Diamond Dogs - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Diamond Dogs Reviews

Page 1 of 4
June 13, 2014
really pretty crappy and that's being generous
December 7, 2013
The photography and lighting are well done allowing for a fine visual experience. The acting and script are terrible and make the movie dismal at best. This movie is best watched on the kitchen TV while having your head in the oven to check for the smell of gas, or to lick the grease off the fan whilst it is running. Nibbles: Bake a Dundee Cake.
Super Reviewer
May 21, 2013
Now this Dolph offering is much better and even quite good as Dolph beats his way through many baddies across Mongolia in search of an ancient scroll thing in an 'Indy' type adventure. The film starts with a good illegal street fighting sequence which could of progressed into a really good fight flick (ala 'Bloodsport') but the treasure hunting theme is still fun.

The cast isn't too bad in this romp, Shriver being the best in a curious way as he looks and comes across as Joel Schumacher, for real!!. He also plays the creepy scroll searcher really well and with a neat camp twist. The action is OK but nothing too special where as the location work is reasonable and unique being in Mongolia but the baddies are the same usual shaven headed thugs which is just so dull. Its just acceptable in my opinion but nothing brilliant.
April 25, 2013
Even by basic standards, this Dolph Lundgren movie is poor. The movie starts off really good, with Dolph fighting in a street fight and then some thugs. The movie goes into treasure hunt mode but the story isn't anything special. They talk about deadly booby traps, and there is one lame booby trap in the treasure place. There's a bit of action near the end but its mostly dull. The hovering documentary style camera work is terrible and the movie is so basic it hurts. This one is one you can skip.
½ October 28, 2012
Dolph is too foreign looking to play a rough and tough Brooklyn solider. He did kick some serious ass though as usual.

2009 Movies: 113
August 21, 2012
Ronson (Dolph Lundgren) is an ex-green beret who is now a debt ridden security guard/bare knuckle fighter in Mongolia. When he's hired by an American (William Shriver) to lead an expedition to recover an ancient Buddhist tapestry(encrusted with diamonds, hence the title), Ronson's way out of his debts may get him killed. For starters, we do get to see Dolph kick ass and speak Mongolian and when he's not doing either, the international love machine is charming the ladies. Director Shimon Dotan tries to give the flick an Indiana Jones-ish vibe but, is betrayed by the low budget and his own lethargic pacing. Dotan also has no idea how to put together a decent action scene, with some lethargic staging and some really awful camera shots and adding the fact that he doesn't seem to feel anyone should ever take cover during a gunfight. Russian thugs and ancient curses aside, Dotan is the real danger to Dolph and Co. And as for Lundgren, Dolph tries hard to look cool during the weak proceedings but, even he can only do so much. The acting overall is pretty shabby and the lazy camera work doesn't even take advantage of the scenery. Also stars Lundgren's Expendables 2 costar Nan Yu, who basically is there to look pretty and be rescued by Dolph. For Dolph Lundgren purists only.
August 15, 2011
So this broke dude helps find a Tangka and then people get killed. Nothing like a Crackle movie to pass the time.
½ September 12, 2010
Pretty dull to be honest, Dolph Lundgren kicking ass are the only scenes worth watching in the film.
½ June 18, 2010
Dolph Lundgren is the coolest but the movie was unfortunately rather lame;-)
½ April 27, 2010
Low budget movies dont bother me one jot, that is unless the ideas in the movie scream for a larger budget and then it becames a niggle. Diamond Dogs has a plot that Indiana Jones wouldnt say no to, it has tapestry that everyone is after, mysterious curses and the odd punch-up. But it doesnt have that sort of budget but tries hard anyhow. There's no real excitement to be had as it plods along and there's a big problem if your attention is taken off the plot and absorbed by the cartoon dalmations that are etched on Dolph's land rover's seat covers, like what the fuck is that all about?
½ January 13, 2010
I just watched this film last night. I have to say that i didn't expect much from this movie anyway. Dolph Lundgren is a type casted action hero, with little to know acting skill. Diamond Dogs is just another direct to dvd action movie release, that's more about the sensless violence than it's overall plot. Most of the new millennium releases from Lundgren have him narrating a plot, or acting very calm. I personally don't know what he is trying to accomplish. Maybe he's going for a more tranquil tone. Whatever it is, i dont think it makes his movies any better. This film focused on a mission where Dolph has to get this ancient artifact before the bad guys do. A plot like that is boring to say the least, because it's been used countless times. You know when i see that an action movie has been released directly to video, i obviouslly think no plot. Dolph has been doing this stuff for over 20 years. I give him props for releasing a movie approximately every year but everyone of them are bad. Diamond Dogs, has a bad script, terrible acting, and cinematography that gets me a little nautious. It was just a film trying to look good, but didn't work out so well. Sorry Dolph. I here he is going to be in Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables, so let's see how that goes.
½ December 18, 2009
Lundgren still hasn't fixed his acting problems yet and it certainly doesn't help when he is surrounded by rank amateurs. The Chinese actresses are very good though and the film is culturally accurate and respectful of the Inner Mongolian culture. There were rumors of a follow up but I don't think it is going to happen and its a good thing.
½ December 12, 2009
Diamond Dogs is awfuly bad movie, nothing interesting just waste of time
November 9, 2009
Hmmm, not sure what to say about this one, love Dolph, film is ok, not a must see i'm afraid
½ October 20, 2009
This is pretty bad stuff only just bearable because of big dolph. every other actor in this is so bad its as if they've never acted before. most prob havnt as it looks like this was filmed on a camcorder on a hill for the majority of it. the actions awful apart from big dolphs stuff. im kinda baffled how they got him in the 1st place??
this isnt even b grade stuff more like d, very disapointing.
Super Reviewer
October 14, 2009
Could of been better if it was bigger budget and was better excuted. But manages to be a decently entertaining action-adventure of the independent film world.
½ September 20, 2009
Dolph is too foreign looking to play a rough and tough Brooklyn solider. He did kick some serious ass though as usual.

2009 Movies: 113
September 13, 2009
The cover of this DVD promised Dolph bare chested with a bullet belt, and at least one explosion going off in the background. I could have forgiven this false advertising if the actual film had been in any way entertaining, but sadly it was not to be.
Page 1 of 4