Bruce Almighty - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Bruce Almighty Quotes

The top Bruce Almighty quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

  • Bruce Nolan: Is the bed light of my life! Erouting beneath me! Erouuuting! Erouutting! Erouuuting!.. I'm Bruce Nolan. Back to you, fuckers!
    ‐ Submitted by Connor N (2 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: Anyway, I'm here with Katharine Hepburn's mum. Now tell me, why did you throw the "Heart Of The Ocean" jewel over the railing of the Titanic? Did you feel bad at all letting Leo DiCaprio drown while you were safe floating on the big door? Would you have taken turns or were you just to afraid to freeze your big fat ASS OFF?
    ‐ Submitted by Matthew D (3 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: My blood type is IB positive. IB positive that they ain't touchin' me with no needle!
    ‐ Submitted by Samantha A (3 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: Smite me, O mighty smighter!
    ‐ Submitted by Samantha A (3 years ago)

  • Grace: Hey, I just woke up this morning and I felt like my boobs were bigger. Do they look bigger to you?
    Bruce Nolan: No. Bigger? Um....
    Grace: Oh come one! [jiggles boobs] Look at them! They are definitely bigger! They feel so huge to me.
    Bruce Nolan: Listen I have to go but this has been the breast break, I mean the breast break, thank you.
    Grace: Where are you going?
    Bruce Nolan: To get my job back!
    ‐ Submitted by Domenica D (3 years ago)

  • Evan Baxter: The prime minister of Sweden visited Washington today and my tiny, little nipples went to France.
    ‐ Submitted by Jonathan M (3 years ago)

  • Grace: You know, I have a very rare blood type. AB Positive.
    Bruce Nolan: Sounds delicious... [bares teeth]
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • God: You can't kneel in the middle of the highway and live to tell the tale, son.
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: Woah. A woman does pray a lot.
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Grace: Have you completely lost your mind?
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: You might want to stop touching me...
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: I'm dead?!?
    God: Nah, I'm just messin' with ya.
    Bruce Nolan: You think that's funny?
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Evan Baxter: I'm sorry, we seem to have been having some technical difficulties...
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: I am a sane, reasonable human being. [gets out a gun]
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Hood: I'll apologise when a monkey comes out of my butt!
    Bruce Nolan: Well, what a coincidence, 'cause that's today!
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: Okay, you win. I'm done. Please, I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna be God! I want you to decide what's right for me! I surrender to your will!
    ‐ Submitted by Fajrin H (3 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: It's gooood.
    ‐ Submitted by Troy N (4 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: Who are you?
    God: I'm the one. The Divine Being. Alpha and Omega.
    Bruce Nolan: Oh, I see where this is going.
    God: Bruce... I'm God.
    Bruce Nolan: Bingo! Yahtzee! Is that your final answer? Our survey says... God! Bing bing bing bing bing! Well, it was nice to meet you, God. Thank you for the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the Apocalypse. Oh, and by the way, you SUCK!
    ‐ Submitted by Adam K (4 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: Okay. How many hands are behind my back?
    God: Seven.
    Bruce Nolan: Ah HA! AHH!
    ‐ Submitted by Domenica D (4 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: I'm Bruce Nolan for Eyewitness News. Back to you, FUCKERS!
    ‐ Submitted by Dave M (4 years ago)

  • Bruce Nolan: And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
    ‐ Submitted by Dimitrakis Z (4 years ago)

  • Grace: I woke up this morning and I swear my boobs felt bigger. Do they look bigger to you?
    ‐ Submitted by Jacob D (4 years ago)