Bridesmaids Quotes

  • Megan: because you are the problem, Annie. And you are the solution.
    Megan: Because you are the problem, Annie. And you are the solution.


  • Annie: Help me I'm poor...


  • Megan: This is some classy sh-... [burp]
    Megan: I want to apologize. I'm not even confident on which end that came out of.


  • Annie: You read my diary?
    Brynn: At first I did not know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.


  • Annie's Mistaken Fella: Hey, wanna go on a walk later?
    Annie's Mistaken Fella: Do you wanna go for a walk later?
    Annie: Oh.. no sorry I cant.
    Annie: Oh! I can't.


  • Brynn: Ohh.. that's prickly.


  • Brynn: At first I did not know it was your diary, I thought it was really sad, hand written book.


  • Annie's Mistaken Fella: Boom, whats up fuck buddy.
    Annie's Mistaken Fella: Boom. What's up fuck buddy?


  • Helen's Stepson: I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commericial
    Helen's Stepson: I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.


  • Brynn: Hello fellas, come put your American sausage in my English macmuffin.


  • Megan: Yeah it was shit, broke a lotta' shit!
    Megan: Hit a lot of railings. Broke a lotta shit.


  • Rita: No, Megan, no, no!
    Megan: Look away!
    Rita: Megan, no.
    Megan: Look away! It's comin' outta me like lava! This sink's a goner.


  • Lillian: Why can't you just be happy for me, then go home and talk behind my back like a normal person?!


  • Helen: Helen: Oh look you can get your checks cashed next door.
    Helen: Oh look you can get your checks cashed next door.


  • Lillian's Dad .: Annie: You read my journal? Brynn: At first, I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.


  • Lillian: Why can't you just be happy for me, then go home and talk behind my back like a normal person?!!


  • Nervous Woman on Plane: I had a dream last night, the plane went down, you were in it!
    Annie: There's a woman on the wing, she's churning butter!
    Annie: You do? Oh Hellen knows the owner-eh-ehhh!
    Annie: What's your name-Stove? What are you-an appliance?
    Flight Attendant Steve: Your in the wrong decade ma'am.


  • Rita: They are cute, but when they reach that age...disgusting, they smell, they are sticky, they say things that are horrible. Everything is covered in semen. I broke a blanket in half. Do you know where I'm going with that?


  • Annie: You read my journal?
    Brynn: At first, I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.


  • Brynn: Hello fellas, here I am. Put your American sausage in my English McMuffin.


  • Lillian's Dad .: Hello fellas, here I am. Put your american sausage in my English McMuffin.


  • Annie: This should be open, cause it's civil rights. This is the '90s.


  • Annie's Mom: No it is not me. I am Mrs. Elgesias


  • Megan: He's my brother but he's a FUCKING ASSHOLE
    Megan: He's my brother, I love him, but he's a fucking asshole.


  • Annie: asshole


  • Rhodes: "Hello, Helen. I've heard..wonderful things."
    Rhodes: Hello, Helen. I've heard...wonderful things.


  • Megan: Yeah, I just fell off a cruise ship
    Annie: Oh shit!
    Megan: Yeah 'oh shit'. Yeah 'oh shit'! Took a hard, violent fall, kinda pin-balled down there. Hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit! I'm not saying I survived, but I thrived. I met a dolphin down there, and I swear to God that dolphin looked, not at me, but into my soul. Into my God damn soul Annie! And it said, 'I'm saving you Megan'. Not with its mouth, but...I'm assuming telepathically? We had a connection, that I don't even know..Oh jeez...bla bla! Hey, shut my mouth! You must be Annie's fella? I'm Megan!
    Annie: I'm not with him.
    Megan: Oh, all right. I'm glad he's single, cause I'm gonna climb that like a tree!


  • Annie: I'm reaadddy tooo parrrrtttaaaaayyyy!


  • Megan: "I'm glad he's single. Cause I'm gonna climb that like a tree."
    Megan: Want to go in the restroom and not rest?


  • Megan: Female fight club. We grease up, we pull in. Lillian doesn't know so it's 'Surprise, we're going to fight!' We beat the shit out of her.


  • Annie: [Said in a mocking tone]: "Oh, hi, I'm Helen. Oh, you're from Milwaukee? Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, have you met my friend Lillian, oh I know we've only known eachother for 5 minutes, oh... [Gets pulled over by cop!]"
    Annie: [said in a mocking tone] Oh, hi, I'm Helen. Oh, you're from Milwaukee? Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, have you met my friend Lillian, oh I know we've only known eachother for five minutes, oh... [gets pulled over by cop]


  • Annie: "Are you fucking kidding me? Mother fucking paris? What, are you gonna go to Paris, just go to Paris with Helen and ride around on bikes with fucking bagettes? Oh, how romantic... You know what I'm thinkin'; Lesbians! Who else was thinkin' it. And what's that FUCKING cookie? Did you ACTUALLY think that THIS group of women would eat THAT cookie... you know what, that reminds me, I haven't had a chance to try that FUCKING cookie... [attacks the cookie]..."
    Annie: Are you fucking kidding me? Mother fucking paris? What, are you gonna go to Paris, just go to Paris with Helen and ride around on bikes with fucking bagettes? Oh, how romantic... You know what I'm thinkin'; Lesbians! Who else was thinkin' it. And what's that FUCKING cookie? Did you ACTUALLY think that THIS group of women would eat THAT cookie... you know what, that reminds me, I haven't had a chance to try that FUCKING cookie... [attacks the cookie]...


  • Annie: 3 Seconds...you can't get anywhere in 3 seconds. You're setting me up for a failure already.


  • Annie: I'm telling you, hitting bottom is a good things. Because there's nowhere to go but up.


  • Megan: [Laughs] I put a loaded gun in Dougie's carry-on, the TSA is going to just rip his ass apart.


  • Air Marshall Jon: Everyone calm down i'm an Air marshall!
    Megan: I new it, I got your back Jon!


  • Megan: Hey not Air marshall John, wanna go back in that Restroom and not rest.


  • Rita: Sometimes I just wanna watch the Daily Show without him entering me.


  • Annie: Are you fucking kidding me?


  • Annie: Help me, I'm poor
    Annie: Help me, I'm poor.


  • Becca: "You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!"
    Becca: You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!


  • Nervous Woman on Plane: "I had a dream last night that we went down."
    Nervous Woman on Plane: I had a dream last night that we went down.
    Annie: "Oh God."
    Annie: Oh God.
    Nervous Woman on Plane: "You were in it."
    Nervous Woman on Plane: You were in it.
    Annie: "What?"
    Annie: What?


  • Megan: Nope, physically I don't bloat. It's a gift
    Megan: Nope, physically I don't bloat. It's a gift.


  • Annie: Lillian and I took Spanish.. in school. So I would like to say: "Gracias para vivar en la casa, en la escuelas, en... en la azul... "markada". Tienes con "bibir" en las Fortuashla?" and gracias!"


  • Boot Camp Instructor: you are like "Maid of Dishonour "


  • Megan: "You feel that steam heat? That's from my undercarriage."
    Megan: You feel that steam heat? That's from my undercarriage.


  • Annie's Mom: "It's like a chicken coop, you start at the back and work your way towards the front, before you know it you end up with two eggs in your mouth. I'm sure your dad likes it, he grew up on a farm."
    Annie's Mom: It's like a chicken coop, you start at the back and work your way towards the front, before you know it you end up with two eggs in your mouth. I'm sure your dad likes it, he grew up on a farm.


  • Megan: (Confession at bridal shower) "I already have two (puppies) in the back of my van."
    Megan: [confession at bridal shower] I already have two [puppies] in the back of my van.


  • Rita: "I don't care what dress we choose, I just need to get off this white carpet."
    Rita: I don't care what dress we choose, I just need to get off this white carpet.


  • Megan: "I need the toilet, I need the toilet (sits in sink)! Look away, LOOK AWAY! It's coming out of me like HOT LAVA!"
    Megan: I need the toilet, I need the toilet. [sits in sink] Look away, LOOK AWAY! It's coming out of me like HOT LAVA!


  • Air Marshall Jon: (Megan bites/licks ham off Jon's nipples) Jon: " Little hard, LITTLE HARD!"


  • Rita: Im in the kitchen, slaving away making a beautiful dinner for my family and my youngest boy comes in and says "Mom can we order pizza?" and I said "No, were not ordering pizza tonight" he says "Mom, why dont you go fuck yourself" ...He's 9.


  • Brynn: Hello fellas, You want to put your American Sausage in my English McMuffin
    Brynn: Here I am. Put your American sausage in my English McMuffin.


  • Megan: I'm glad he's single, 'cause I'm gonna climb that like a tree!
    Megan: I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree.


  • Annie: I'm trying to make it round, but I can't because I have elbows
    Annie: I'm trying to make it round, but I can't cause I have elbows.


  • Brynn: It's a mexican drinking worm. It's the native american symbol for wasted.


  • Megan: See this iPod nano? You won't see it again....until I want you to.
    Megan: See this iPod nano? You won't see it again... until I want you to.


  • Megan: That can go up higher...


  • Rita: The other night I'm slaving away making a beautiful dinner for my family, my youngest boy comes in and says he wants to order a pizza. I said no, we're not ordering pizza tonight. He goes, mom why don't you go and fuck yourself! He's nine!


  • Annie: "stove what kind of name is stove"
    Flight Attendant Steve: "my name is steve"
    Annie: "What are you an appliance"


  • Boot Camp Instructor: Hey! If you want to take this class you're going to have to pay for it, like the rest of these bitches!


  • Boot Camp Instructor: Hey! If you want to take this class you're going to have to pay for it, like the rest of these bitches!


  • Boot Camp Instructor: Hey! If you want to take this class you're going to have to pay for it, like the rest of these bitches!


  • Megan: Female fight club. We grease up, we pull in. Lillian doesn't know so it's 'Surprise, we're going to fight!' we beat the shit out of her.


  • Lillian: It's happening. It's happening. It happened.
    Lillian: [has diarrhea from food poisoning and is trying to get to a bathroom] It's happening! It happened.


  • Becca: You're prettier than Cinderella!


  • Annie: This is the first time I've seen you look ugly, and that makes me happy!


  • Helen's Stepdaughter: fuck off helen
    Helen's Stepdaughter: Fuck off, Helen.


  • Annie: Carol get your shit together Carol!
    Annie: Get your shit together, Carol!


  • Annie: Catch you on the flip side, motherf****er!!
    Annie: Catch you on the flip side, motherf****er!


  • Annie: Who's ready to partyyyyyyy!?
    Annie: I'm ready to party!


  • Helen's Stepdaughter: (this is actually from helen's step son) F*** you, helen.


  • Brynn: We'd like to invite you to no longer live with us anymore.


  • Megan: You're your problem, Annie. And you're also your solution.


  • Megan: You're your problem, Annie. And you're also your solution.


  • Megan: LOOK AWAY!!


  • Rita: While I'm slaving away making a beautiful dinner for my family, my youngest comes in and asks "I wanna takeaway", I said no and he said "mum why don't you go and fuck yourself! He's 8


  • Megan: You're own problem. You're own solution.


  • Helen's Stepson: I've seen better tennis on a tampon commercial.
    Helen's Stepson: I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.


  • Rhodes: Are you crazy?? All that stuff… That would be dangerous for a GOOD driver!!


  • Rhodes: Ok. What you’re talking about there—that’s a circus wedding. They’re totally different… You missed it.
    Rhodes: Okay, what you're talking about there, that's a circus wedding. That's a totally different, you missed it.


  • Rhodes: You're like the 'maid of dishonor.'
    Rhodes: You're like the maid of dishonor.


  • Rhodes: It's a funny thing about tail lights... You have to HAVE them!


  • Rhodes: Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to see you night by night drive pass me... with your f*cking tail light still broken!


  • Rhodes: Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to see you night by night drive pass me... with your f*cking tail light still broken!


  • Lillian: Shut-up Helen! Anybody else have anything they want to share today?
    Megan: I took two dogs already, they're at the back of my van.


  • Lillian's Dad .: I am not paying for this shit.


  • Lillian's Dad .: I am not paying for this shit.


  • Annie: Your a cunt!!


  • Megan: physically I don't bloat


  • Megan: Look away!


  • Annie: Oh no! Who's driving my car?!


  • Megan: Its coming out like lava.


  • Lillian's Dad .: The bridesmaids dress scene is the funniest thing i've seen in years.


  • Boot Camp Instructor: This class is only $12. Why don't you just pay it like the rest of these bitches?


  • Annie: I am not her, I am Mrs. Iglesias. Iglesias.


  • Annie: i got to shut my mouth i don't know + i can't say anything to play role by kristen


  • Megan: "you feel that , that's hot steam, hey jon get us a blanket"


  • Megan: You want a bite of this big bear sandwhich?


  • Rita: "Go Fuck Yourself Mom" , That's What My Kid Said To Me. And He's Nine.


  • Annie: Whooo's driving the car?!


  • Lillian's Dad .: You could save me a shit-load of money by getting married right now!


  • Annie: Who's driving that caaaaaar?


  • Brynn: Would you like to put your American sausage into my English muffin?


  • Annie: Stove...what kind of name is that? Are you an appliance?
    Annie: What kind of a name is 'Stove' anyway? What, are you like a kitchen appliance or something?


  • Brynn: It's a Mexican drinking worm. It's a Native American symbol for wasted.


  • Lillian: Just slap it out of the way......


  • Becca: "There's sperm everywhere...I cracked a blanket in half"
    Becca: There's sperm everywhere. I cracked a blanket in half.
    Rita: There's sperm everywhere. I cracked a blanket in half.


  • Annie: Help me! Im poor!


  • Annie: You read my diary?
    Brynn: At first, I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad, handwritten book.


  • Megan: I took two puppies and they are in the trunk of my van


  • Megan: Seriously they threw firecrackers at my head


  • Helen: I don't really think the restaurant gave us food poisoning.
    Annie: It did. It totally did. I crapped my pants.


  • Megan: I don't associate with people who blame the world for their problems. You are your problem. You are also your solution.


  • Annie: There's a colonial woman on the wing.


  • Annie: There's a colonial woman on the wing of the plane! There's something they're not telling us! She's wearing traditional colonial garb...


  • Megan: The dolphin told me I would be ok, not with it's words but telepathically.


  • Annie: You're a little cunt!


  • Lillian's Dad .: test


  • Megan: Bear Sandwich!!


  • Nervous Woman on Plane: I had a dream last night that the plane went down. You were there. ITS HAPPENING.


  • Nervous Woman on Plane: I had a dream last night that the plane went down. You were there. ITS HAPPENING.
    Nervous Woman on Plane: I had a dream last night that we went down. You were in it.


  • Lillian: Why can't you be happy for me and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person
    Lillian: Why can't you be happy for me, and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?


  • Annie: OH LOOK IM TOPLESS!


  • Annie: You're not going to be best friends forever.


  • Annie: Well, have fun having a baby at your prom.


  • Megan: I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree
    Megan: I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree.


  • Herself: [Drunk on plane, pulls open curtains to coach after getting kicked out of first class] It's called civil *rights*. This is the '90s.


  • Megan: "I'll take the first watch."
    Megan: I'll take the first watch.


  • Megan: The TSA are gonna rip his ass apart..
    Megan: The TSA is gonna rip his ass apart.


  • Annie: "...are you an appliance?"
    Annie: Are you an appliance?


  • Becca: "You're prettier than Cinderella, you smells like pine needles, and your hair is like sunshine!"


  • Megan: "look away!"
    Megan: Look away!


  • Megan: I put a loaded gun in his carry on. TSA's gonna tear his ass apart!


  • Annie: You're a little cunt


  • Megan: I would like to apologize, but I'm not sure which end that came out of
    Megan: I would like to apologize. I'm not confident which end that came out of.


  • Megan: I just got some pins in my legs, believe it or not. Pins in my legs. I can still do this. I fell off a cruise ship.
    Annie: Oh. Oh shit.
    Megan: Yeah, oh shit. Took a hard, violent fall, kind of pinballed down, hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit. I'm not gonna say I survived, but I'll say I tried. I met a dolphin down there and I swear to god that dolphin stared at me. Not at me, but into my soul, into my god damn soul and it said I'm savin' you. Not with his mouth, but I'm assuming telepathically.


  • Annie: There's something they're not telling us!


  • Lillian: It's happening!


  • Megan: You know anyone who wants to marry my brother is a profound idiot


  • Megan: "It's coming out like hot lava"
    Megan: It's coming out like hot lava.


  • Megan: "I'm glad he's single, 'cause I'm gonna climb that like a tree. "


  • Megan: "Look away!!!!!!"


  • Annie's Mom: I'm sure she meets him in the evening, beaver first.


  • Megan: look how my flaps open!
    Megan: Look how my flaps open!


  • Rhodes: we did stuff last night... FUN stuff!


  • Annie: you probably bleached you're a**holes at the salon!
    Annie: You probably bleached you're a**holes at the salon!


  • Whitney: You smell like pine needles and your face is like sunshine.


  • Annie: What kind of a name is 'Stove' anyway? What're you a kitchen appliance or something?
    Flight Attendant Steve: No. My name is Steve and I'm a man
    Annie: You are a flight attendant.


  • Lillian: I just shit in the street...
    Lillian: I just shit in the street.


  • Lillian: You can't get anywhere in 3 seconds; you're setting me up to fail


  • Lillian: Anyone else have anything they'd like to share?!
    Megan: I already took two dogs, they're in my car!


  • Megan: You're your problem, Annie. And your solution.
    Megan: You're your problem, and you're also your solution.


  • Annie: There?s a colonial woman on the wing of the plane! THEY'RE NOT TELLING US SOMETHING!


  • Annie: This was spoken by the British roommate: "I didn't know it was your diary. I thought it was just... a very sad, hand-written book."


  • Annie: GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, CAROL!


  • Annie: Get your shit together, Carol!


  • Annie: What kind of woman gives another woman a trip to paris?!? LESBIAN


  • Annie: You are NOT as popular as you think you are!


  • Annie: Yep, she's shitting in the street...


  • Annie: "George.. George Glass"
    Annie: George. George Glass.


  • Annie: He might not even be Asian.


  • Annie: He might not even be Asian.


  • Lillian: its a knee slapper for sure!!


  • Lillian: It's gunna be a kick ass wedding...
    Lillian: It's gunna be a kick ass wedding.


  • Annie: I am in my 30's, I have 40,000 dollars in debt, I live with a weirdo...


  • Annie: I am in my 30's, I have 40,000 dollars in debt, I live with a weirdo...


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