Conan the Barbarian Reviews
The early scenes in the film suggest a strong vengeance quest, and are littered with potentially interesting characters. The problem is, after that ends, the filmmakers pack it in and rely on the visuals to carry the film and pay minimal attention to the characters. Conan could have been like Mad Max; action first and words second, but nobody else did their job dialogue-wise, so it falls flat.
As such, there isn't much good to say about this movie beyond the visuals. It would have been nice if the screenwriters hadn't written the skeleton script, gone for coffee, and jumped off a bridge. If they had finished it, it might have gotten there. Or at least been stronger.
This version is a mockery of that, and the poor story telling loses my interest in a mere 10 minutes of the film. If you want to see Conan the Barbarian, see the original. If you want special effects and a storyline fit for a five yr old, than this is your film.
I really feel disappointed with this in every aspect, Momoa certainly looked the part but he wasn't quite big enough for me, not enough muscle tone, he played the part OK but there was too much needless sword twirling and fancy pointless showmanship. Lang and McGowan didn't really thrill me either, they both looked like characters outta Star Trek and were simply dull, much like all the characters, just your run of the mill faceless baddies with silly haircuts. Poor old Perlman looked like a flipping Wookie or Neanderthal in his get up, the abominable swordsman.
I just felt a real lack of inspiration throughout the film, the location and sets were drab, nothing really exciting actually happened and the finale was a mess of bad bluescreen, poor models and poor CGI. Throw into the mix a very lackluster giant octopus monster thing (terrible CGI again) which didn't really do anything, totally mediocre and has been done before over and over *sigh*.
Yes the film sticks to original source material by staying violent with plenty of blood and gore (although the blood was again bad CGI in places), but the film just felt like it lacked care, just tossing together all the old cliches and old ideas and throwing out yet another lame reboot/remake...whatever.