Creepshow 2 - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Creepshow 2 Quotes

  • The Creep: There's a lesson for you kiddies. Never pick up hitch-hikers...On the hood of your car - (chuckles).
    The Creep: There's a lesson for you kiddies. Never pick up hitch-hikers. On the hood of your car (chuckles).
    The Creep: There's a lesson for you kiddies. Never pick up hitch-hikers, on the hood of your car (chuckles).


  • Annie Lansing: (talking to herself again) - "What happened, Mrs. Lansing?"...Oh, I ran over some guy and over and over and over and over...and...
    Annie Lansing: (talking to herself again) What happened, Mrs. Lansing?Oh, I ran over some guy and over and over and over and over and...


  • The Hitchhiker: (as a zombie) - How are you doing lady? Thanks...thanks for the ride!
    The Hitchhiker: (as a zombie) How are you doing lady? Thanks, thanks for the ride!


  • Annie Lansing: (after thinking she saw the guy she killed on the road) - You're seeing things, bitch...You can't live with it.
    Annie Lansing: (after thinking she saw the guy she killed on the road) You're seeing things, bitch. You can't live with it.


  • Annie's Lover: I do my job well; I expect to be paid well. Now, come on. I counted six orgasms. And you probably had others...silently, so I wouldn't get a swelled head.
    Annie's Lover: I do my job well. I expect to be paid well. Now, come on. I counted six orgasms. And you probably had others, silently, so I wouldn't get a swelled head.
    Annie Lansing: You charge by the orgasm?
    Annie's Lover: Good idea. Maybe I should. Then I'd have something to work for.


  • Deke: (after the blob goes underneath the raft) - Hey! What is this sh*t, Poncho? It looks like it's going under the raft.
    Deke: (after the blob goes underneath the raft) Hey! What is this sh*t, Poncho? It looks like it's going under the raft.
    Laverne: Did it go under us? Did it go under the raft? Is it under us?
    Deke: Yeah, and I'm gonna swim for it. Right now!
    Laverne: No! Don't leave us here! Don't!
    Deke: I'm fast and I can make it. You've gotta go while it's under the raft. (The blob eats his foot) AAaaaahhhhhhh!


  • Randy: (talking about the blob that's in the water) - Maybe if it's full like you say...it'll go away. But if it still wants chow...
    Randy: (talking about the blob that's in the water) Maybe if it's full like you say, it'll go away. But if it still wants chow...


  • Deke: (yelling at Laverne) - Stop it or I swear to God I'm gonna smoke you.
    Deke: (yelling at Laverne) Stop it or I swear to God I'm gonna smoke you.


  • Deke: (talking about the blob) - Come on, man. You read the science books. You're the brainball. What the f**k is that thing?
    Deke: (talking about the blob) Come on, man. You read the science books. You're the brainball. What the f**k is that thing?
    Randy: Nothing like this in any science book I ever read.


  • Rachel: (after falling in the blob that's in the water) - H-H-Help! It hurts...it hurts!
    Rachel: (after falling in the blob that's in the water) H-H-Help! It hurts, it hurts!


  • Randy: That oil slick we saw was just this big sticky mess in the water and streaks and smudges. It looked like an accident. This thing doesn't look like an accident; it looks like...it's on purpose.
    Randy: That oil slick we saw was just this big sticky mess in the water and streaks and smudges. It looked like an accident. This thing doesn't look like an accident, it looks like, it's on purpose.
    Rachel: Well, what is it then, Randy? What is it?
    Randy: I-I don't know.
    Randy: I don't know.
    Deke: I can't get grieved about it, man. I mean... (inhales the joint deeply) - No matter how hard I try, I just can't get worried about it. You know what I mean? (laughs)
    Deke: I can't get grieved about it, man. I mean. (inhales the joint deeply) No matter how hard I try, I just can't get worried about it. You know what I mean? (laughs)


  • Deke: Ooh, mucho ecological, Poncho, mucho ecological.


  • Randy: (looking at the blob in the water) - This thing, I don't know what the hell it is.
    Randy: (looking at the blob in the water) This thing, I don't know what the hell it is.
    Deke: It's an oil slick. I guess.
    Randy: It's not. Have you ever seen a perfectly round oil slick?
    Deke: I've never seen an oil slick at all.
    Laverne: (shivering) - I'm cold.
    Laverne: (shivering) I'm cold.
    Deke: Besides, Poncho, I don't believe in oil slicks, man (grabs Rachel) - I only believe in what I can smell, taste...and touch.
    Deke: Besides, Poncho, I don't believe in oil slicks, man (grabs Rachel) I only believe in what I can smell, taste, and touch.


  • Deke: (in a deep voice) - Don't tip the raft...don't tip the raft, baby!
    Deke: (in a deep voice) Don't tip the raft. Don't tip the raft, baby!


  • Randy: (already in the lake, yelling too Rachel and Laverne) - Come on! It's not so bad once you're in. (looks at Deke, who's also in the water) - That's bullshit. Bullsh*t, man. Just playing Deke's game 'cause you hope to get laid out here...Too damn cold to get laid. Balls are gonna turn into ice cubes.
    Randy: (already in the lake, yelling too Rachel and Laverne) Come on! It's not so bad once you're in. (looks at Deke, who's also in the water) That's bullshit. Bullshit, man. Just playing Deke's game 'cause you hope to get laid out here. Too damn cold to get laid. Balls are gonna turn into ice cubes.


  • Deke: (in the car smoking weed) - Pass the joint. Pass the joint.
    Deke: (in the car smoking weed) Pass the joint. Pass the joint.


  • The Creep: Still here, kiddies? Well, if old Chief Wood'nhead didn't drive you away, you might enjoy this next splintering tale whittled from the same wormwood. It's a splashing little ditty about some people who are left stranded without a paddle on a sea of blood. This bubbly bonbon is titled...The Raft.
    The Creep: Still here, kiddies? Well, if old Chief Wood'nhead didn't drive you away, you might enjoy this next splintering tale whittled from the same wormwood. It's a splashing little ditty about some people who are left stranded without a paddle on a sea of blood. This bubbly bonbon is titled, The Raft.


  • Boy Billy: Venus flytrap. It's a plant that eats meat. Rooooaaarrrr!


  • Ben Whitemoon: (looking at Old Chief Wood'nhead holding a bloody scalp) - Now...may your spirit rest, old warrior.
    Ben Whitemoon: (looking at Old Chief Wood'nhead holding a bloody scalp) Now, may your spirit rest, old warrior.


  • Sam Whitemoon: (after seeing Old Chief Wood'nhead) - No. You're not alive man...You can't be alive!
    Sam Whitemoon: (after seeing Old Chief Wood'nhead) No. You're not alive man. You can't be alive!


  • Andy Cavenaugh: (puts on a cowboy hat) - Yeah, why don't you run us out of town, Sheriff?
    Andy Cavenaugh: (puts on a cowboy hat) Yeah, why don't you run us out of town, Sheriff?


  • Fatso Gribbens: (watching an old TV show) - Loco...Loco! Loooooooocooo! Lo- (gets shot in through the chest with an arrow).
    Fatso Gribbens: (watching an old TV show) Loco. Loco! Loooooooocooo! (gets shot in through the chest with an arrow).


  • Sam Whitemoon: No more of this bullsh*t, man...No more eatin' dust for a living (shoots his gun) - There ain't no dust in Hollywood, man...And there ain't no fu**ing tribe of tommin', wimpy-assed red men, neither (shoots his gun).
    Sam Whitemoon: No more of this bullsh*t, man. No more eatin' dust for a living (shoots his gun) There ain't no dust in Hollywood, man. And there ain't no fu**ing tribe of tommin', wimpy-assed red men, neither (shoots his gun).


  • Fatso Gribbens: (after Martha gets shot) - Holy sh*t! Holy Jesus! - I've never seen nothing like that before.
    Fatso Gribbens: (after Martha gets shot) Holy sh*t! Holy Jesus! I've never seen nothing like that before.
    Sam Whitemoon: Yeah. Well, now you've seen it. Now you're gonna forget it.


  • Sam Whitemoon: Did you know my buddy here was rich?
    Martha Spruce: No.
    Sam Whitemoon: Well, his old man's rich. His old man 'bought my buddy here a Firebird. A fu**ing Firebird that's gonna fly us all to Hollywood, USA. - (sees Ray trying to help his wife)...AND ONE MORE STEP AND...BAM!
    Sam Whitemoon: Well, his old man's rich. His old man 'bought my buddy here a Firebird. A fu**ing Firebird that's gonna fly us all to Hollywood, USA. (sees Ray trying to help his wife) And one more step and, Bam.


  • Sam Whitemoon: Hey, you know that movie, about the guy that's got, like, superpowers and sh*t because of his hair? Then this bitch cuts his hair off. And he gets weak. He gets like an ordinary guy. You know that movie? - I'm better-looking than the guy in that movie. Don't you think?
    Sam Whitemoon: Hey, you know that movie, about the guy that's got, like, superpowers and sh*t because of his hair? Then this bitch cuts his hair off. And he gets weak. He gets like an ordinary guy. You know that movie? I'm better looking than the guy in that movie. Don't you think?


  • Sam Whitemoon: Over here, lady. (Martha doesn't see him so he shouts louder) - Over here, lady!!
    Sam Whitemoon: Over here, lady. (Martha doesn't see him so he shouts louder) Over here, lady!


  • Sam Whitemoon: Nine years it took me to grow this hair, man. I'm not just fucking around here. I'm going to Hollywood, man. This hair is gonna get me paid and laid.


  • Sam Whitemoon: This thing work?
    Martha Spruce: What?
    Sam Whitemoon: (yells and smashes his gun into a shelf) - THE PHOTO MACHINE, does it work?!
    Sam Whitemoon: (yells and smashes his gun into a shelf) The photo machine, does it work?!


  • Sam Whitemoon: Any cute stuff back there... (gets slapped by Martha, and smiles) I'll pull this trigger.
    Sam Whitemoon: Any cute stuff back there. (gets slapped by Martha, and smiles) I'll pull this trigger.


  • Sam Whitemoon: Empty your pockets.
    Ray Spruce: I haven't got...
    Ray Spruce: I haven't got.
    Sam Whitemoon: I said empty your fu**ing pockets, a**hole. Or I'll ask my buddy to bring me something off the hardware shelf that I can use to slice off your fingers.


  • The Creep: Welcome, kiddies...to another edition of Creepshow. It's amazing that you boors and ghouls keep coming back for more. You must be gluttons for punishment, eh?
    The Creep: Welcome, kiddies, to another edition of Creepshow. It's amazing that you boors and ghouls keep coming back for more. You must be gluttons for punishment, eh?


  • The Creep: I've never seen anyone so impatient, Billy. As if your life depended on getting the first copy off the presses.


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