Billy Madison - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Billy Madison Quotes

  • O'Doyle (Grade 1): Mortal Kombat on the Sega Genesis. It's the best video game ever.
    Billy Madison: I disagree, it's a very good game but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
    O'Doyle (Grade 1): Donkey Kong sucks!
    Billy Madison: You know something? You suck!


  • Tour Guide: I'll tell you who it was, it was that damned Sasquatch
    Tour Guide: I'll tell you who it was, it was that damned Sasquatch.


  • Billy Madison: WHERE'S MY SNACK PACK?!
    Billy Madison: Where's my snack pack!
    Juanita: I thought I was yo snack pack??
    Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack?


  • Brian Madison: Oh Billy, Billy boy, when are you going to find whatever it is you are looking for?
    Billy Madison: Here's a nice piece of shit!


  • Veronica: Quiet. So let's all open our "Reading Is Fun" books to page sixty nine.
    Billy Madison: Sixty nine!


  • Veronica: Don't you think it's a little pathetic that just because of who your is Father, you get to do school all over again?
    Veronica: Don't you think it's a little pathetic that just because of who your father is, you get to do school all over again?
    Billy Madison: Yes, I do.


  • Tenth Grader: [after Billy pushes Eric and Eric falls over] Oh, gross... did you see that guys balls?
    Tenth Grader: [after Billy pushes Eric and Eric falls over] Oh, gross... did you see that guy's balls?
    Tenth Grader: Yeah... they were weird looking.


  • Brian Madison: Billy, could you step in here a moment? I have big news.
    Billy Madison: ERIC, IS PREGNANT?
    Billy Madison: ERIC IS PREGNANT?


  • O'Doyle the Bus Driver: I'll turn this damn bus around! That'll end your precious field trip pretty damn quick huh! Little shit!


  • Billy Madison: I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.


  • Billy Madison: I swear to God I'm sick. I can't go to school.
    Juanita: If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.
    Billy Madison: Oh my God. I'll go to school.


  • Frank: I think Billy and his girlfriend are playing water polo or something.
    Jack: Hey, maybe they're playing Marco Polo. Marco.
    Frank: Polo! Jeez, that was a great game.


  • Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
    Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
    Frank: '74
    Frank: '74.
    Billy Madison: Meg Ryan
    Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.


  • O'Doyle the Bus Driver: I'll turn this damn bus around!


  • Eric Gordon: I must find a way to destroy Billy Madison...


  • Billy Madison: You get your a** out there, and you find that f***ing dog!


  • Billy Madison: Stop looking at me Swan.......
    Billy Madison: Stop looking at me Swan...


  • Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.
    3rd Grader: Really?
    Billy Madison: YES. You ain't cool unless you pee your pants.
    3rd Grader: Hey, look! Ernie peed his pants too. Alright!
    Tour Guide: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
    Billy Madison: OH that's the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go.


  • Billy Madison: Suntan lotion is good for me, you protect me tehehe!


  • Billy Madison: It could our milk.


  • O'Doyle the Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughan is one fine piece of Ace, I would know from experience dude


  • Billy Madison: No yelling on the bus!!!
    Billy Madison: No yelling on the bus!
    O'Doyle the Bus Driver: No yelling on the bus!


  • Billy Madison: Soooo hot. Want to touch the hiney...


  • O'Doyle the Bus Driver: Veronica Vaughn is one hot piece of ace!


  • Billy Madison: Stop looking at me Swan!


  • Billy Madison: I hate cursive and I hate all of you!


  • Billy Madison: hahahahaha shut up!
    Billy Madison: ha ha ha ha shut up!


  • 3rd Grader: Hey, look everybody, Billy peed his pants!
    Billy Madison: Oh course I peed my pants! Everybody my age pees their pants, it's the coolest!
    Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants! Everybody my age pees their pants, it's the coolest!


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