The Tomatometer rating – based on the published opinions of hundreds of film and television critics – is a trusted measurement of movie and TV programming quality for millions of moviegoers. It represents the percentage of professional critic reviews that are positive for a given film or television show.
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The Tomatometer is 60% or higher.
The Tomatometer is 59% or lower.
Movies and TV shows are Certified Fresh with a steady Tomatometer of 75% or higher after a set amount of reviews (80 for wide-release movies, 40 for limited-release movies, 20 for TV shows), including 5 reviews from Top Critics.
Percentage of users who rate a movie or TV show positively.
The film lacks any magic, and indeed any of the spirit that grabbed a cult audience for the original: the direction lacks any kind of showmanship, and the script is a dilluted version of what it undoubtedly could have been.
It's pretty much like getting a straight shot of testosterone, whether you want it or not. In fact, just standing near one of the posters for Marcus Nispel's Conan the Barbarian will put hair on your chest regardless of age or gender.
The whole affair buries the needle on the stupid-meter, with a droning score and the most ear-shattering sound effects in recent memory, plus pointless 3-D and a visual style about as subtle as the side of one of those old air-brushed conversion vans.
I've certainly seen worse movies this summer, though I hope that if director Nispel returns to the land of Hyboria he'll learn that sword fights don't respond well to his chaotic brand of staging, made worse by the editing.