Employee of the Month - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Employee of the Month Quotes

  • Russell: True. I knew a guy in upper management, man, went crazy. Strapped one of those things around his hairy ballsack, ran out in the parking lot and blew a three dollar Hawaiian wonder cooler all over the place.
    Russell: True. I knew a guy in upper management. Man went crazy. Strapped one of those things around his hairy ballsack, ran out in the parking lot, and blew a three dollar Hawaiian wonder cooler all over the place.


  • Jorge: I love ah-nall, who's ah-nall?
    Vince Downey: It's ANAL, dumbass!


  • Iqbal: Do it for pride, the rest will come... including the girl.


  • Lon: Wow, that's gotta hurt. I mean, he's always doin' that to you. Stealing your thunder. You remember the red head? In gardening? Boinked her behind the monkey grass. And the asian in automotive? Did her on a pile of carburetors. Oh, and the blonde in frozen foods, with the... Doink! Doink! Turkeys done! Remember her?


  • Vince Downey: Well, I guess I can get a little anal...


  • Vince Downey: What are you doing? There are no weapons in this mission. I will not do time for you. I will roll over on you.


  • Dirk: Well thank you. May I help you find your way to your car?
    Grumpy Lady: I know where it is. Idiot.


  • Zack Bradley: Well, good luck murdering your husband.


  • Russell: Jesus Christ. Where the hell are we, Chuck E. Cheese-istian?
    Russell: Jesus Christ. Where the hell are we, Chuck E. Cheese-istan?


  • Granny: Don't forget to wash your balls.


  • Attrative Woman (Eyeglasses): Are you staring at my breasts?
    Lon: I don't know.


  • Russell: Check it out guy, he's the alpha male of the store... chicks always go after the alpha male, they're like lions... kings of the desert. And you, you're just a little tiny field mouse dangling in the teeth of the lion while he's banging your chick. Oh wait a minute... box boy, you're like the little hairy nutsack on the little hairy field mouse swinging back and forth while he's banging your chick.


  • Vince Downey: This is an '81 Honda! How dare you!


  • Russell: You're like the drummer from REO Speedwagon. Nobody knows who you are.


  • Granny: Zacky! What's my pin number?
    Zack Bradley: 1234 Grandma, now we have to change it again!


  • Russell: Oh yeah, that picture goes up on the wall she slides into the sack faster than a singed Koala bear looking for an all night burn center.


  • Zack Bradley: We might be different on the outside, but we're all pink on the inside.
    Vince Downey: That's right, we're pink like vaginas.


  • Vince Downey: Is your name Semi because you're the size of a huge Mack truck or because you're semi-retarded?
    Serri: I don't know.


  • Vince Downey: Do you know what this is?
    Zack Bradley: Yes, that's a 10 Times larger than life replica of your penis.
    Vince Downey: Oh that's hal-arious, look Zack I know you don't care about your job, but i do.
    Zack Bradley: And i want to thank you for caring about by job really i do.
    Vince Downey: My Job, jerkoff.


  • Glen Ross: If Vince gets to the magic 18 he will be put on the fast track to management and win this Brand Newish 2005 Chevy Malibu
    Glen Ross: If Vince gets to the magic 18 he will be put on the fast track to management and win this Brand Newish 2005 Chevy Malibu.


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