Chemical Wedding (Crowley - Back from Hell) (2008)
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Chemical Wedding is a mediocre horror film that had the potential of being so much more than what it turned out to be. The script was written by Iron Maiden lead vocalist Bruce Dickinson and though he had some interesting ideas that were displayed in the film, there weren't fully fleshed out, and therefore the film suffered from lacking anything truly entertaining in the long run. Fortunately Bruce is a great singer and he fronts a great band that makes some of the best heavy metal music. With Chemical Wedding, this is a film that simply relies too much on bland performances, and has a script that just doesn't use its ideas to the fullest. What follows is a movie that simply isn't entertaining and it ends up being boring. I really wanted to enjoy the film because I am a diehard Iron Maiden fan, and Bruce Dickinson is one of my favorite singers, unfortunately he lacks the chops to write a really good script and therefore the film just ends up being a waste of time. Chemical Wedding is not an awful film, it's just a film that never attains its potential, ands the story is interesting, but it never goes in depth, and you feel there could have been so much more out of the film. If you're expecting a good horror film, you'll sadly be disappointed. Chemical Wedding is one of those films that is underdeveloped and relies on a poorly thought script that ruins its ideas by not having a fully thought out script. Add to that a cast that are ridiculous in their parts and you have a film that just suffers from the first frame onwards. At least Bruce Dickinson's cameo is sure to delight Iron Maiden fans, but for the rest, this will be a tedious film to sit through.
Thanks to virtual reality and quantum physics, the spirit of Aleister Crowley is reborn inside a Cambridge professor and goes on a sex-magic rampage in furtherance of some poorly defined evil plot. Confusing as hell (I think some script pages may have been inserted out of order and no one noticed), this apparently sincere attempt at occult horror has some unintended laughs (listen for the dramatic "da-da-DUM!" musical cue as Crowley's "gift" to the faculty is discovered). This was written by Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden and bears all the hallmarks of a poorly conceived vanity project.
This is SO terrible that it is invaluable to film students and admirers of the cinema of mediocre melodramatic over-reaching. Not to be missed if you appreciate how a film shouldn't be. This movie is like being raped and enjoying it, so fine the line it treads between aspiring greatness that laughably comes within reach and utter failure in film language of the "this must be intentional" sort. I may eventually add more ways of describing how this film tries to be a good work and the ensuing hilarity when it fails.
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