The Even Stevens Movie Quotes

  • Miles McDermott: Relax OK, she's not gonna hurt him
    Miles McDermott: Relax okay, she's not gonna hurt him.
    Ren Stevens: I'm gonna hurt you Lewis
    Ren Stevens: I'm gonna hurt you Lewis.


  • Miles McDermott: I think the best thing for you to do right now is to get away from this area immediately.
    Eileen Stevens: What about our luggage?
    Miles McDermott: Well, offically, it's cursed. So touching it would just make things worse.
    Ren Stevens: And where are we supposed to live?


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: Corn Snacky?


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: [After the palace is destroyed] Oh, just perfect.


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: [Repeated line] AAAAAHHHH!!


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: [Upon spotting a lever in the palace while sitting in the throne] Footrest. Nice touch.


  • Ren Stevens: [Crying] I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!!!!
    Ren Stevens: [Crying] I WANNA GO HOME!


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: Beans, hold me. [Beans holds him]


  • Bernard "Beans" Aranguren: Wanna go skinny-dipping?


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: [Ren is mad] Beans, I think we should stay low for a while, alright? [Beans is gone] Beans?


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: Beans, your lack of listening skills has finally paid off!


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: Hey, Ren.
    Ren Stevens: I really liked Mootai, but you just couldn't stand to see me happy!
    Louis Anthony Stevens: Uh, Ren, what are you talking about?
    Ren Stevens: You ruined my life.
    Louis Anthony Stevens: Uh, when?
    Ren Stevens: The day you were born.


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: GOTCHA! WOOOO HOOOOO!


  • Lance LeBow: Miles McDermott, this is Lance LeBow! I just dropped in to say Gotcha! on your own show!


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: What?
    Ren Stevens: Oh, I'll show you what! [Tries to get him, bjut the family holds her back]
    Eileen Stevens: ENOUGH! [Everyone stops] Today is a happy day! We should all be happy!


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: Time to release confetti.
    Bernard "Beans" Aranguren: Confetti? I thought you said... [Spaghetti bursts out of the beach ball and falls on everyone] Spaghetti.


  • Bernard "Beans" Aranguren: Let me play with that.
    Louis Anthony Stevens: Beans, this is not a toy! Alright? This is my job. This is what I do.


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: "Forbidden Chamber of Mystery." "Do not open." Ha! Yeah, right. [Kicks the door open]
    Louis Anthony Stevens: 'Forbidden Chamber of Mystery.' 'Do not open.' Ha! Yeah, right. [kicks the door open]


  • Bernard "Beans" Aranguren: Um, if you're not gonna finish that... [Takes Ren's slug and eats it]
    Bernard "Beans" Aranguren: Um, if you're not gonna finish that... [takes Ren's slug and eats it]
    Ren Stevens: Ew!


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: Ren, want my slug?
    Ren Stevens: Louis!


  • Louis Anthony Stevens: I thought it was a footrest! I didn't know it was a house collapser!


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