Blackwoods - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Blackwoods Reviews

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June 25, 2013

"The truth comes back, always does."-Sheriff Harding (Michael Pare)

Sure the charaters were blah, except for Clint Howard (his goofy poytrayal of a sleazy hotel clerk rocked), and sure the unfocused, shaky, slow mo cam was annoying (but made sense, when matched with Matt's fuzzy mind set), but it was a over all smart picture. Good soundtrack as well.

"What are you, enemy of the conspiracy?"-Greg (Clint Howard)
½ October 15, 2012
the worst movie I have ever had the unpleasure to see.
½ October 2, 2012
terrible on every level
August 30, 2012
It's like a long episode of some awful 80's TV miniseries but I would say it's one of Boll's more interesting and original films.
½ April 18, 2011
not too bad. twisted ending.
½ January 23, 2011
unrecognized masterpiece
½ October 14, 2010
A lesson in: Don't let this be you, The Horror Edition.
½ September 25, 2010
This isn't the worst Uwe Boll movie... but it is still pretty terrible. Bad pacing, but the plot is not as stupid as it could be considering again, that it is a Uwe Boll movie. LOL! Poor guy. Who keeps letting this poor smuck make a fool out of himself?!
September 19, 2010
I enjoyed it but couldn't figure out the ending. If anyone has seen this and can tell me what their interpertation is of the ending that would be great!
½ May 19, 2010
Feels like a student film, even for someone as inept as Uwe. It is an attempt at psychological horror, even though it just ends up being utterly confusing and headache inducing. Anyways, this guy (Patrick Muldoon) goes into the backwoods of some hick town to meet the parents of his girlfriend. But everything is not as it seems as we learn about his past. This one was really bad, even by Boll standards. It plays more like an endurance test; it had me fighting off the urge to turn it off and go to bed, but I kept saying, â??No, you need to finish itâ??. Disregarding the creator and his track record, there are huge flaws from a technical standpoint. There are nauseating slow motion scenes that are unwatchable; I, myself, had to look away because it was hurting my eyes. There is a really bad sound mix between dialogue and music, and if there is one thing I hate about watching movies at home, it is when I have to be a volume jockey. It's a very dense film with some good ideas to it, but never has the know-how to flush out said concepts.
½ February 4, 2010
Soundtrack is great, Michael Pare is awesome, Patrick Muldoon was good to look at, BUT this movie was horrible!
February 3, 2009
Uwe Boll should be castrated for what he has done to movies
½ December 8, 2008
It's freaky and messes with ur head
½ November 11, 2008
Horribly acted and directed all the way through until the twist ending which I quite liked. Up until then it was barely a 1.
September 12, 2008
Extraordinary bad. Awfully made and you can't help thinking about what the camera man must've been smoking. Ridiculous movie.
½ May 23, 2008
This movie is absolutely wretched. Uwe Boll likes to defend himself against his hoarde of harsh critics by stating that they never mention his early films (probably because no one has actually seen them), and he includes this in his list of pre-video game based movies, but I can tell you right now that this is way worse than any of the number of the video game adaptations he's made (hey, he's been showing improvement!). This is, really and truly, an awful film that belongs way down playing over and over again at the drive-in theater in the seventh circle of Hell. The movie has a storyline that's remarkably similar to a much much better movie that came out a few years later, which was Brad Anderson's The Machinist starring a Christian Bale, who looks like he just went on the Adolf Hitler starvation diet for the lead role. Both films feature protagonists who are haunted by a traumatic event and undergo serious psychological trauma as the movie goes on with a big twist in the end that ties everything up. The Machinist is a very good movie in my book that tells that sort of story very well. This version of the story however, is hideously incompent. I don't know what Uwe Boll was thinking when he was directing and editing this movie. The camerawork is boring and dull, the movie lacks any form of atmosphere, negating the possibility of building suspense, the editing is atrocious with random "disturbing" flashbacks nonchalantly cut in to what are otherwise scenes involving normal conversation, and the music ranges from unremarkable, to downright inappropriate. I also saw the "twist" coming during the first few scenes of the film, and I'm not one who is usually able to figure that stuff out way ahead of time, and that's saying something. It's also hilarious how the execution of the "twist" is handled. There are things going on with the main character, who is basically running through the woods, and in the next scene Boll just randomly decides to spell the "twist" out for the audience, rather than going through the effort of actually building it up to make it have some sort of payoff. The only thing that I can say I slightly enjoyed in this movie was the presence of Clint Howard, who was the only cast member who could act. Unfortunately this is more depressing to me than anything since he's willing to be in bilge like this. The man must need work.
The only people I would recommend this movie to are budding/aspiring filmmakers. This film should be your bible on what NOT to do when making a movie, since just about every mistake and misstep you could make is present here. Bad movie aficionados and masochists like myself can also apply. Everyone else stay the f**k away.
May 19, 2008
No. Too many B-grade movies will kill a man.
½ February 4, 2008
Decent thriller. A man who killed a little girl years before, goes to his new girlfriends country home only to discover that it was her sister he killed. Now her family is hunting the man in the Blackwoods.
½ November 8, 2007
Michael Parré :) I'd X the star if I could now- it'll be a ½. I'd rate it as a Y-movie, is nowhere near as good as a bad B-movie.
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