Easy A - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Easy A Quotes

  • Olive Penderghast: I was used to being by myself, but I had never felt more alone.


  • Olive Penderghast: I told everyone! Well, actually I told one person, but you know how these things work. It's like wildfire.


  • Mrs. Griffith: Here you go. I just don't want this *thing* you're going through to define your life. Olive, do what you got to do; let your freak flab fly. Just make sure you have an exit strategy.


  • Dill: Is everything alright? It sounds like you're having sex in here; which I know can't be true due to the fact that you have a homosexual boyfriend.


  • Gossipy Girl: Oh my God, did you hear that Brandon ran away from home? Yeah. Totally. He left his parents a note that said: 'Eff you, I'm gay.'And then he skipped town with a big, hulking black guy!


  • Dill: I'd take a bullet for you, you know that. Right between the eyes. I would slit my throat rather than say something to someone that you didn't want me to say!


  • Olive Penderghast: I'm swell, guy-I've-never-laid-eyes-on-before. Thanks for asking.


  • Rhiannon: No, no! Not that one. The one where you got suspended for calling Nina Howell a dick and punched her in the left tit.


  • Marianne: I just hope for your sake you had the good sense to use protection.
    Olive Penderghast: Why? Your parents didn't.


  • Rosemary: You know, I dated a homosexual once. Actually I dated him for a long time.
    Olive Penderghast: Oh god, please don't tell me you married and had two kids with him.


  • Rhiannon: Just because you lost your virginity doesn't mean you can go around throwing your cat at everybody!


  • Olive Penderghast: I could have chlamydia. I have been... whoring around a lot.
    Mrs. Griffith: No, honey. No you haven't. Because a real whore can't even admit it to herself, let alone another person.


  • Olive Penderghast: I don't think letting Peter Hedlin motorboat you behind a Bed, Bath, and Beyond really makes you a super slut.


  • Micah's Mom: Who have you been sleeping with? You tell me right now or I will kill you!


  • Olive Penderghast: Looks like someone's practicing the mundane activity she'll be saddled with the rest of her pathetic life.


  • Olive Penderghast: Relax. Jesus. What is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? What do you think I have down there? A gnome?


  • Olive Penderghast: Perhaps you should get a wardrobe, you abominable twot.


  • Rhiannon: George is not a sexy name. George is like what you name your teddy bear, not the name you wanna scream out during climax.


  • Mrs. Griffith: I'm the guidance counselor; I should know all the students, especially the ones that dress like prostitutes.


  • Rhiannon: You're being pretty cavalier about this. Aren't you supposed to be eternally in love with him and shit?
    Olive Penderghast: Yes... I believe so, if I was the Gossip Girl in Sweet Valley of the Travelling Pants.


  • Mr. Griffith: I don't know what your generation's fascination is with documenting your every thought... but I can assure you, they're not all diamonds. "Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof." Who gives a rat's ass?
    Mr. Griffith: I don't know what your generation's fascination is with documenting your every thought... but I can assure you, they're not all diamonds. 'Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof.' Who gives a rat's ass?


  • Principal Gibbons: This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus.


  • Rosemary: I had a similar situation when I was your age. I had a horrible reputation.
    Olive Penderghast: Why?
    Rosemary: Because I slept with a whole bunch of people. Mostly guys.
    Olive Penderghast: Mom!


  • Marianne: Seems as if someone's on a downward spiral.


  • Olive Penderghast: So it was time to put an end to this once and for all by telling my side of the story. And that's why I decided to do this webcast. So here we go. Part Five: Not with a fizzle, but with a bang.


  • Olive Penderghast: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. I think that's how you're supposed to start these things.I'm only going on what I've seen in the movies. Where do I even start? I've been pretending to be a - how would one phrase it in Catholic words? A harlot. It's not like I've actually been doing the things that people are saying I'm doing, but - then again - I'm not denying them, so I've just been wondering: is that wrong? It was just that a lot of people had been asking me to do things and I thought it was okay, because it wasn't real. It was make-believe and no one was getting hurt. But a lot of people hate me now. [Tearing up] I kind of hate me, too. I could be wrong, but aren't you supposed to say something or ask mequestions. Tell me to say 'Hail Marys'? Hello?


  • Olive Penderghast: Ironically, we were studying "The Scarlet Letter", but isn't that always the way? The books you read in class always seems to have a strong connection with whatever angsty adolescent drama is being recounted. I consider this. Except for "Huckleberry Finn", 'cause I don't know any teenage boys who have ever run away with a big, hulking black guy.
    Olive Penderghast: Ironically, we were studying "The Scarlet Letter", but isn't that always the way? The books you read in class always seems to have a strong connection with whatever angsty adolescent drama is being recounted. I consider this. Except for 'Huckleberry Finn', 'cause I don't know any teenage boys who have ever run away with a big, hulking black guy.


  • Olive Penderghast: I started piling on lie after lie. It was like setting up Jenga.


  • Olive Penderghast: Let me just begin by saying that there are two sides to every story. This is my side, the right one.


  • Rosemary: Not to mention how have you been dressing this past few day. No judgement, but you kind of look like striper
    Rosemary: Not to mention how have you been dressing this past few day. No judgement, but you kind of look like striper.
    Olive Penderghast: Mom!
    Dill: A high-end stripper, for governors or athletes.


  • Olive Penderghast: Welcome. This is where the magic happens. And as we all know, by "magic" I mean "nothing."
    Olive Penderghast: Welcome. This is where the magic happens. And as we all know, by 'magic' I mean 'nothing.'


  • Woodchuck Todd: Notoriety for whatever reason, never seems to benefit the noted, only the 'notees'.


  • Woodchuck Todd: Hey Olive! You left your glass slipper at the party the other night.
    Olive Penderghast: Yea and I got pumpkin all over my dress too. C'est La Vie.
    Woodchuck Todd: La Vie.
    Olive Penderghast: Nice! Solid joke.


  • Woodchuck Todd: Screw all these people, Olive!
    Olive Penderghast: Haven't you heard? I already did.


  • Olive Penderghast: Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.


  • Olive Penderghast: Relax. Jesus. What is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? What do you think I have down there? A gnome?


  • Olive Penderghast: That's the one thing that trumps religion... capitalism.


  • Brandon: Is there an Olive here?
    Rosemary: There's a whole jar of them in the fridge!


  • Marianne: There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.
    Olive Penderghast: Tom Cruise?


  • Marianne: Perhaps you should sew an A on your wardrobe, you abominable twit.
    Olive Penderghast: Perhaps you should GET a wardrobe, you abominable twat.


  • Olive Penderghast: Oooooh, BURN!


  • Woodchuck Todd: Hey Olive.
    Olive Penderghast: Oh my God! The illusion is shattered! This is exactly why they put you in the gas chamber if you take your head off at Disney World.
    Woodchuck Todd: Actually I think they just, you know, they fire you. You're thinking of Disneyland. Disney World is much more liberal.
    Olive Penderghast: Oh yeah! I always forget Disney World went blue in the last election.


  • Olive Penderghast: If there's one thing worse than chlamydia, it's Florida.


  • Olive Penderghast: What better way to share my private thoughts than to broadcast them on the internet?


  • Woodchuck Todd: You okay?
    Olive Penderghast: I'm awesome, I'm awesome.
    Woodchuck Todd: Screw all these people.
    Olive Penderghast: Haven't you heard? I already did.


  • Olive Penderghast: I just have something in my eye. Like a twig, or a branch.


  • Olive Penderghast: Oh my god! I'm not judging you or anything - but, oh my god!


  • Rhiannon: There's no such thing as a sexy George.


  • Dill: The family member of the week gets to pick the movie
    Olive Penderghast: You get family member of the week every week.
    Rosemary: And there's a reason for that.
    Olive Penderghast: Yeah, you pick family member of the week!
    Rosemary: Are you accusing me of nepotism?


  • Pastor: Just so we are clear, it's there. Right below our feet right above the Orient. It's there.


  • Rosemary: Olive, sweetie! There's a young manhere to see you. He said something about asking for your hand in marriage!
    Olive Penderghast: Oh happy day Mama! I thought I was going to have to spend my dowry on booze and pills to numb the loneliness. A gentleman caller!


  • Dill: I am so happy with this decision!


  • Mr. Griffith: Rhiannon, Olive, go hit the book. They don't hit back. Also, hugs not drugs. Mess with the bull, get the horns. And any other cliches you can come up with.


  • Marianne: Jesus tells us to love everyone, even the whores and the homosexuals. But it's so hard, it's so hard because they keep doing it, over and over again.


  • Woodchuck Todd: Screw all these people, Olive!
    Olive Penderghast: Haven't you heard? I already did.


  • Olive Penderghast: I might even lose my virginity to him. I don't know when will it happen. You know, maybe in five minutes, or tonight, or sixth months from now, or maybe on the night of our wedding. But the really amazing this is, it is nobody's goddamn business.


  • Brandon: Is there an Olive here?
    Rosemary: There's a whole jar of them in the fridge!


  • Rosemary: Any friend of Olive's is a friend of our daughters, come on in.
    Rosemary: Any friend of Olive's is a friend of my daughter.


  • Marianne: There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.
    Olive Penderghast: Tom Cruise?


  • Woodchuck Todd: Screw all these people, Olive!
    Olive Penderghast: Haven't you heard? I already did.


  • Olive Penderghast: Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.


  • Olive Penderghast: Hi, I'm looking for the Bible.
    Clerk: Oh, that's in the best sellers... right next to Twilight.


  • Olive Penderghast: I might lost my virginity to him, maybe tonight, in 6 months or on our wedding night. who knows, but it's nobody's business
    Olive Penderghast: I might even lose my virginity to him. I don't know when will it happen. You know, maybe in five minutes, or tonight, or sixth months from now, or maybe on the night of our wedding. But the really amazing this is, it is nobody's goddamn business.


  • Olive Penderghast: (sobbing) I'm awesome , A for awesome
    Olive Penderghast: [sobbing] I'm awesome, A is for Awesome.


  • Dill: Let's 'Bucket List' this bitch
    Dill: Okay, let's 'Bucket List' this bitch!


  • Olive Penderghast: So they got Rhiannon, never underestimate the power of extremists such as Marianne!
    Olive Penderghast: So they got Rhiannon. Never under estimate the power of extremists like Marianne.


  • Woodchuck Todd: Screw all these people, Olive.
    Olive Penderghast: Haven't you heard? I already did.


  • Olive Penderghast: That's the one thing that trumps religion... capitalism.


  • Brandon: Is there an Olive here?
    Rosemary: There's a whole jar of them in the fridge!


  • Marianne: There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.
    Olive Penderghast: Tom Cruise?


  • Marianne: Seems as if someone's on a downward spiral.
    Marianne: Looks like someone's on a downward spiral. [stapling papers]
    Olive Penderghast: Seems as if someone's practicing the mundane activity she'll be saddled with the rest of her pathetic life.
    Olive Penderghast: Looks like someone's practicing the mundane activity she'll be saddled with the rest of her pathetic life.


  • Rhiannon: You're being pretty cavalier about this. Aren't you supposed to be eternally in love with him and shit??
    Rhiannon: You're being pretty cavalier about this. Aren't you supposed to be eternally in love with him and shit?
    Olive Penderghast: Yes... I believe so, if I was the Gossip Girl in Sweet Valley of the Traveling Pants.
    Olive Penderghast: Yes. I believe so, if I was the Gossip Girl in Sweet Valley of the Traveling Pants.


  • Olive Penderghast: Oh happy day mama! Oh I thought I was gonna have to spend my dowry on booze and pills to numb the loneliness! A gentleman caller HORAY!
    Olive Penderghast: Oh happy day mama! Oh I thought I was gonna have to spend my dowry on booze and pills to numb the loneliness! A gentleman caller. Hooray!


  • Olive Penderghast: Ironically, we were studying 'The Scarlet Letter'. Now isn't that always the way. The books you read in class always seem to have some strong connection with whatever anxie-adolecent drama is going on. Except for Huckleberry Finn. 'Caus i don't know any teenage boy who ever runaway with a big hawking blackeye.


  • Dill: [to his adopted son] Where are you from originally?


  • Nina: "Perhaps you should embroider a red "A" on your wardrobe, you abominable tramp."
    Nina: Perhaps you should embroider a red "A" on your wardrobe, you abominable tramp.
    Olive Penderghast: "Perhaps you should get a wardrobe you abominable twat."
    Olive Penderghast: Perhaps you should get a wardrobe you abominable twat.


  • Rhiannon: I liked Todd much better when he was topless...
    Olive Penderghast: Yeah, but even dressed as a woodchuck I still fantasise about him


  • Olive Penderghast: If he's soooo smart, why is your boyfriend 22 years old and still in high school?
    Marianne: Because Olive...it's his choice.
    Marianne: Because, Olive, it's his choice.
    Olive Penderghast: Oh really? His choice? He just *wants* to be repeating his senior year for the fourth time because he cant pass a single test?
    Olive Penderghast: Oh really? His choice? He just *wants* to be repeating his senior year for the fourth time because he can't pass a single test?
    Marianne: No Silly(points upward) His. His with a capital H, if the good lord wanted Micah to graduate, He would have given him the right answers.
    Marianne: No, Silly, (points upward) His. His with a capital H, if the good lord wanted Micah to graduate, He would have given him the right answers.
    Olive Penderghast: (laughs) Im sorry. but i mean really you gotta be shittin' me woman!
    Olive Penderghast: (laughs) I'm sorry. but i mean really you gotta be shittin' me woman!


  • Rosemary: I had a similar situation when I was your age. I had a terrible reputation.
    Olive Penderghast: Why?
    Rosemary: Because I slept with a whole bunch of people.....Mostly guys.
    Olive Penderghast: MOM!!


  • Brandon: Do you want to go out with me?
    Olive Penderghast: Brandon...just a couple of hours ago you told me you were gay.
    Brandon: You said I should pretend to be straight.
    Olive Penderghast: I didn't mean with me!!
    Brandon: I am tormented everyday at school. Just one good imaginary fling.


  • Marianne: There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecencies.
    Olive Penderghast: Tom Cruise?


  • Chip: It doesn't matter......I'm adopted.
    Dill: OMIGOD!!! Who told you!?!?!!


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