Carnage - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Carnage Quotes

  • Nancy Cowan: Look at him all hunched over like he was left on the side of the road.


  • Alan Cowan: Keep on stroking your own ego. It's beautiful.


  • Michael Longstreet: Penelope, what happened to your sense of humor?
    Penelope Longstreet: I don't have a sense of humor, and I don't want one!


  • Nancy Cowan: How can you let her call our son a criminal? We come over here to work things out with them and they, they insult us, they browbeat us, they lecture us about being good citizens of the planet! I am glad our son kicked the shit out of your son and I wipe my ass with your human rights!


  • Nancy Cowan: I've got a John Wayne idea of manhood, too. What is it he had? A Colt .45. Something that empties a room. Any man that doesn't have those loner vibes just doesn't come off as having any substance.


  • Alan Cowan: Penelope, I believe in the god of carnage. The god whose rule has been unchallenged since time immemorial.


  • Alan Cowan: I saw your friend Jane Fonda on TV the other day. It made me want to go out and buy a Ku Klux Klan poster.


  • Alan Cowan: Morally, you're supposed to overcome your impulses, but there are times you don't want to overcome them.


  • Penelope Longstreet: If we're only superficially fair-minded, why be fair--minded at all?


  • Michael Longstreet: You certainly perked up since you tossed your cookies!


  • Alan Cowan: Nancy, it's absurd to drink in your condition.
    Mother: What condition?


  • Alan Cowan: Penelope, I believe in the god of carnage. The god whose rule's been unchallenged since time immemorial.


  • Michael Longstreet: What happened to your sense of humor?
    Penelope Longstreet: I don't have a sense of humor and I don't want one!


  • Penelope Longstreet: I don't get drunk.


  • Nancy Cowan: WHY ARE WE STILL IN THIS HOUSE?!


  • Nancy Cowan: I am glad our son kicked the s**t out of your son and I wipe my ass with your 'human rights'!!
    Nancy Cowan: I am glad our son kicked the s**t out of your son and I wipe my ass with your 'human rights'!


  • Nancy Cowan: Do you think it was the cobbler?
    Alan Cowan: Of course it was. A little warm Coke and BANG!


  • Alan Cowan: I saw your friend Jane Fonda on TV the other day. Made me want to run out and buy a poster from the Ku Klux Klan.


  • Michael Longstreet: We're born alone and we die alone....who wants a scotch?
    Michael Longstreet: We're born alone and we die alone.... who wants a scotch?


  • Penelope Longstreet: "I DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR AND I DON'T WANT ONE!"
    Penelope Longstreet: I DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR AND I DON'T WANT ONE!


  • Michael Longstreet: Children suck the life out of you and leave us old and empty. It's the law of nature.


  • Penelope Longstreet: Their son is a threat to homeland security.


  • Alan Cowan: I mean who wants to say 'Hail Mary' when having sex.


  • Alan Cowan: Unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable!


  • Nancy Cowan: I'm glad that our son, kick the shit out of your son and wipe my ass with your human rights.


  • Penelope Longstreet: Your son disfigured our son!


  • Nancy Cowan: Did you know Ethan had a gang?
    Penelope Longstreet: Did you know Ethan had a gang?
    Michael Longstreet: No, but I'm thrilled to hear it!


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