Five Easy Pieces - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Five Easy Pieces Quotes

  • Robert Eroica Dupea: I'd like a, uh, plain omelette, uh, no potatoes, tomatoes instead, a cup of coffee, and wheat toast.
    Waitress: No substitutions.
    Robert Eroica Dupea: What do you mean? You don't have any tomatoes?
    Waitress: Only what's on the menu. You can have a number two - a plain omelette. It comes with cottage fries and rolls.
    Robert Eroica Dupea: Yeah, I know what it comes with, but it's not what I want.
    Waitress: Well, I'll come back when you make up your mind.

  • Palm Apodaca: Fantastic that you could figure that all out and lie that down on her so you could come up with a way to get your toast. Fantastic!
    Robert Eroica Dupea: Yeah, well, I didn't get it, did I?
    Palm Apodaca: No, but it was very clever. I would have just punched her out.

  • Palm Apodaca: Hey, follow that truck. They know the best places to stop.
    Rayette Dipesto: That's an old maid's tale.
    Palm Apodaca: Bullshit! Truck drivers are the only ones that know the best places to stop on the road.
    Rayette Dipesto: Salesmen and cops are the ones. If you'd ever waitressed, honey, you'd know that.
    Palm Apodaca: Don't call me honey, mac.
    Rayette Dipesto: Don't call me mac, honey.

  • Robert Eroica Dupea: If you wouldn't open your mouth, everything would be just fine.

  • Rayette Dipesto: That was real good, wasn't it? I finally did it!
    Robert Eroica Dupea: Great. You throw the big Z's for 19 frames, and then you throw a strike on the last ball of a losing game. Wonderful. Just wonderful.

  • Robert Eroica Dupea: Your, your little friend's real, real sharp. Uh, I don't, uh, I don't wear the wig on TV because if you're gonna be out there in front of two and a half million people, you've got to be sincere. I mean, I like to wear it when I'm in bowling alleys and slipping around, stuff like that. I think it gives me a little class. What do you think?

  • Robert Eroica Dupea: What are you doing screwing around with all this crap?
    Catherine Van Ost: I do not find your language very charming.
    Robert Eroica Dupea: It isn't. It's direct.
    Catherine Van Ost: I'd like you to leave so that I can take a bath. Is that direct?

  • Palm Apodaca: Disposal. What's that but more crap? I've never seen such crap.

  • Palm Apodaca: I had to leave this place because I got depressed seeing all the crap. And the thing is, they're making more crap, you know? They got so many stores and stuff and junk full of crap I can't believe it.
    Robert Eroica Dupea: Who?
    Palm Apodaca: Who? Man, that's who. Pretty soon there won't be any room for man. They're selling more crap that people go and buy than you can imagine. Crap.

  • Robert Eroica Dupea: Where do you get the ass to tell anybody anything about class, or who the hell's got it, or what she typifies? You shouldn't even be in the same room with her, you pompous celibate... You're totally full of shit! You're all full of shit.

  • Robert Eroica Dupea: You're just gonna sit here?
    Rayette Dipesto: Yes.
    Robert Eroica Dupea: Okay. I hope no one hits on you.
    Rayette Dipesto: I hope they do.

  • Palm Apodaca: You know, I read where they, uh, invented this car that runs on, ummm... that runs on, ummm... when you boil water?
    Terry Grouse: Steam.
    Palm Apodaca: Right, steam. A car that you could ride around in and not cause a stink. But do you know they will not even let us have it? Can you believe it? Why? Man! He likes to create a stink! I mean, I've seen filth that you wouldn't believe. Ugh! What a stink! I don't even want to talk about it.

  • Rayette Dipesto: I'm gonna play it again.
    Robert Eroica Dupea: You play that thing one more time, I'm gonna melt it down into hairspray.
    Rayette Dipesto: Let me play the other side then.
    Robert Eroica Dupea: No, Rayette, it's not a question of sides. It's a question of musical integrity.

  • Robert Eroica Dupea: Ants! Why don't we all line up like a goddamned bunch of ants! Its the most beautiful part of the day!

  • Robert Eroica Dupea: It's ridiculous. I'm sittin' here listening to some cracker *asshole* lives in a trailer park compare his life to mine. Keep on tellin' me about the good life, Elton, because it makes me puke.

  • Catherine Van Ost: You're a strange person, Robert. I mean, what will you come to? If a person has no love for himself, no respect for himself, no love of his friends, family, work, something - how can he ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?

  • Robert Eroica Dupea: I don't know if you'd be particularly interested in hearing anything about me. My life, I mean... Most of it doesn't add up to much that I could relate as a way of life that you'd approve of... I'd like to be able to tell you why, but I don't really... I mean, I move around a lot because things tend to get bad when I stay. And I'm looking... for auspicious beginnings, I guess... I'm trying to, you know, imagine your half of this conversation... My feeling is, that if you could talk, we probably wouldn't be talking. That's pretty much how it got to be before... I left... Are you all right? I don't know what to say... Tita suggested that we try to... I don't know. I think that she... seems to feel we've got... some understanding to reach... She totally denies the fact that we were never that comfortable with each other to begin with... The best that I can do, is apologize. We both know that I was never really that good at it, anyway... [sobbing] I'm sorry it didn't work out.

  • Palm Apodaca: People. Animals are not like that. They're always cleaning themselves. Did you ever see, umm... pigeons? Well, he's always picking on himself and his friends. They're always picking bugs out of their hair all the time. Monkeys too. Except they do something out in the open that I don't go for.

  • Robert Eroica Dupea: Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.
    Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
    Robert Eroica Dupea: I want you to hold it between your knees.

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