Cockneys vs Zombies - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Cockneys vs Zombies Reviews

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Super Reviewer
½ August 8, 2014
Cockneys versus Zombies -- not much mystery to what this film is about. It's silly and fun, also as the absurd title would suggest. If you're not looking for anything serious, this film is a good way to pass the time.
Super Reviewer
½ April 14, 2013
A gang of inept, would-be bank robbers have their big score interrupted by a zombie apocalypse that threatens the retirement community that houses their East End grandad and his friends. If there's ever been a film title that perfectly sums up its content, it's Cockneys Versus Zombies! I'm sure it conjures up a Guy Ritchie version of Shaun Of The Dead in your mind's eye, and that's exactly what you get. The effects are surprisingly good considering its obvious budget limitations and there are some suitably gory undead kills as well as a few laughs along the way, although it's more mildly amusing than laugh out loud funny. The premise actually has a lot of potential but the script doesn't really have the imagination to do it justice and the jokes are a little hit and miss, but it does have its moments. Cockneys Versus Zombies is nowhere near as witty or inventive as Shaun, but it's head and shoulders above many of its contemporaries such as Doghouse and the like. Not terrific, but not bad at all either.
Super Reviewer
January 11, 2013
Don't expect much from this movie and then you may enjoy it! I love Zombies and to introduce them to a cockney great such as Alan Ford what a great premise! theres not much to the Storyline but entertaining enough, its funny and gory i good zombie fest! love the OAP'S!
Super Reviewer
½ November 29, 2012
Think Sean Of The Dead meets Attack The Block and this loosely describes this film. The former has obvious comparisons and it is also essentially a very bloodthirsty black comedy and the latter as it primarily involves feral wide-boy chavs. You will definately need to disengage your brain before viewing.

Andy and Terry decide to recruit a gang to rob a bank to get money to prevent their grandads retirement home from closing. Its closure will mean he (and the other residents) will have to go "up north somewhere". The thought of this is repulsive to them (as its grim up norf) as grandad proudly declares "ive never been north of Walthamstow dog track in my bleeding life gawd blimey guvor, apples and pears, etc". In the midst of the heist the area is taken over by zombies leaving the Police with more important things to worry about than bank robbers. Having escaped the bank (with hostages) as they were thankfully armed they decide to try to rescue the old biddies at the retirement home.

The humour in this film will not to be to everyones taste. For example there is a scene with a baby that whilst I found funny many will be offended by. I think this says more about my sense of humour than the moral majority in all honesty? However, there are some quality scenes. There is a scene with two rival zombie football gangs that really tickled me and a chase scene with an old man using a zimmer frame. Plenty of zombies dying in various creative ways but this is acceptable as they are no longer human so it makes it ok I guess?
Of the performances Honor "kinky boots" Blackman and Richard "Ggod life" Briers were especially good and Alan Ford does his Brick Top role from Snatch that he is so good at? The rest of the performances are ok and Michelle Ryan is simply a goddess so there is nothing more to be said?
Super Reviewer
December 5, 2012
In truth it's a bit of a mess in terms of visual style and editing, but Cockneys vs Zombies has a terrific script and one incredibly funny visual gag involving an OAP on a zimmer frame being "chased" by a Zombie.
Super Reviewer
½ November 1, 2012
Finally, a zombie movie where the actors/characters in the movie actually recognize the baddies for what they really are! ZOMBIES. There's something about the British accents that make these kinds of movies funnier than they most likely are with all the slang terms.

It's short, but enjoyable. Not even 90 minutes (just under at about 80), you get right to the action in the opening scene with how the virus breaks out. It's pretty comical how fast everything happens, but this is not a movie hellbent on establishing a huge background on the history of the zombie virus. It just happens, the characters deal with it, and in the end you're left to wonder how it all ends.
Super Reviewer
½ November 5, 2013
The British have a knack for making zom-coms, I guess. Though nowhere as good as Shaun and his gang, it's fun to watch Cockneys taking on a zombie apocalypse.
Super Reviewer
January 8, 2013
As my friends pointed out if this film had just focused on the youngsters and not included the OAP's then it would have been dreadful. Thankfully Richard Briers and Alan Ford produce some comedy gold with a lot of their scenes. Briers in particular has a great scene trying to escape from a lurching zombes whilst on a zimmer frame ("Zombies! Oh no..."). Ford is similar to his character in 'Snatch' and doesn't hold back on the f-bombs but somehow that just makes the whole thing more hilarious. A lot of the zombie cliches have been seen before and have been done better but at least the characters here seem to have some knowledge of how to deal with the undead and there are some creative (and gory) zombie kills. Plus we have a great zombie baby death! This is no 'Shaun of the Dead' or 'Zombieland' but with a title like this I was expecting much, much worse!
½ August 13, 2014
If the title doesn't make you wanna see it, it actually should. It starts out pretty much with the gore and then just has more and more. It even has a quick origin story to let you know where the Zombies started. As long as you like Zombie movies you will like this. I just wanted more.
½ September 15, 2013
A good natured and mildly comedic zombie movie. The acting is really quite good and the zombie effects are well done. Not as funny as Shaun of the Dead but enjoyable.
½ September 7, 2013
An interesting concept but unfortunately not strong enough to cross into either the horror or comedy genres. In the end the entire story felt like a wandering mess not knowing which side to sit on.
½ August 3, 2013
Mediocre to the point where it actually becomes boring. It's not particularly funny. Or clever. Or anything. But it's not exactly bad either. Just meh. SKIP IT.
November 2, 2012
I didn't think this was that funny.. It wasn't bad, though. A group fights their way to an old folks home to save his grandpa. I liked seeing the old guy in the walker trying to outrun the zombie. And the zombie with a metal plate in his head was a nice touch.
October 31, 2015
Hallowe'en viewing, 2015
½ September 29, 2015
Just a silly funny film that does exactly what it says on the tin. A film about Zombies attacking the East End. Alan Ford is the real star reprising his usual role cockney gangster role (to perfection)
½ July 20, 2015
You're about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike.

A group of down on their luck friends decides they need to rob a bank to set their fortunes in the right direction. One of the friends recently put his father in a nursing home and the father's adjustment is very interesting. During the heist a zombie outbreak occurs. The gang decides to go rescue the father from the nursing home where they may be able to hold up until things get better.

"If we're gone longer than ten minutes..."
"...then fucking wait longer."

Matthias Hoene, director of the upcoming The Perfect Assassin and Warrior's Gate, delivers Cockneys vs Zombies. The storyline for this picture is a satire of sorts and doesn't take itself seriously. The comedic content and acting is corny.

"I'm going to stick the clapboard so far up your ass you're going to have to stick that pen up your nose to write on it."

When this was added to Netflix I instantly added it to my wish list. I hoped for a decent zombie flick, but solid horror movies are far and few between. Overall, this isn't anything special and has little going for it. I'd skip this.

"There's a dirty, filthy, cummy sock."

Grade: D
½ April 14, 2015
Like many people, I'd assumed it would be terrible because of the title, but it's surprisingly and consistently funny from start to end. Although obviously low budget, the script is sharp and there's not a sub-par performance from any of the cast, with old favourites like Richard Briers chipping in with plenty of funny moments. Deserves it's place on the imaginary dvd-shelf with Shawn of the Dead and, personally, I think it's the funnier flick.
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