Bite Me! - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Bite Me! Reviews

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Super Reviewer
½ December 9, 2012
Trashy Theater Time: D-grade no-budget horror-comedy with nudie-film star Misty Mundae as stripper-turned-commando Crystal. Sound fun? You betcha! A jokey script helps turn a routine mutant-bugs-on-the-loose scenario into a silly romp with a host of goofy characters: Ralph the super-slimy club owner, strippers Trix the nearsighted & unfazably doped-up Amber, Buzz the humane exterminator, a crazy ("Don't call me crazy!!") rogue DEA agent, and Teresa the shady businesswoman with a hammy Noo Yawk accent. Mundae & Julian Wells are perfectly aware of what kinds of dumb movies these are, and their willingness to play along like they're in on the joke makes all the difference between a waste of time and a fun waste of time.
March 27, 2010
Bite Me is yet another Brett Piper (Drainiac, Screaming Dead, etc) outing that incorporates a bevy of stop-motion monster effects and boobies. The story focuses on a crate of bio-engineered marijuana that makes its way into the hands of a sleazy strip-club owner (the late Michael R. Thomas) whose club is on the verge of going under and being acquired by competition Julian Wells (who begins the first half of the movie looking for off-putting with her attire and Jersey accent, but makes up for it in the second half when she unleashes that banging body of hers in a sex-crazed frenzy). Anyways, the strippers work endlessly and are made up of nice girls Misty Mundae and Erika Smith, along with stoner Caitlin Ross, and bartender Sylvianne Chebance, who all become under attack by enlarged, vicious stop-motion spiders that come out of the marijuana crates. With the help of a dim-witted exterminator (Piper movie regular Rob Monkiewicz), the gang makes an attempt to take on the nasty bugs, as well as a renegade, lunatic DEA agent, and eventually, giant bug/DEA agent hybrid bugs in this rather nutty film. This movie clearly doesn't take itself seriously and just wants to have fun, and this is CLEARLY what the viewer should be doing as well. A fun mix of silliness and fun 80's style effects that only Brett Piper can deliver, whom I've always been entertained by. Good flick.
½ February 20, 2009
Pretty embarrassingly bad movie for whoever was involved. I'm sure their parents are proud.
½ October 1, 2008
i want to do a simple review for this one so what do i say? its sooo fucking stupid its awsome i love misty mundae!!!!!!
½ May 18, 2008
A failing strip club is invaded by monstrous spiders whose venom either bring out repressed sides of a victim's personality or turns them into hideous mutants.

"Bite Me" is a goofy film that spoofs the monster movies from the 1950s and the softcore porn films that many of the featured actresses have been featured in. It's not a bad little movie, but it could have been much, much better based on what's here.

The problem is not with the actors. They're all pretty good, with Caitlin Ross (playing a doped-up stripper who manages to save the day while basically sleepwalking through the mayhem of monster spiders and crazy gunmen), Michael R. Thomas (as the brash club owner), and Misty Mundae (as a mild-mannered stripper who becomes Rambette after being bit by one of the spiders) being especially funny in their parts.

The technical aspect of this low-budget production is also very good, with decent camera work and lighting, nifty stop-motion animated monsters, and well-executed green-screen and CGI elements. The film actually looks better in many respects than movies with budgets that were probably ten times what it cost to make "Bite Me!" ("Lost Voyage" springs to mind immediately.)

What drags this movie down from, based on the concepts, the acting, and the technical execution, could have been at least a 7 rating to a low 5 is the script. The script is unfocused, flabby, and at times redundant. While there are some very funny bits in the beginning of the film but they are surrounded by material that sets up a subplot that never really pays off. The same is true with subplot about organized crime elements who are trying to take over the stripclub. An interesting character in the club's bartender is not given the development she should get, and the same is true to the club's owner. If the script had been taken through another couple of drafts, I'm certain writer/director Brett Piper would have noticed these flaws, saved the government conspiracy stuff for another movie and focused more on the stripclub and its denizens. That's where the heart of the movie is, and it's a shame that the time isn't there to develope it properly.

Still, "Bite Me!" is a fun little movie. It's worth seeing it you like cheesy monster films or if you're a fan of Misty Mundae or any of the other actresses appearing in it; they actually get to [i]act/i] in it, and they're good! (They mostly keep their clothes on, though, so if you're looking for the usual lesbian nookie, this is not the film for you.)

Bite Me
Starring: Misty Mundae, Michael R. Thomas, Sylvianne Chebance, Julian Wells, Caitlin Ross, Rob Monkiewicz, Erika Smith, and John Paul Fedele
Director: Brett Piper
½ March 10, 2008
hahaha this movie is horrible
November 1, 2007
Not interested. In general I don't like horror movies.
½ August 31, 2007
Okay all you have to do is read the Synopsis. Not that many stars, but def. a movie worth watching for laughs
½ August 30, 2007
I was generous with giving it half a star...yeah it was as bad as it seemed like it would be. I recommend it though.
July 18, 2007
way to long, and if you see misty mundae's name anywhere on any movie your gonna see her full frontaly nude. i do not recommend this at allllllllllll
July 9, 2007
Ha! Sounds a riot...must see it!
July 5, 2007
A lot of fun! Strippers and big spiders! Come on!
June 16, 2007
So terrible and so so funny.
June 8, 2007
This movie was horribly funny
½ January 22, 2007
If this film was meant to be serious it would be a complete disaster, but the fact that it is a horror spoof makes it funny and almost watchable. The ultra cheap production is a major hinderance though. The special effects are poor. There are some really campy and funny scenes though. (The stripper who can't see without her glasses is a gem!)

Where RT came up with a 2 hour and 20 minute length is a mystery to me, it was only 86 minutes.
December 24, 2006
Marijuana at the strip joint! Need I say more.
½ December 10, 2006
Quite a poor movie to say the least..... Certainly not worth the time to watch it.
½ November 14, 2006
a strip clun filled with pot thats infested with bugs that bite your or crawl up your ass and turn you into some thing your not...say one girl... a hard core straight girl turns into a hard core dyke looving the pussy! can you not love that plot?!
September 11, 2006
Misty Mundae is funny, but you know this movie sucks. The fact the woman knows what she is, and doesn't take herself seriously, is awesome.
March 27, 2006
Fun throwback to the b-movies of the late 80's/early 90's. This is supposedly one of the last movies that Misty Mundae will be making under that name.
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