Die You Zombie Bastards Reviews
made, I will tell them about Die You Zombie Bastards! - an ambitiously
bad indie horror flick packed full of every single bad idea everyone on
set could think of. An involved and needlessly complicated script tells
a story so completely amateurish and grade school that it simply can't
be funny. Lead Tim Gerstmar deliberately overacts which is always a bad
idea for a non-actor. I understand they're taking delight in being
cheesy and stupid, but it is just too much to handle. Unless you are a
huge fan of independent cinema, or actually had a part in making this,
I can't imagine liking it. This reminds me of films I made with my
friends on a camcorder when we were in high school. I go back and can
barely watch those, and I was in them. This is like watching those
films, but without the personal connections. While I appreciate this
film took 5 years to make, and the editing and soundtrack are
respectable, it can't make up for the complete lack of humor, horror,
or anything worthwhile. The only thing I could say is that there are
plenty of boobies... but most of them aren't very good, well they're
good, but it doesn't seem to help matters much. Though I'm not a fan of
rating 10s or 1s.... this one really is a waste of your eyesight -
"Do you speak English?"
(at the bottom of the screen) "No, but we have subtitles."
But even the smattering of laughs, and the copious amount of rather impressive gratuitous nudity wasn't enough to make this worth watching. Video stores and Netflix are -flooded- with zombie films; there's no good reason to waste your time on this one.
This retarded shit was no exception. And I'm a fan of bad movies.
My girl friend and I rented it, she put it in the dvd player. As I entered the room I said "this sounds promising" she replied "I haven't even pressed play yet." By the time it was over still laughing she said "That is my new favorite movie."
As the hero scampers around for some reason I could help but think "Artie! the strongest man in the world."
Avoid if you're not planning on being intoxicated before watching it.