but I need to adress this seeing as how I study Cryptozooligy as a hobby.Bigfoot lives in the north west United States and British Columbia.Atleast I belive in him and I belive thats where he lives.Where the writers to stupid to google,"Where does Bigfoot live?".Our writers are drunk Rednecks guys,be very very afraid.Do these idiots think Google is actually a trojan horse virus? Did someone on one of the writers facebook page's just randomly shout,"DONT USE GOOGLE! YOU WILL GET A DEADLY TROJAN HORSE VIRUS!",because nobody is that stupid not to use Google.Well,thats atleast the only explanation.Well,that or mabey the writers where 3 years old. Our movie starts with people talking about Bigfooit who lives in Ohio.I cant get over that,really? Ohio? belive me when I say there is NO exuse for the damn writers to place Bigfoot in Ohio! Do these writers even know what Bigfoot is?! Somebody explain to these morons who Bigfoot is! Well,the plot is that Bigfoot is terrorizing a small town and there goes all possiblity of originality.Seriously,oooooh! Monster is terrorizing small town,help us! oh help us! Also,nobody knows who the monster is! Oh noes! And get used to it,because it takes them,like,half the movie to relize,"ITS BIGFOOT!".One other thing about good ol' Bigfoot,he has RED HAIR.Not brown or light black hair.Wrong ape-man crypid writers.Oh well,continuing on.So people are missing and/or becoming Bigfoot Mcdonalds.People go hunting for them,and they to go missing and/or become Bigfoot Wendys.Well,skipping ahead to when we see Bigfoot,what does the all-time most famous ape-man,next to the Orang Pendek and Yeti,look like!? A fucking Were-Wolf.Yes,the extremely famous APE-Man,looks like a Were-Wolf.You know what,this becoming a joke.I forfite with the story.You know what happens,he dies.Super twist there... Lets now discuss the WRONG (and theres a lot) with this ass of a movie.The acting is dreadful.Obvious que-cards are more obvious then Captin Obious! That pretty damn obvious,even for a Direct-To-DVD release.It also has some really bad over acting.Imagine Battlefield Earth mixed with Ballistics:Ecks Vs. Sever with a touch Loch Ness Terror.Its the worst over acting in the world.Literally,people just throw themselves into a hail of bullshit."ILL TAKES THE BULLSHIT! NOOOOOOOOOO!" Just imagine thats,not a real line from the movie,but just imagines someone screaming that in a bad action movie.It sucks,right? The actors also put no thought into there lines.How can you put no thought into your lines!? Thats basic acting 101,PUT EFFORT AND THOUGHT INTO YOUR LINES! Hell in Battlefield Earth,atleast John Travolta put EFFORT into his lines.The Specialist,James Woods did an outstasnding job even thought the movies was abysmal.No I haven't seen the movie,only a review,but every second Woods was on,I watched since he was the awesome! Also,this movies love intrest.I dont ever recall infatuation being deemed love.And I never recall a kiss.I dunno,mabey I missed it when I was playing Borderlands. Now on to the directing.Hmmm,this movie is virtually directorless.You can see the actors eyes saying,"When is this take going to be done? I need a beer".This is yet another movie that also lacks a second take.Since everything is either horribly acted and/or camera angled.The camera sometimes looks so stantionary,I would expect a slight breeze or draft if there inside to tip the camera over.I also want to comment on the lousy lighting.Everything seems stupidly dark or stupidly dim.Hey I can see my reflection! Damn im good looking.Sizzle.Oh well,enough about me being Justin Beiber...I mean Paul McCartney.Lets go on back to the movie...sadly.Is there anything else I didn't comment on? Oh right,the characters.Did you ever wonder what would happen if they used those really cheap cardboard cut-outs as characters...this is the movie.Every character is so bland and unoriginal its not even funny.Nobody is original,interesting,likeable,or even unique.They all suck! And by unique I mean theres nothing different about them.Its like John Travolta playing every damn Psychlo. I also want to comment on Bigfoot.Why is he red,and for that matter just flesh.Ok,now im pissed,are the fucking writers to stupid to use and search engine.Or are they scared they may be deemed idiots for knowing what Bigfoot is.No,they will be commented on for having common sense.First of all,Bigfoot is said to have brown/black hair,as I stated before.Second,Have the writers never heard of the stupidly famous Patterson footage,it clearly shows a female,since it had breasts,(kinda unclear unless you look close enough),and hell you can see it has light brown hair.I enoy being a junior cryptozooligist has a part time hobby when not telling you guys which movies are total crap,so I know damn well that Bigfoot (Or Sasquatch just to be a show-off and a total jerk to you guys) isn't just red meat.And thanks movie,now I want a nice juicey steak.But yeah,Bigfoot is not red meat.Nor is does he make me want to have steak. This movie blows...big time.Characters suck,the directing sucks,the plot is awful,and the even the damn lighting sucks the big one.This movie is just awful in every aspect.It makes no damn sense.It scores,heres a shocker,a 0 out of 10.This movie just all around sucks.And its sad,this and Loch Ness Terror could have been really good movies.The only two good movies starring Cryptids,which are animals not know to science,are two Sy-Fy channel original movies.One called Mothman,which is a so cheesy its awesome.And Mongolian Death Worm,which is like Indiana Jones mixed with The Mummy.Atleast thats how I see it.Both are so cheesy and stupid there awesome.In other words,this movie sucks,those movies are awesome.
If you go into a movie called Bigfoot with a serious mind, then your idiot brain will have you thinking that this movie absolutely awful. Don't get me wrong. Bigfoot is definitely a mess, filmed on an ultra-low budget with laughable acting and effects, however it's not without it's so-bad-it's-good charm. The story concerns dishonorably discharged solder Jack Sullivan (Todd Cox) who, along with his young daughter, heads back to his small home town in Ohio where he rekindles his longtime friendship with best friend and town sheriff Bob Perkins (played by Bob Gray, who also wrote and directed this silly film, which happens to revolve a little too much on himself) and start a new friendship with Park Ranger Sandy Parker (Liza Foster). Immediately, lots of dead carcasses of animals start showing up everywhere, until eventually humans start showing up dead, all with their hearts or livers removed by none other than Bigfoot. The Bigfoot action is plentiful as he runs around amassing a large body count (unfortunately too many of them are offscreen) and creating minimally gory set-pieces. Like I said, this film has it's charming moments and attempts to go all out on such a small budget, however it provides way more unintentional laughs than thrills. Bob Gray and his allowance of his film to focus/glorify way too much on a supporting character is a hoot, but eventually he gets out of the picture and the real protagonist manages to lead us through a surprisingly engaging Rambo-style climax, albeit on an extremely small budget. Comical, but definitely not the best. Not sure what possessed Troma to buy this film and distribute it, especially after witnessing first-hand mistreatment by them towards superior films that deserved distribution. Oh well.
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