Christine Quotes

  • Dennis Guilder: That's funny, 'cause I heard that it was totaled.
    Arnie Cunningham: Well, after I swept up the broken glass, it wasn't too bad.


  • Arnie Cunningham: Don't touch me, s******! This is what you wanted! Get away from her!


  • Leigh Cabot: God, I hate rock and roll.


  • Buddy: Let's give this a**hole some of his own medicine.


  • Arnie Cunningham: Oh man, there is nothing finer than being behind the wheel of your own car! Except "maybe" for pussy!
    Arnie Cunningham: Oh man, there is nothing finer than being behind the wheel of your own car! Except 'maybe' for pussy!


  • Buddy: (to Arnie) - I'll fix you...you're gonna wish you were never fu**ing born!
    Buddy: (to Arnie) I'll fix you, you're gonna wish you were never fu**ing born!


  • Arnie Cunningham: (about Christine) - Whoa, whoa. You better watch what you say about my car. She's real sensitive.
    Arnie Cunningham: (about Christine) Whoa, whoa. You better watch what you say about my car. She's real sensitive.


  • Dennis Guilder: A real hero could have saved Arnie.


  • Arnie Cunningham: (after a driver swerves his car out of the way, as Arnie drove toward him; head on) - Chiiiiiiicken SH*T!
    Arnie Cunningham: (after a driver swerves his car out of the way, as Arnie drove toward him; head on) Chicken sh*t!


  • Arnie Cunningham: Let me tell you a little something about love Dennis. It has a voracious appetite. It eats everything-- friendship, family. It kills me how much it eats. But I'll tell you something else. You feed it right, and it can be a beautiful thing, and that's what we have. You know when someone believes in you man, you can do any FU**ING THING in the ENTIRE universe...and when you believe RIGHT BACK at that someone...THEN WATCH OUT WORLD, 'cause nobody could stop you then, NOBODY! EVER!
    Arnie Cunningham: Let me tell you a little something about love Dennis. It has a voracious appetite. It eats everything, friendship, family. It kills me how much it eats. But I'll tell you something else. You feed it right, and it can be a beautiful thing, and that's what we have. You know when someone believes in you man, you can do any fu**ing thing in the entire universe, and when you believe right back at that someone. THEN WATCH OUT WORLD, 'cause nobody could stop you then, NOBODY! EVER!
    Dennis Guilder: And you feel this way about Leigh?
    Arnie Cunningham: (laughs) - What? F**k, no! I'm talking about Christine, man. No shitter ever came between me and Christine.
    Arnie Cunningham: (laughs) What? f**k, no! I'm talking about Christine, man. No shitter ever came between me and Christine.


  • Dennis Guilder: I'm scared for you, for what's happened to you. It's this fu**ing car.
    Arnie Cunningham: I know you're jealous. But we'll always be friends as long as you stick with me. And you know what happens to shitters who don't.
    Dennis Guilder: No. What does happen?
    Arnie Cunningham: Well let's not kid each other Dennis.
    Dennis Guilder: Who are the shitters?
    Arnie Cunningham: ...All of 'em.
    Arnie Cunningham: All of 'em.


  • Arnie Cunningham: (driving in the car with Dennis, drinking a beer) - A toast. Death...to the shitters of the world in 1979!
    Arnie Cunningham: (driving in the car with Dennis, drinking a beer) A toast to Death. To the shitters of the world in 1979!


  • Will Darnell: (sees Christine drive into the garage, all burned up) - If I'm gonna have to come in and get ya...I'm gonna get ya.
    Will Darnell: (sees Christine drive into the garage, all burned up) If I'm gonna have to come in and get ya, I'm gonna get ya.


  • Buddy: (Christine smashes into Buddy's car, destroying it) - Look at my car! COME ON, PRICK! WE'RE NOT FINISHED YET.
    Buddy: (Christine smashes into Buddy's car, destroying it) Look at my car! Come on, prick! We're not finished yet!


  • Buddy: (talking about Christine) - Some shi*head's following me! I JUST HOPE HE COMES IN HERE!
    Buddy: (talking about Christine) Some shi*head's following me! I just hope he comes in here!


  • Rudolph Junkins: I understand, uh, one of the perpetrators, uh, defecated on the dashboard. Now, I would of thought you'd be madder than hell at that. And I thought you would of reported that.
    Arnie Cunningham: Sh*t wipes off.


  • Arnie Cunningham: (on the phone with Leigh) - I need to see you. I care about you. Look, I love you Leigh. I think we deserve one more try, don't you? Would you give me a fu**ing yes or no! Please don't do this to me. Just be straight with me. You've had it, right? WELL, F**K YOU, BITCH! (Hangs up on her)
    Arnie Cunningham: (on the phone with Leigh) I need to see you. I care about you. Look, I love you Leigh. I think we deserve one more try, don't you? Would you give me a fu**ing yes or no! Please don't do this to me. Just be straight with me. You've had it, right? Well f**k you, bitch! (Hangs up on her)


  • Rudolph Junkins: (talking about Moochie Wells) - The kid's dead Arnie, they had to scrape his legs up with a shovel.
    Rudolph Junkins: (talking about Moochie Wells) The kid's dead Arnie, they had to scrape his legs up with a shovel.
    Arnie Cunningham: Well, isn't that what you're supposed to do with sh*t? Scrape it up with a little shovel?
    Rudolph Junkins: Don't get smart with me, son.


  • Arnie Cunningham: Has it ever occurred to you that part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids?


  • Moochie: (sees Arnie's car stalking him; after him and his friends completely destroyed the car) - Hey Cunningham...is that you Cunningham?...Hey, you ain't mad are ya?
    Moochie: (sees Arnie's car stalking him; after him and his friends completely destroyed the car) Hey Cunningham, is that you Cunningham? Hey, you ain't mad are ya?


  • Arnie Cunningham: (after his car slightly repairs a section of itself) - ...Okay...Show me!
    Arnie Cunningham: (after his car slightly repairs a section of itself) Okay, Show me!


  • Arnie Cunningham: (talking to his parents about his car being destroyed) - It's your fault. If you hadn't been so damn selfish; you wouldn't let me park my own car...in your precious driveway, this never would have happened.
    Arnie Cunningham: (talking to his parents about his car being destroyed) It's your fault. If you hadn't been so damn selfish, you wouldn't let me park my own car in your precious driveway, this never would have happened.
    Regina Cunningham: (saddened) - Arnie, that's not fair.
    Regina Cunningham: (saddened) Arnie, that's not fair.
    Arnie Cunningham: Oh it's fair.
    Regina Cunningham: Can't we even...talk about this...like rational human beings?
    Regina Cunningham: Can't we even talk about this, like rational human beings?
    Arnie Cunningham: One of them took a sh*t on the dashboard of my car, Ma. Now how's that for rational, huh?
    Michael Cunningham: Why don't we-- Your mother and l have decided to help you buy a new car.
    Michael Cunningham: Why don't we. Your mother and l have decided to help you buy a new car.
    Arnie Cunningham: Well, that's what everybody wants, isn't it? Well, f**k you...I'm fixing up Christine.
    Arnie Cunningham: Well, that's what everybody wants, isn't it? Well, f**k you. I'm fixing up Christine.
    Michael Cunningham: (runs after Artie and grabs him by the jacket) - Listen, mister, you've been disrespectful to us once too often! You go back in there and apologize to your mother right now!
    Michael Cunningham: (runs after Artie and grabs him by the jacket) Listen, mister, you've been disrespectful to us once too often! You go back in there and apologize to your mother right now!
    Arnie Cunningham: Hey take your mitts off me, motherfu**er! (Attacks his father)


  • Arnie Cunningham: (yells at Leigh after she tries to comfort Arnie, after he sees his car destroyed) - DON'T TOUCH ME, SHITTER! Oh, this is just what you wanted! You get away from her! GET AWAY FROM HER!!!
    Arnie Cunningham: (yells at Leigh after she tries to comfort Arnie, after he sees his car destroyed) Don't touch me, shitter! Oh, this is just what you wanted! You get away from her! Get away from her!


  • Leigh Cabot: And there are other things. That radio...All it gets is those old songs. And sometimes when we're making out...it just stalls. As if the car were jealous, Arnie...A goddamn car!
    Leigh Cabot: And there are other things. That radio. All it gets is those old songs. And sometimes when we're making out it just stalls. As if the car were jealous, Arnie, a goddamn car!
    Arnie Cunningham: You know what I think? I think you're just sexually frustrated.


  • Arnie Cunningham: (after Leigh punches the seat in Arnie's car) - Cut it out. Don't.
    Arnie Cunningham: (after Leigh punches the seat in Arnie's car) Cut it out. Don't.
    Leigh Cabot: What? You don't like me slapping your girl?


  • Dennis Guilder: (about Leigh Cabot dating Arnie) - She just happens to be the most beautiful girl in the whole school.
    Dennis Guilder: (about Leigh Cabot dating Arnie) She just happens to be the most beautiful girl in the whole school.
    Arnie Cunningham: Well, it's not what you think. No I really...respect her mind. And...She lusts after my body. What can I say?
    Arnie Cunningham: Well, it's not what you think. No I really, respect her mind. And, she lusts after my body. What can I say?


  • Buddy: (at the football game; sees Arnie pulling up) - Is that Cunningham's car?
    Buddy: (at the football game; sees Arnie pulling up) Is that Cunningham's car?
    Moochie: I know where he keeps it.


  • Regina Cunningham: (talking about Arnie) - You're his best friend. What's going on?
    Regina Cunningham: (talking about Arnie) You're his best friend. What's going on?
    Dennis Guilder: I don't know. I hardly see him anymore.
    Regina Cunningham: Neither do we...Ever since he bought that car he's been obsessed with it. And you know what else? When we signed the registration papers at Town Hall...they told us the man who owned that car last...died in it of carbon monoxide poisoning.
    Regina Cunningham: Neither do we...Ever since he bought that car he's been obsessed with it. And you know what else? When we signed the registration papers at Town Hall, they told us the man who owned that car last died in it, of carbon monoxide poisoning.
    Dennis Guilder: Jesus. Does Arnie know about that?
    Regina Cunningham: Arnie doesn't know much of anything anymore.


  • Bemis: (watching Leigh Cabot in the library, as she reads; chewing on her pencil) - Look what she's doing to that pencil...l wish l was an eraser.
    Bemis: (watching Leigh Cabot in the library, as she reads; chewing on her pencil) Look what she's doing to that pencil. l wish l was an eraser.


  • Arnie Cunningham: (to his mother, as she complains to him about his behavior) - Get off my back!
    Arnie Cunningham: (to his mother, as she complains to him about his behavior) Get off my back!


  • Arnie Cunningham: (sees Dennis approaching his him, in Arnie's yard) - Oh sh*t!
    Arnie Cunningham: (sees Dennis approaching his him, in Arnie's yard) Oh sh*t!
    Dennis Guilder: Greetings to you too.


  • Will Darnell: Look uh...I know you don't exactly have money falling out of you?re a**hole. If you did, you wouldn't be here...Maybe we can work out some kind of deal...Why don't you sweep up around the place... do a few lubes... put the toilet paper on the little spools, sh*t like that. Do that and you can raid my junk pile for whatever you want? Hell, I might even throw in a few bucks.
    Will Darnell: Look uh, I know you don't exactly have money falling out of you?re a**hole. If you did, you wouldn't be here. Maybe we can work out some kind of deal. Why don't you sweep up around the place, do a few lubes, put the toilet paper on the little spools, sh*t like that. Do that and you can raid my junk pile for whatever you want? Hell, I might even throw in a few bucks.
    Arnie Cunningham: (smiles) - Well, I'll have to think about it.
    Arnie Cunningham: (smiles) Well, I'll have to think about it.
    Will Darnell: (angry) - Well don't think about it too long, I'll throw you out on your fu**ing ass!
    Will Darnell: (angry) Well don't think about it too long, I'll throw you out on your fu**ing ass!


  • Dennis Guilder: Arnie would've never bought that car if he known somebody died in it.
    George LeBay: Either you're dumber than you look or you don't know your friend very well. He had the same look in his eye my brother always had. Probably the only thing my brother ever loved in his whole rotten life was that car. No shitter ever came between him and Christine IF THEY DID...watch out. He had a five-year-old daughter choke to death in it. He wouldn't get rid of her. He just rode around, radio blaring, without a care in the world, except for Christine. Only time l ever interfered with it was when Rita killed herself.
    George LeBay: Either you're dumber than you look or you don't know your friend very well. He had the same look in his eye my brother always had. Probably the only thing my brother ever loved in his whole rotten life was that car. No shitter ever came between him and Christine if they did, watch out. He had a five-year-old daughter choke to death in it. He wouldn't get rid of her. He just rode around, radio blaring, without a care in the world, except for Christine. Only time l ever interfered with it was when Rita killed herself.
    Dennis Guilder: Who's Rita?
    George LeBay: His wife! He didn't care a rat's ass about her. She died the same way he did. Then l made him get rid of it. For decency, you know? - Of course, the car came back three weeks later.
    George LeBay: His wife! He didn't care a rat's ass about her. She died the same way he did. Then l made him get rid of it. For decency, you know? Of course, the car came back three weeks later.
    Dennis Guilder: What do you mean, "came back"?
    Dennis Guilder: What do you mean, 'came back'?


  • Will Darnell: Ya know Pepper, ya can't polish a turd.


  • Dennis Guilder: What is it about that car?
    Arnie Cunningham: Maybe it's just that for the first time in my life, I found something that's uglier than me.


  • Will Darnell: (Arnie pulls the worn out, smoking old Christine into Darnell's Do It Yourself garage) - Kiddo, you sold him that piece of sh*t you ought a be fu**ing ashamed of yourself.
    Will Darnell: (Arnie pulls the worn out, smoking old Christine into Darnell's Do It Yourself garage) Kiddo, you sold him that piece of sh*t you ought a be fu**ing ashamed of yourself.
    Dennis Guilder: I didn't sell it to him. I tried to talk him out of it.
    Will Darnell: You should of tried harder. - I knew a guy who had a car like that once. Fu**ing bastard killed himself in it. Son of a bitch was so mean...if you poured boiling water down his throat...he would have pissed ice cubes.
    Will Darnell: You should of tried harder. I knew a guy who had a car like that once. Fu**ing bastard killed himself in it. Son of a bitch was so mean, if you poured boiling water down his throat he would have pissed ice cubes.


  • Arnie Cunningham: (talking to his mother about the new car he bought, "Christine") - Look...you wanted me in college courses - I'm there. You wanted me in chess club instead of band. Okay, I'm there too. Now I've managed to get through seventeen years without embarrassing you in front of your Bridge Club or landing in jail. Now I'm telling you, I'm gonna have this. This one thing!
    Arnie Cunningham: (talking to his mother about the new car he bought, 'Christine') Look, you wanted me in college courses, I'm there. You wanted me in chess club instead of band. Okay, I'm there too. Now I've managed to get through seventeen years without embarrassing you in front of your Bridge Club or landing in jail. Now I'm telling you, I'm gonna have this. This one thing!


  • George LeBay: (about selling the car "Christine") - The money's not important...and there will be no bringing her back 'cause I'm selling this sh*t hole and buying me a condo.
    George LeBay: (about selling the car 'Christine') The money's not important, and there will be no bringing her back 'cause I'm selling this sh*t hole and buying me a condo.


  • George LeBay: (talking about the car "Christine") - My a**hole brother bought her back in September '57. That's when you got your new model year, in September. Brand-new, she was. She had the smell of a brand-new car. That's just about the finest smell in the world...except maybe for pu**y. When he got her, she had six miles on the odometer. Goddamn Roland went through hell and back with Christine.
    George LeBay: (talking about the car "Christine") My a**hole brother bought her back in September '57. That's when you got your new model year, in September. Brand-new, she was. She had the smell of a brand-new car. That's just about the finest smell in the world...except maybe for pu**y. When he got her, she had six miles on the odometer. Goddamn Roland went through hell and back with Christine.
    Dennis Guilder: If your brother loves this car so much, why is he selling it?
    George LeBay: 'Cause he's stone cold dead, that's why; died six weeks ago.
    George LeBay: 'Cause he's stone cold dead, that's why, died six weeks ago.


  • Dennis Guilder: (talking about the car "Christine", after seeing it for the first time) - It's a piece of sh*t Arnie.
    Dennis Guilder: (talking about the car 'Christine', after seeing it for the first time) It's a piece of sh*t Arnie.
    Arnie Cunningham: She could be fixed up. She could. Oh, she could be really tough.


  • Mr. Casey: (after fighting with Arnie; who says Buddy has a knife) - Empty your pockets, Buddy.
    Mr. Casey: (after fighting with Arnie; who says Buddy has a knife) Empty your pockets, Buddy.
    Buddy: F**k l will. You can't make me.
    Mr. Casey: If you mean I don't have the authority, you're wrong. If you think I won't turn out your pockets for you--
    Mr. Casey: If you mean I don't have the authority, you're wrong. If you think I won't turn out your pockets for you.
    Buddy: Yeah try it you little bald f**k AND I'll knock you through the wall, F**K!!
    Buddy: Yeah try it you little bald f**k, and I'll knock you through the wall, F**K!!


  • Moochie: (after attacking Dennis; squeezing his testicles) - How do you like that...di*kface?
    Moochie: (after attacking Dennis; squeezing his testicles) How do you like that di*kface?


  • Buddy: Come on, pizza face. You want it? COME GET IT! If it's yours, why doesn't it have your name on here anyway? ''Arnie Cuntingham.'' ...Why doesn't it say Cuntingham?
    Buddy: Come on, pizza face. You want it? COME GET IT! If it's yours, why doesn't it have your name on here anyway? 'Arnie Cuntingham.' Why doesn't it say Cuntingham?


  • Bemis: (talking about the new girl in school) - She smiled at me...l want to have deep, meaningful sex with her.
    Bemis: (talking about the new girl in school) She smiled at me. l want to have deep, meaningful sex with her.


  • Dennis Guilder: (talking about the new girl in school) - What's her name?
    Dennis Guilder: (talking about the new girl in school) What's her name?
    Bemis: l don't know. She's in the office. She looks smart...but she's got the body of a slut!
    Bemis: l don't know. She's in the office. She looks smart, but she's got the body of a slut!


  • Bemis: (talking about Roseanne to Dennis, as she walks away) - I wouldn't put that in my mouth. - You don't know where it's been.
    Bemis: (talking about Roseanne to Dennis, as she walks away) I wouldn't put that in my mouth. You don't know where it's been.
    Dennis Guilder: Get out of here.
    Arnie Cunningham: (jumps in the conversation; joking with Bemis) But we know where it hasn't been. Hasn't been with you, huh? (Laughs)
    Bemis: (gets annoyed with Arnie) - Ha-ha, Having trouble with your locker?
    Bemis: (gets annoyed with Arnie) Ha-ha, Having trouble with your locker?


  • Dennis Guilder: Now that we're gonna be seniors, l figure it's about time...that we got you laid. - You know, like this year, huh?
    Dennis Guilder: Now that we're gonna be seniors, l figure it's about time that we got you laid. You know, like this year, huh?
    Arnie Cunningham: You need a girl to get laid.
    Dennis Guilder: What about Gail Justin?
    Arnie Cunningham: l don't like her mustache.
    Dennis Guilder: Oh f**k you Arnie. I mean, what do you care if you get a little hair in your mouth? - Okay. How about Sally Hayes? She's cute.
    Dennis Guilder: Oh f**k you Arnie. I mean, what do you care if you get a little hair in your mouth? Okay. How about Sally Hayes? She's cute.
    Arnie Cunningham: She's a sophomore!
    Dennis Guilder: So what? She's a walking sperm bank.
    Arnie Cunningham: I don't know.
    Dennis Guilder: Come on.
    Arnie Cunningham: l don't have the minimum deposit to open an account.
    Dennis Guilder: Are you kidding? You carry your life savings between your legs. Come on, Arnie.
    Arnie Cunningham: l think maybe I'll just beat off.


  • Dennis Guilder: (talking to Arnie about his mother, in the car) - Are you guys having a war?
    Dennis Guilder: (talking to Arnie about his mother, in the car) Are you guys having a war?
    Arnie Cunningham: She's pissed off 'cause I'm taking shop...My dad too.
    Arnie Cunningham: She's pissed off 'cause I'm taking shop. My dad too.
    Dennis Guilder: It won't embarrass them when you fix their stupid Volvo for free. (Arnie shuts the music off) - What?
    Dennis Guilder: It won't embarrass them when you fix their stupid Volvo for free. (Arnie shuts the music off) What?
    Arnie Cunningham: Last night, we're playing Scrabble. It's neck-and-neck between me and her. We blew my dad away early. So, at the end, l had this choice of ''ratio'' for five lousy points... - or...
    Arnie Cunningham: Last night, we're playing Scrabble. It's neck-and-neck between me and her. We blew my dad away early. So, at the end, l had this choice of 'ratio' for five lousy points, or...
    Dennis Guilder: Or what, Arnie?
    Arnie Cunningham: "Falatio" for the triple word score for 24 points and the game.
    Arnie Cunningham: 'Falatio' for the triple word score for 24 points and the game.
    Dennis Guilder: What did she do?
    Arnie Cunningham: She won by seven points because obscenity's not allowed in Scrabble. And it's in the dictionary!


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