The Birdcage Quotes

  • Armand Goldman: Its like riding a psycotic horse into a burning barm
    Armand Goldman: Its like riding a psychotic horse into a burning barn.


  • Armand Goldman: I see. You're going to the cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian.


  • Albert Goldman / Starina: Tannins!?


  • Albert Goldman / Starina: I know what you're thinking: dress like this, I'm even more obvious.
    Albert Goldman / Starina: Tannins?!
    Albert Goldman / Starina: Tannins?


  • Armand Goldman: You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!... but you keep it all inside.


  • Agador: I don't wear shoes they make me fall down.


  • Senator Keeley: I don't understand.
    Barbara Keeley: He's a man, the're both men.
    Senator Keeley: Can't be, you can't be jewish.
    Barbara Keeley: No Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. This is a man.
    Senator Keeley: What?
    Louise Keeley: Don't you understand the're gay. They own the drag club downstairs, the're two men.


  • Senator Keeley: I don't understand.


  • Agador: Good evening May I take your purse as usual, or for the first time?


  • Armand Goldman: I think I need a doctor.
    Albert Goldman / Starina: Oh, don't be silly. It isn't even swollen.
    Armand Goldman: Maybe we should go to the emergency room. Y'know I can get it x-rayed.
    Albert Goldman / Starina: Oh, dear, you're overreacting Don't be such a baby. Just sit down on the-AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! We've been robbed.
    Albert Goldman / Starina: Oh, dear, you're overreacting Don't be such a baby. Just sit down on the-AAAAAAHHHHHH! We've been robbed.


  • Armand Goldman: There's only one place in the world I call home and it's because you're there. So take it. What difference does it make if I say you can stay or you say I can stay? It's ours.


  • Senator Keeley: I don't really drink.
    Agador: Yeah, well now's the time to pretend.


  • Armand Goldman: So this is hell...and there's a crucifix here.
    Armand Goldman: So this is Hell... and there's a crucifix here.


  • Armand Goldman: I've never felt such tension. It's like riding a psychotic horse towards a burning stable.


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