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Critic Reviews for Cross
Audience Reviews for Cross
Allow me to preface this review, by saying that I'm not entirely sure if this movie was supposed to be taken seriously. Nowhere in any online description have I found Cross, listed under comedy, and if that is truly the case, then the filmmakers must think people are all very simple minded. Full of 80s teen hearthrobs, cliche lines, and really awful special effects, I was sure that this was going to be a farce of the Avengers, the only problem is, it never did get funny. Callan Cross (Brian Austin Green) is an ordinary man, who is given superhero powers from an ancient cross he wears around his neck. When the cross is stolen, Callan and his band of aerobatic, kung fu, gadget wearing friends, go to retrieve the cross and discover a much larger conspiracy. Brian Austin Green stars and at one time, he was a great actor, he was good looking too, but that's all changed. Depressed and lazy, Green delivers absolutely some of the worst dialogue I've ever heard, over the course of ninety minutes. He was clearly in it for the paycheck, as Cross is streaming, featured, and complete garbage. I even suspect that the whole 80s teen heartthrob aspect wasn't intentional, but rather the only actors desperate enough for work, that they agreed to be cast in this thing. Don't let looks deceive you, this is no farce, and it is far from being the Avengers, the only thing Cross is, is a complete waste of time.
So can anyone tell me what the hell is suppose to have gone on in this film? wait silly question. So has anyone actually sat down and watched this film?! no wait, has anyone actually heard of this film?? bingo. Clearly a comicbook stylised film although I don't think its based on anything real, could be wrong. The start of the film shows you this with a little comicbook intro and it does look like it could be some fun, a hidden gem. The plot is daft and something about a Celtic looking cross amulet thingy that gives people power and has been passed down through generations. It ends up in the hands of Brian Austin Green and gives him super powers, mainly strength...oh and some odd green glow side effect too. Green's character 'Callen' has a team of elite soldiers that work with him regularly to fight against Michael Duncan Clarke who is some kind of criminal kingpin. But then Vinnie Jones turns up as...errrr a viking warrior cursed with immortality and threatens mankind. Clarke and his bad guys join with Jones to take over the world or something like that, they are baddies is all you need to know. So yeah, Vinnie Jones playing an undead viking warrior who is immortal, has a thick London cockney accent and for some reason is wearing an American 30/40's style bomber jacket. The good guys fair no better, we get no info on any of them frankly, no idea who they are or why they do what they do. They all have stupid names like 'Shark' 'Riot' and 'War', presumeably code names but they sound like Transformers and we don't get their real names if they have any. The baddie henchmen also have silly names too so I'm thinking this film is trying for some kind of Marvel superhero type angle, cool characters with cool names. Despite the fact this is clearly a comicbook flick there isn't actually any real special effects or superhero-like sequences. We get some super strength moments from the hero who then shines/glows green and that's it! (the green looks dreadfully tacky too). Its like they have tried to create an awesome 'Spawn/X-Men/DareDevil/Avengers' type film but without any kind of budget...or plot. The only thing that impresses here is the cast line up. A list of decent characters actors from past and present including Trejo, Sizemore, Jake Busey and Zabka from 'The Karate Kid'. Dunno why Sizemore's character is in this as he only pops up at the start and at the end, even though he's suppose to be after the bad guys and appears to have an important part to play. You can see this was an attempt at something big but has fallen flat on its face. Incredibly poor B-movie, in fact its films like this that give B-movies a bad image, even as a TV movie it would be bad.
"I heard scream"? even the subtitles were grammatically correct as they read " I her scream"....it hurts my head it really does. Considering the story you would have to be insane to think this wasn't going to be cheesy. It was, but at least it was expecting and still mildly entertaining.
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