Dazed and Confused - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Dazed and Confused Quotes

  • Slater: Are you cool, man?
    Mitch Kramer: Like how?
    Slater: Okay.


  • O'Bannion: Oh you didn't hear? I got a shotgun pulled on my ass!


  • Kevin Pickford: Walkin' down the hall, by myself, smokin' a jay with fifty elves.


  • Kevin Pickford: Don, give the beer back, man!
    Don Dawson: I paid for the beer, man.


  • Simone: What a bitch she called me a slut. I'm gonna kick her ass.
    Darla: You said you wouldn't get mad.
    Simone: I'm not mad!


  • Darla: We know you they talk about us, what do they say?
    Shavonne: No they don't.
    Darla: You're lying you bitch. When you do that I know you're lying.
    Simone: Come on you can tell us.
    Shavonne: Don't get mad.
    Simone: I'm not gonna get mad I'm just curious.
    Shavonne: Ok she called you a bitch and you a slut. [laughs]
    Darla: She called me a bitch! Thats funny! What a riot.


  • Carl: Don't let the fact that you won't be able to sit down all summer affect your game.


  • Simone: I can't believe she called me a slut. What a bitch!
    Shavonne: [laughing] Simone everyone calls you a slut
    Simone: Shavonne!


  • Kevin Pickford: Step into my head.


  • Cynthia: Maybe the 80s will be like radical or something. I figure we'll be in our 20s and it cant' get worse.


  • Kevin Pickford: Hey you guys know what that song is about? Its about the aliens. We're the aliens man, we're the savages. We're the savages man.


  • Benny: Mitchy. Mitchy, mitchy, mitchy...
    Benny: We're lookin' for you pal. Your ass will be purple before the day is over!


  • Carl: We're not in Junior High any more. We're freshmen. We're in the big time now... where the girls will be puttin' out all the time.


  • Benny: I don't know coach, I've been doin' so well in english I thought I might work on bein' a writer. What do ya think about that?


  • Mr. Payne: Fifty of you are leaving on a mission. Twenty-five of you ain't coming back.


  • Clint: You said, "Someone's tokin' some reefer."
    Mike: No, I meant somewhere I smell some pot, you know? It was just an observation.
    Clint: Oh, an observation, huh? Well who the hell are you, man? Isaac fucking Newton?


  • Don Dawson: Check ya later! Check ya later!


  • Don Dawson: Slate man, why are you always such a dork man?


  • Slater: Oh, a little weed, you know. There may be a beer bust later on.


  • O'Bannion: We just bagged your mother.
    Slater: Okay, fuck you dickhead.


  • Cynthia: Did you hear that O'Bannion flunked?
    Randy "Pink" Floyd: Yeah, what a dumbshit.


  • Don Dawson: Mmm... bowling ball. Bowling ball. Yeah throw it. Faggot, sissy, pussy, freshman.


  • Randy "Pink" Floyd: All I'm saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life - remind me to kill myself.


  • O'Bannion: Y'all ready to bust some ass?


  • Mike: I feel like I'm being stalked by a Nazi.


  • Ms. Stroud: Okay guys, one more thing, this summer when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn't want to pay their taxes.


  • O'Bannion: This first lick I'd like to dedicate to your mother... fuck her.


  • Don Dawson: You know that Julie chick? Loves you. You want her? Gotta play it cool, you know. You can't let her know how much you like ?cause if she knows, she'll dump you like that. Believe me. Like, if she asks you if you want a ride, you say, "No, I've got my own ride, but maybe I'll see you later." Sounds stupid, doesn't it? It works.


  • Don Dawson: [opening his mouth wide] Go like this. Do you spit or swallow?
    Freshman Girl: Whatever you like.
    Don Dawson: Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you.


  • Slater: Didja ever look at a dollar bill, man? There's some spooky shit goin' on there. And it's green too.


  • Randy "Pink" Floyd: Don, have you ever thought about why we play football? How many times have you gotten laid strictly because you're a football player?
    Don Dawson: I don't know. A few, I guess.


  • Darla: What are you looking at? Wipe that face off your head, bitch.


  • Slater: This place used to be off limits, man, 'cause some drunk freshman fell off. He went right down the middle, smacking his head on every beam, man. I hear it doesn't hurt after the first couple though. Autopsy said he had one beer, how many did you have?


  • Slater: Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.


  • Slater: George Washington was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens, man.


  • Slater: Imagine how many people out there are fuckin' right now man, just goin' at it.


  • Mike: Dominant male monkey mother fucker.


  • Mike: Don't air raid for that bitch, I hate that shit. It's like that Clint fucker in front of all his friends. Huh? Huh mother fucker.


  • Tony: [describing his dream] So there I am, getting it on with this perfect female body and...
    Tony: But with the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard, everything.


  • Tony: NeoMcCarthyism, I like that.
    Tony: Neo-McCarthyism, I like that.


  • Mike: It's what everybody in this car needs is some good ol' worthwhile visceral experience.


  • Mike: It's what everybody in this car needs is some good ol' worthwhile visceral experience.


  • Don Dawson: Vicki. Come on, let's skip out and go get naked. Come on let's go.


  • Tony: So, you're not gonna go to law school? What do you wanna do then?
    Mike: I wanna dance!


  • Cynthia: I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor, insignificant preamble to somethin' else.


  • Mike: Am I mistaken or was there some unspoken thing between you and that young vixen... you stud.
    Tony: Well you know how it is.
    Mike: Yeah, I bet she's pretty cute once you clean all the shit off her.


  • Jodi Kramer: What are we, having social hour over here? You're supposed to be being a bitch.


  • Jodi Kramer: Hey, I hear my name over here? You guys talking about me? Mitch, I heard they got you pretty bad. Those guys... you know I asked them to take it easy on you?
    Mitch Kramer: What? Well no wonder!


  • O'Bannion: You are an embarrassment to the game of pool and should be glad I even let you play at my table.


  • Randy "Pink" Floyd: Have you seen Jodi around?
    Wooderson: No she left your ass.
    Randy "Pink" Floyd: Well you win some you lose some.


  • Melvin: Hey. Come here. We just wanna know something. You gonna be fucking that tonight, or are you gonna be a little wimp?
    Mitch Kramer: [laughs] How do you know I haven't already?
    Melvin: [clearly pleased, laughs] Go along man, I think its past your bedtime!


  • Randy "Pink" Floyd: Wait a minute. Who put the keg all the way out here in the woods?


  • Darla: Ok girlies. It's really hot out here and I'm really sick of looking at you.


  • Shavonne: You're an asshole.
    Don Dawson: I know I am.


  • Don Dawson: Just to get the coaches off our backs, they're being fucking assholes. That's why you sign it and never think about it again. Just ket it go.
    Don Dawson: Just to get the coaches off our backs, they're being fucking assholes. That's why you sign it and never think about it again. Just let it go.


  • Mike: I didn't think drugs and alchohol were such a big deal they had to resort to Neo-McCarthyism to get rid of it.
    Randy "Pink" Floyd: I think they're just worried that some of us are having too good a time.


  • Simone: You act like you're so oppressed. You guys are kings of the school. What are you bitching about?


  • Kaye: Think about it! You're basically alone on a deserted island with 2 readily available women. One, a seductive sex goddess type. The other... a healthy girl-next-door-type with a nice butt. So the men have it all, the Madonna and the whore. Women get nothing! We get a geek, an overweight middle-age guy, and a nerdy scientific type.


  • Darla: Oh that's it, Miss Hot Stuff. I'm gonna make the next year of your life a living hell
    Darla: Oh that's it, Miss Hot Stuff. I'm gonna make the next year of your life a living hell.


  • Randy "Pink" Floyd: It's best to get it all at once. After the first 10 licks your ass gets so numb you don't feel it.


  • Randy "Pink" Floyd: Put some ice on it. After that, there's nothing a few beers won't take care of.


  • Mitch Kramer: Just don't ask her to take it easy on me.


  • Jodi Kramer: Thats bullshit. That's major bullshit. You know I was barely let out at your age?


  • Mitch Kramer: Man I hate that guy, he's a jerk. He is a jerk, right?
    Randy "Pink" Floyd: Yeah. He's kind of a joke.


  • Benny: You just wasted another beer.


  • Randy "Pink" Floyd: It was vicious. Had some pretty cool seniors though. Like, they'd beat the hell out of you and then get you drunk, that sort of thing.


  • Randy "Pink" Floyd: I may play ball next fall, but I will never sign that. Now me and my loser friends are gonna head out to buy Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer.


  • Benny: Major bullshit. He's a dead man.


  • O'Bannion: What are you looking at? Huh? I'll kick your fucking ass, right now! What are you smiling at? Freshman faggot!
    O'Bannion: Fuck all of you! Fuck you!


  • Wooderson: Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle.


  • Simone: I did it when I was a freshman, and you'll do it when you're seniors. but you're doing great. Now fry like bacon, you little freshman piggies. Fry!


  • Don Dawson: Well, all Iâ??m saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this placeâ?¦ Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.
    Don Dawson: Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place. Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.


  • Wooderson: What do you reckon you're gonna do?
    Randy "Pink" Floyd: I don't know man I'll probably end up signing it, I just don't wanna give in so easy.
    Wooderson: Man it's the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day. Ya know, if it ain't that piece of paper, it's some other choice they're gonna try to make for you. You got to do what Randall "Pink" Floyd wants to do, man. And let me tell you this; the older you do get, the more rules they're gonna TRY to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man. L-I-V-I-N.
    Slater: Man, if you're gonna sign that paper, man, you should throw a little grass in the middle, man, roll it up, and sign the joint, man. That's gonna tell 'em somethin'.


  • Mike: I guess at first I was relieved to get out of the situation, but now there's this level of humiliation setting in that's gonna be with me for fucking ever! And I'm just not gonna just let this be another situation that contributes to me being a little ineffectual nothing the rest of my life, you know?


  • Clint: Hey I'll be watching you Newton. I only came here to do two things man; kick some ass and drink some beer. Looks like we're almost outta beer.


  • Wooderson: Wooderson: Alright, alright, alright.
    Wooderson: Alright, alright, alright.


  • Wooderson: Wooderson: That's what I love about these High School chicks man, I get older, they stay the same age.
    Wooderson: That's what I love about these High School chicks man, I get older, they stay the same age.


  • Darla: Wipe that face of your head, bitch.
    Darla Marks: Wipe that face off your head, bitch.


  • Wooderson: That's what I love about these High School chicks man, I get older, they stay the same age.


  • O'Bannion: Hey Slater give me drugs man!
    Wooderson: ..get some from your mother man...
    Wooderson: Get some from your mother man...


  • Wooderson: Alright,AlrightAlright
    Wooderson: Alright, alright, alright.


  • Slater: Hey man, Pickford's got a doobie were about to burn; you in?
    Don Dawson: Think about it. Yeah.
    Slater: Are you cool man?
    Mitch Kramer: Like how?
    Slater: Okay, man.
    Randy "Pink" Floyd: He was just asking if you get high.
    Mitch Kramer: Yeah, like smoke pot?


  • Wooderson: Hey man, you got a joint?
    Mitch Kramer: Uhh, no; not on me man.
    Wooderson: It'd be a lot cooler if you did.


  • Wooderson: I love those redheads man.


  • Wooderson: "that's why I love them high-school girls, I get older, they stay the same age"
    Wooderson: That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.


  • Darla: LICK ME! All of you!
    Darla: LICK ME! All of you!


  • Randy "Pink" Floyd: Marijuana on one, Reefer on two
    Randy "Pink" Floyd: Marijuana on one. Reefer on two.


  • Benny: mitchy mitchy mitchy mitchy (benny and freinds laugh) were lookin for you pal. your ass will be purple before the day is over!
    Benny: Mitchy. Mitchy, Mitchy, Mitchy. (benny and freinds laugh) We're looking for you pal. Your ass will be purple before the day is over. Have a nice afternoon.
    Benny: Mitchy. Mitchy, Mitchy, Mitchy. (benny and freinds laugh) We're looking for you pal. Your ass will be purple before the day is over.


  • Wooderson: Alright, alright, alright.


  • Carl: I cant wait to get to high school. Where all the girls be puttin out.


  • Wooderson: Hey man you got a joint?
    Mitch Kramer: No man not on me.
    Mitch Kramer: No man, not on me.
    Wooderson: It be a cooler if you did.


  • Mike: I'm just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope.


  • Wooderson: That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I keep getting older, they stay the same age.


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