Conan the Barbarian Reviews
The early scenes in the film suggest a strong vengeance quest, and are littered with potentially interesting characters. The problem is, after that ends, the filmmakers pack it in and rely on the visuals to carry the film and pay minimal attention to the characters. Conan could have been like Mad Max; action first and words second, but nobody else did their job dialogue-wise, so it falls flat.
As such, there isn't much good to say about this movie beyond the visuals. It would have been nice if the screenwriters hadn't written the skeleton script, gone for coffee, and jumped off a bridge. If they had finished it, it might have gotten there. Or at least been stronger.
This version is a mockery of that, and the poor story telling loses my interest in a mere 10 minutes of the film. If you want to see Conan the Barbarian, see the original. If you want special effects and a storyline fit for a five yr old, than this is your film.
I really feel disappointed with this in every aspect, Momoa certainly looked the part but he wasn't quite big enough for me, not enough muscle tone, he played the part OK but there was too much needless sword twirling and fancy pointless showmanship. Lang and McGowan didn't really thrill me either, they both looked like characters outta Star Trek and were simply dull, much like all the characters, just your run of the mill faceless baddies with silly haircuts. Poor old Perlman looked like a flipping Wookie or Neanderthal in his get up, the abominable swordsman.
I just felt a real lack of inspiration throughout the film, the location and sets were drab, nothing really exciting actually happened and the finale was a mess of bad bluescreen, poor models and poor CGI. Throw into the mix a very lackluster giant octopus monster thing (terrible CGI again) which didn't really do anything, totally mediocre and has been done before over and over *sigh*.
Yes the film sticks to original source material by staying violent with plenty of blood and gore (although the blood was again bad CGI in places), but the film just felt like it lacked care, just tossing together all the old cliches and old ideas and throwing out yet another lame reboot/remake...whatever.
Momoa who I like looks the part of Conan although not as huge as Arnie was back in his day. I also like him from Stargate and Game of Thrones. But there you go, it was like a big budget version of one of those. The scenery looked out of proportion in some shots then amazing in others. The bad guy had nothing on James Earl Jones in the original. He was adequate and had his moments.
Although I like Rachel Nichols in Continuim, she had too many screaming moments then she kicked ass then she was back to screaming again.
Ron Pearlman as Conans dad was superb, I like pretty much anything he does
Sword and sorcery movies were made from Arnies original. There were lots of sword and not much sorcery. I know we had the young witch, the sand creatures were pretty neat she created, but she should have been more powerful. The Orginal Conan was perfectly cast with Arnie and did take itsef more serious which worked. Arnies accent also worked. Momoa is too polished and goes from being a sullen Barbarian to gentleman every other scene. Arnie kept in Barbarian mode all of the time.
The whole build up of Conan growing up in the orginal as being a slave and pushing around the big wheel for years which made him physically strong was missing. Hes a boy, then he is Conan in one shot. Ok, cool things. The fights are awesome, blood and guts in a sparticas Gladiator was. They were great. The opening when Conan is a boy and proves already hes the toughest guy in his village apart from his father.
Sword fighting also is very well done. Ok Im struggling now.
Let me sum it up.
If you have a couple of hours in the afternoon or at night. This is an entertaining movie. Its fun, action packed and if you have a 3D TV then its probably even better. If you are a fan of the original Conan, you will probably have the same feelings as I did. Would I watch it again. Probably if it was on and I wanted to kill a couple of hours.