Blazing Saddles - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Blazing Saddles Quotes

  • Reverend Johnson: Oh Lord! Do we have the strength to pull off this mighty task in one night...or are we just jerking off?


  • Mongo: Mongo only pawn in the game of life.


  • Bart: Are we awake? .
    Bart: Are we awake?
    Jim the Waco Kid: We're not sure. Are we...black?
    Jim the Waco Kid: We're not sure. Are we... black?
    Bart: Yes we are.
    Jim the Waco Kid: Then we're awake. But we're very puzzled
    Jim the Waco Kid: Then we're awake. But we're very puzzled.


  • Hedley Lamarr: If I could find a sheriff who so offends the citizens of Rock Ridge, that his very appearance would drive them out of town. {Looks out to audience} Well, where would I find such a man? Why am I asking YOU?
    Hedley Lamarr: If I could find a sheriff who so offends the citizens of Rock Ridge, that his very appearance would drive them out of town. [looks out to audience] Well, where would I find such a man? Why am I asking YOU?


  • Bart: So, what's your name?
    Jim the Waco Kid: My name is Jim. But most people call me......Jim.


  • Jim the Waco Kid: *holds up right hand* Look at that.
    Bart: Steady as a rock.
    Jim the Waco Kid: Yeah, but I shoot with this hand. *holds up right hand, shaking*


  • Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
    Bart: Stampeding cattle.
    Buddy Bizarre: That's not much of a crime.
    Bart: Through the Vatican?
    Hedley Lamarr: Kinky! sign here


  • Lili Von Shtupp: Hello handsome, is that a ten gallon hat or are you just enjoying the show.


  • Jim the Waco Kid: That little Bastard shot me right in the ass!


  • Jim the Waco Kid: Don't know how you did it.
    Bart: He was nothing, the bitch was inventing the Candy Gram and they probably won't even give me credit for it.


  • Hedley Lamarr: It's Hedley.


  • Taggart: We'll head them off at the pass!
    Hedley Lamarr: Head them off at the pass? I hate that cliché! [Shoots Taggart in the foot]
    Hedley Lamarr: Head them off at the pass? I hate that cliché! [shoots target in the foot]


  • Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out.


  • Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into waterfall of creative alternative....


  • Lyle: Come on, boys. Where's your spirit? I don't hear no singing. When you was slaves, you sang like birds. Come on, how about a gold ole nigger work song?
    Bart: "I get no kick from champagne." [back up singers vocalize] "Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all So tell me why should it be true That I get a belt out of you." [back up singers throw some rhythm into it] "Some get a kick from cocaine."
    Bart: I get no kick from champagne. [back up singers vocalize] 'Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all So tell me why should it be true That I get a belt out of you. [back up singers throw some rhythm into it] Some get a kick from cocaine.
    Lyle: Hold it, hold it. What the hell is that shit? I meant a song. A real song. Something like, "Swing low Sweet chariot." [the workers don't have a clue] Don't know that one, huh? How about "De Camptown Ladies"?
    Lyle: Hold it, hold it. What the hell is that shit? I meant a song. A real song. Something like, Swing low Sweet chariot. [the workers don't have a clue] Don't know that one, huh? How about "De Camptown Ladies?
    Bart: "De Camptown Ladies"? [other workers echo what Bart said].
    Bart: De Camptown Ladies? [other workers echo what Bart said].
    Lyle: Yeah. You know. "De Camptown ladies sing this song Doo dah doo dah De Camptown race is five miles long Oh the doo dah day" [joined by all his cohorts] "Going to run all night, going to run all day I'd wage my money on a bobtail nag Somebody bet on the bay Going to run all night, going to run all day I wage my money on a bobtail nag -- " [GUNSHOT in the distance]
    Lyle: Yeah. You know. De Camptown ladies sing this song Doo dah doo dah De Camptown race is five miles long Oh the doo dah day [joined by all his cohorts] Going to run all night, going to run all day I'd wage my money on a bobtail nag Somebody bet on the bay Going to run all night, going to run all day I wage my money on a bobtail nag [GUNSHOT in the distance]
    Taggart: [rides up] What in the wide world of sports is a-goin' on here? I hired you people to get a little track laid. Not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!
    Taggart: [rides up] What in the wide world of sports is a-goin' on here? I hired you people to get a little track laid.


  • Bart: Are we awake?
    Jim the Waco Kid: We're not sure. Are we black?
    Bart: Yes, we are.
    Jim the Waco Kid: Then we're awake. But we're very puzzled.


  • Buddy Bizarre: What the hell are you doing here? This is a closed set!
    Taggart: Piss on you! I'm working for Mel Brooks! [draws back to punch him in the face]
    Buddy Bizarre: Not in the face! [Taggart obliges and punches him in the stomach] Thank you!


  • Jim the Waco Kid: [to Bart, after the old woman insults him] What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny?" "Make yourself at home?" "Marry my daughter?" You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the New West. You know...morons.
    Jim the Waco Kid: [to Bart, after the old woman insults him] What did you expect? 'Welcome, sonny?' "Make yourself at home?" 'Marry my daughter?' You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the New West. You know...morons.


  • Gabby Johnson: [sees the new sheriff is black] Hey, the sheriff is a ni -- [BELL RINGS].


  • Lyle: Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and shovels, you'd think it was 120 degrees. Can't be more than 114. [his friends laugh, and a Chinaman falls over from exhaustion] Dock that Chink a day's pay for nappin' on the job.


  • Governor Lepetomane: Thank you, Hedy. Thank you.
    Hedley Lamarr: It's not Hedy, it's Hedley. Hedley Lamarr.
    Governor Lepetomane: The hell are you worried about? This is 1874. You'll be able to sue her!


  • Governor Lepetomane: Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work. [looks at his secretary's breasts] Hello, boys. You have a good night's rest? I missed you.


  • Lili Von Shtupp: Hewe I stand, the goddess of desire. Set men on fire. I have this powah. Morning, noon, and night is dwink and dancing Some quick womancing And then a showah. Stage-door Johnnies constantly suwwound me. They alvays hound me Vith vone wequest. Who can satisfy their lustful habit? I'm not a wabbit! I need some weeeeeeeeeeee -- eeeeeeeeeeeeest. I'm tired, sick and tired of love. I've had my fill of love From below and above. Tired, tired of being admired Tired of love uninspired Let's face it, I'm tired. I've been vith thousands of men Again and again They pwomise the moon They're alvays coming and going and going and coming And alvays too soon. Wight, girls? I'm tired, tired of playing the game. Ain't it a cwying shame? I'm so tired. Goddammit, I'm exhausted.


  • Taggart: Ditto!
    Hedley Lamarr: "Ditto"? "Ditto", you provincial putz?!
    Hedley Lamarr: 'Ditto?' 'Ditto', you provincial putz?!


  • Hedley Lamarr: Be still Taggart. My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.


  • Gum-chewer: Cattle rustling, arson,
    Hedley Lamarr: What have you got in your mouth?!
    Gum-chewer: Nuthin!
    Taggart: [pulls gum out of the man's mouth] Huh! Gum!
    Hedley Lamarr: Chewing gum on line eh?! I hope you brought enough for EVERYBODY??!!!
    Gum-chewer: I I I didn't know there'd be so many, I-
    Hedley Lamarr: [promptly shoots the man]
    Jim the Waco Kid: Boy, is he strict!!


  • Bart: The real bitch was inventing the candy gram. And I probably won't get credit for that neither.
    Bart: Mongo was easy. The bitch was inventing the candy-gram. Probably won't even give me credit for it. [a knock at the window; Bart gets up and sees the same woman who insulted him earlier]


  • Buddy Bizarre: talagram for mango!
    Bart: Candygram for Mongo!


  • Hedley Lamarr: There there, Taggard. Just a man and a horse being hung out there.
    Hedley Lamarr: Just a man and a horse being hung out there.


  • Bart: Where the white women at?
    Bart: Hey, where the white women at?


  • Howard Johnson: Think of it men, hoof and mouth disease a thing of the past!
    Olson Johnson: Never mind that shit, HERE COMES MONGO!!!
    Olson Johnson: Never mind that shit, here comes Mongo!


  • Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out.


Find More Movie Quotes