Cockneys vs Zombies Reviews
Andy and Terry decide to recruit a gang to rob a bank to get money to prevent their grandads retirement home from closing. Its closure will mean he (and the other residents) will have to go "up north somewhere". The thought of this is repulsive to them (as its grim up norf) as grandad proudly declares "ive never been north of Walthamstow dog track in my bleeding life gawd blimey guvor, apples and pears, etc". In the midst of the heist the area is taken over by zombies leaving the Police with more important things to worry about than bank robbers. Having escaped the bank (with hostages) as they were thankfully armed they decide to try to rescue the old biddies at the retirement home.
The humour in this film will not to be to everyones taste. For example there is a scene with a baby that whilst I found funny many will be offended by. I think this says more about my sense of humour than the moral majority in all honesty? However, there are some quality scenes. There is a scene with two rival zombie football gangs that really tickled me and a chase scene with an old man using a zimmer frame. Plenty of zombies dying in various creative ways but this is acceptable as they are no longer human so it makes it ok I guess?
Of the performances Honor "kinky boots" Blackman and Richard "Ggod life" Briers were especially good and Alan Ford does his Brick Top role from Snatch that he is so good at? The rest of the performances are ok and Michelle Ryan is simply a goddess so there is nothing more to be said?
It's short, but enjoyable. Not even 90 minutes (just under at about 80), you get right to the action in the opening scene with how the virus breaks out. It's pretty comical how fast everything happens, but this is not a movie hellbent on establishing a huge background on the history of the zombie virus. It just happens, the characters deal with it, and in the end you're left to wonder how it all ends.
A group of down on their luck friends decides they need to rob a bank to set their fortunes in the right direction. One of the friends recently put his father in a nursing home and the father's adjustment is very interesting. During the heist a zombie outbreak occurs. The gang decides to go rescue the father from the nursing home where they may be able to hold up until things get better.
"If we're gone longer than ten minutes..."
"...then fucking wait longer."
Matthias Hoene, director of the upcoming The Perfect Assassin and Warrior's Gate, delivers Cockneys vs Zombies. The storyline for this picture is a satire of sorts and doesn't take itself seriously. The comedic content and acting is corny.
"I'm going to stick the clapboard so far up your ass you're going to have to stick that pen up your nose to write on it."
When this was added to Netflix I instantly added it to my wish list. I hoped for a decent zombie flick, but solid horror movies are far and few between. Overall, this isn't anything special and has little going for it. I'd skip this.
"There's a dirty, filthy, cummy sock."