Ralph Breaks the Internet
Mission: Impossible - Fallout
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All Critics (3)
| Fresh (2)
| Rotten (1)
| DVD (1)
It's a darkly fun yarn - and another proud example of what can be achieved on a limited budget with talent.
Turns out that the only thing keeping mummy films from reaching their full potential as troubling stories of murder and psychosis were the mummies.
Alas, just a convoluted Hammer mess, relying too much on the mesmerising ( alleged ) power of Egyptian paraphernilia and the boobs of the main protagonist ( That is half a star up at least !). Might have been much better, but I have never been a fan of possession from the grave films, bring in the ole' shuffling mummy and I am a happy customer, but this is just a shambles. No wonder Peter Cushing dropped out of this one.
Another mummy film from Hammer but for some reason they forget to actually include a mummy! Instead we have the delectable Leon in various stages of undress giving longing glances at another version of herself without a hand! A bit of gore here with lots of ripped throats but the whole thing is difficult to follow as it isn't clear what each character is trying to achieve. Hammer deserve credit for trying to do something different with their Mummy films but this doesn't really work and you keep hoping for a bandaged baddie to turn up and throw some fun into the proceedings.
Certainly not Hammer's finest hour but neither is it the least. But with its utterly nonsensical plot and lack of any actual creepy bandaged mummies its surely a candidate for one of the most tedious. Add to this the cheap sets, flat cinematics and a distinctly rushed feeling, all shows up its second feature status most obviously (maybe it played second fiddle to a bandaged Christopher Lee??)
But to be fair, it's still occasionally camp fun - even the worst of Hammer will have that going for it! Namely, Valerie Leon (in an unnecessary wig) flouncing about in a series of revealing black or pink nighties, pouting excessively and rolling her heavily mascaraed eyes, killing off the rest of the (wasted) cast - seemingly armed with nothing more than a few Egyptian artifacts and her very ample, and admittedly quite impressive, cleavage.
Her nervous co-stars are a mixed bag of (mostly quality) character actors (supplementing their theatre work no doubt) wasted in thankless rolls: James Burden sweating to death - probably from wearing a worse wig than Leon's; Poor George Coulouris doing what is required - hamming maniacally and hysterically to death; Rosalie Crutchley being typically granite-faced to the end (maybe this was the look she gave to her agent?); And (poor man's Peter Cushing) Andrew Keir being... well, boring, bearded and bed-ridden. Only marvelous James Villiers comes out with any shred of dignity. But that's maybe more to do with his playing it suave and aloof.
Incidentally the ironic ending is, surprisingly, rather good and very nearly made the effort to get there bearable. Someone, with their tongue still wedged firmly in their cheek, is definitely teasing us for the disappointing sparsity of anything as thrilling as actual creepy bandaged mummies!
This Film is from the Hammer Collection, though I am in the early stages of collecting and reviewing Hammer Films, This one was not what I had hoped a Hammer Film would consist of. I love crawling hand movies, I remember growing up seeing a B&W Crawling Hand Movie on Chiller Theater and it creeped me out. This started off with the hand being cut off a Queen, it crawled around a little and that was it, until the last part of the film when we see it in a box. Disappointing. Valerie Leon was beautiful, and strutted her stuff around and I do me ROUND. My DVD had excellent quality for a 1971 film I was surprised. Some neat early vintage British Cars. One must acquire a taste for British Horror its the driest of all foreign horror. But I will give this one 3 stars.
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