Bridesmaids - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Bridesmaids Quotes

  • Megan: because you are the problem, Annie. And you are the solution.
    Megan: Because you are the problem, Annie. And you are the solution.


  • Annie: Help me I'm poor...


  • Megan: This is some classy sh-... [burp]
    Megan: I want to apologize. I'm not even confident on which end that came out of.


  • Annie: You read my diary?
    Brynn: At first I did not know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.


  • Annie's Mistaken Fella: Hey, wanna go on a walk later?
    Annie's Mistaken Fella: Do you wanna go for a walk later?
    Annie: Oh.. no sorry I cant.
    Annie: Oh! I can't.


  • Brynn: Ohh.. that's prickly.


  • Annie's Mistaken Fella: Boom, whats up fuck buddy.
    Annie's Mistaken Fella: Boom. What's up fuck buddy?


  • Helen's Stepson: I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commericial
    Helen's Stepson: I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.


  • Brynn: Hello fellas, come put your American sausage in my English macmuffin.


  • Megan: Yeah it was shit, broke a lotta' shit!
    Megan: Hit a lot of railings. Broke a lotta shit.


  • Rita: No, Megan, no, no!
    Megan: Look away!
    Rita: Megan, no.
    Megan: Look away! It's comin' outta me like lava! This sink's a goner.


  • Helen: Helen: Oh look you can get your checks cashed next door.
    Helen: Oh look you can get your checks cashed next door.


  • Rita: They are cute, but when they reach that age...disgusting, they smell, they are sticky, they say things that are horrible. Everything is covered in semen. I broke a blanket in half. Do you know where I'm going with that?


  • Annie: You read my journal?
    Brynn: At first, I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.


  • Annie: This should be open, cause it's civil rights. This is the '90s.


  • Annie's Mom: No it is not me. I am Mrs. Elgesias
    Annie: No it is not me. I am Mrs. Elgesias


  • Megan: He's my brother but he's a FUCKING ASSHOLE
    Megan: He's my brother, I love him, but he's a fucking asshole.


  • Rhodes: "Hello, Helen. I've heard..wonderful things."
    Rhodes: Hello, Helen. I've heard...wonderful things.


  • Megan: Yeah, I just fell off a cruise ship
    Annie: Oh shit!
    Megan: Yeah 'oh shit'. Yeah 'oh shit'! Took a hard, violent fall, kinda pin-balled down there. Hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit! I'm not saying I survived, but I thrived. I met a dolphin down there, and I swear to God that dolphin looked, not at me, but into my soul. Into my God damn soul Annie! And it said, 'I'm saving you Megan'. Not with its mouth, but...I'm assuming telepathically? We had a connection, that I don't even know..Oh jeez...bla bla! Hey, shut my mouth! You must be Annie's fella? I'm Megan!
    Annie: I'm not with him.
    Megan: Oh, all right. I'm glad he's single, cause I'm gonna climb that like a tree!


  • Megan: Female fight club. We grease up, we pull in. Lillian doesn't know so it's 'Surprise, we're going to fight!' We beat the shit out of her.


  • Annie: [Said in a mocking tone]: "Oh, hi, I'm Helen. Oh, you're from Milwaukee? Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, have you met my friend Lillian, oh I know we've only known eachother for 5 minutes, oh... [Gets pulled over by cop!]"
    Annie: [said in a mocking tone] Oh, hi, I'm Helen. Oh, you're from Milwaukee? Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, have you met my friend Lillian, oh I know we've only known eachother for five minutes, oh... [gets pulled over by cop]


  • Annie: "Are you fucking kidding me? Mother fucking paris? What, are you gonna go to Paris, just go to Paris with Helen and ride around on bikes with fucking bagettes? Oh, how romantic... You know what I'm thinkin'; Lesbians! Who else was thinkin' it. And what's that FUCKING cookie? Did you ACTUALLY think that THIS group of women would eat THAT cookie... you know what, that reminds me, I haven't had a chance to try that FUCKING cookie... [attacks the cookie]..."
    Annie: Are you fucking kidding me? Mother fucking paris? What, are you gonna go to Paris, just go to Paris with Helen and ride around on bikes with fucking bagettes? Oh, how romantic... You know what I'm thinkin'; Lesbians! Who else was thinkin' it. And what's that FUCKING cookie? Did you ACTUALLY think that THIS group of women would eat THAT cookie... you know what, that reminds me, I haven't had a chance to try that FUCKING cookie... [attacks the cookie]...


  • Annie: 3 Seconds...you can't get anywhere in 3 seconds. You're setting me up for a failure already.


  • Annie: I'm telling you, hitting bottom is a good things. Because there's nowhere to go but up.


  • Megan: [Laughs] I put a loaded gun in Dougie's carry-on, the TSA is going to just rip his ass apart.


  • Air Marshall Jon: Everyone calm down i'm an Air marshall!
    Megan: I new it, I got your back Jon!


  • Megan: Hey not Air marshall John, wanna go back in that Restroom and not rest.


  • Rita: Sometimes I just wanna watch the Daily Show without him entering me.


  • Annie: Are you fucking kidding me?


  • Annie: Help me, I'm poor
    Annie: Help me, I'm poor.


  • Becca: "You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!"
    Becca: You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!


  • Nervous Woman on Plane: "I had a dream last night that we went down."
    Nervous Woman on Plane: I had a dream last night that we went down.
    Annie: "Oh God."
    Annie: Oh God.
    Nervous Woman on Plane: "You were in it."
    Nervous Woman on Plane: You were in it.
    Annie: "What?"
    Annie: What?


  • Megan: Nope, physically I don't bloat. It's a gift
    Megan: Nope, physically I don't bloat. It's a gift.


  • Megan: "You feel that steam heat? That's from my undercarriage."
    Megan: You feel that steam heat? That's from my undercarriage.


  • Annie's Mom: "It's like a chicken coop, you start at the back and work your way towards the front, before you know it you end up with two eggs in your mouth. I'm sure your dad likes it, he grew up on a farm."
    Annie's Mom: It's like a chicken coop, you start at the back and work your way towards the front, before you know it you end up with two eggs in your mouth. I'm sure your dad likes it, he grew up on a farm.


  • Megan: (Confession at bridal shower) "I already have two (puppies) in the back of my van."
    Megan: [confession at bridal shower] I already have two [puppies] in the back of my van.


  • Rita: "I don't care what dress we choose, I just need to get off this white carpet."
    Rita: I don't care what dress we choose, I just need to get off this white carpet.


  • Megan: "I need the toilet, I need the toilet (sits in sink)! Look away, LOOK AWAY! It's coming out of me like HOT LAVA!"
    Megan: I need the toilet, I need the toilet. [sits in sink] Look away, LOOK AWAY! It's coming out of me like HOT LAVA!


  • Brynn: Hello fellas, You want to put your American Sausage in my English McMuffin
    Brynn: Here I am. Put your American sausage in my English McMuffin.


  • Megan: I'm glad he's single, 'cause I'm gonna climb that like a tree!
    Megan: I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree.


  • Annie: I'm trying to make it round, but I can't because I have elbows
    Annie: I'm trying to make it round, but I can't cause I have elbows.


  • Brynn: It's a mexican drinking worm. It's the native american symbol for wasted.


  • Megan: See this iPod nano? You won't see it again....until I want you to.
    Megan: See this iPod nano? You won't see it again... until I want you to.


  • Megan: That can go up higher...


  • Rita: The other night I'm slaving away making a beautiful dinner for my family, my youngest boy comes in and says he wants to order a pizza. I said no, we're not ordering pizza tonight. He goes, mom why don't you go and fuck yourself! He's nine!


  • Boot Camp Instructor: Hey! If you want to take this class you're going to have to pay for it, like the rest of these bitches!


  • Megan: Female fight club. We grease up, we pull in. Lillian doesn't know so it's 'Surprise, we're going to fight!' we beat the shit out of her.


  • Lillian: It's happening. It's happening. It happened.
    Lillian: [has diarrhea from food poisoning and is trying to get to a bathroom] It's happening! It happened.


  • Becca: You're prettier than Cinderella!


  • Annie: This is the first time I've seen you look ugly, and that makes me happy!


  • Helen's Stepdaughter: fuck off helen
    Helen's Stepdaughter: Fuck off, Helen.


  • Annie: Carol get your shit together Carol!
    Annie: Get your shit together, Carol!


  • Annie: Catch you on the flip side, motherf****er!!
    Annie: Catch you on the flip side, motherf****er!


  • Annie: Who's ready to partyyyyyyy!?
    Annie: I'm ready to party!


  • Brynn: We'd like to invite you to no longer live with us anymore.


  • Helen's Stepson: I've seen better tennis on a tampon commercial.
    Helen's Stepson: I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.


  • Rhodes: Ok. What you’re talking about there—that’s a circus wedding. They’re totally different… You missed it.
    Rhodes: Okay, what you're talking about there, that's a circus wedding. That's a totally different, you missed it.


  • Rhodes: You're like the 'maid of dishonor.'
    Rhodes: You're like the maid of dishonor.


  • Annie: Stove...what kind of name is that? Are you an appliance?
    Annie: What kind of a name is 'Stove' anyway? What, are you like a kitchen appliance or something?


  • Becca: "There's sperm everywhere...I cracked a blanket in half"
    Becca: There's sperm everywhere. I cracked a blanket in half.
    Rita: There's sperm everywhere. I cracked a blanket in half.


  • Annie: Help me! Im poor!


  • Annie: You read my diary?
    Brynn: At first, I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad, handwritten book.


  • Megan: I don't associate with people who blame the world for their problems. You are your problem. You are also your solution.


  • Annie: There's a colonial woman on the wing.


  • Annie: You're a little cunt!


  • Megan: Bear Sandwich!!


  • Nervous Woman on Plane: I had a dream last night that the plane went down. You were there. ITS HAPPENING.
    Nervous Woman on Plane: I had a dream last night that we went down. You were in it.


  • Lillian: Why can't you be happy for me and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person
    Lillian: Why can't you be happy for me, and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?


  • Megan: I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree
    Megan: I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree.


  • Megan: "I'll take the first watch."
    Megan: I'll take the first watch.


  • Megan: The TSA are gonna rip his ass apart..
    Megan: The TSA is gonna rip his ass apart.


  • Annie: "...are you an appliance?"
    Annie: Are you an appliance?


  • Megan: "look away!"
    Megan: Look away!


  • Megan: I would like to apologize, but I'm not sure which end that came out of
    Megan: I would like to apologize. I'm not confident which end that came out of.


  • Lillian: It's happening!


  • Megan: You know anyone who wants to marry my brother is a profound idiot


  • Megan: "It's coming out like hot lava"
    Megan: It's coming out like hot lava.


  • Megan: "I'm glad he's single, 'cause I'm gonna climb that like a tree. "


  • Megan: "Look away!!!!!!"


  • Annie's Mom: I'm sure she meets him in the evening, beaver first.


  • Megan: look how my flaps open!
    Megan: Look how my flaps open!


  • Rhodes: we did stuff last night... FUN stuff!


  • Annie: you probably bleached you're a**holes at the salon!
    Annie: You probably bleached you're a**holes at the salon!


  • Whitney: You smell like pine needles and your face is like sunshine.


  • Annie: What kind of a name is 'Stove' anyway? What're you a kitchen appliance or something?
    Flight Attendant Steve: No. My name is Steve and I'm a man
    Annie: You are a flight attendant.


  • Lillian: I just shit in the street...
    Lillian: I just shit in the street.


  • Megan: You're your problem, Annie. And your solution.
    Megan: You're your problem, and you're also your solution.


  • Annie: "George.. George Glass"
    Annie: George. George Glass.


  • Annie: He might not even be Asian.


  • Annie: He might not even be Asian.


  • Lillian: It's gunna be a kick ass wedding...
    Lillian: It's gunna be a kick ass wedding.


  • Annie: I am in my 30's, I have 40,000 dollars in debt, I live with a weirdo...


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