Frozen Assets - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Frozen Assets Reviews

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July 18, 2014
FROZEN ASSETS is one of the worst movies ever made. This is a movie of such low quality and appalling stupidity that your brain might hemmorage. I'm not kidding- there isn't a molecule of intelligence in this film. George T. Miller, the man who directed the totally insipid ZEUS AND ROXANNE, directed this. He is without a doubt one of the laziest and most cynical people working in the film industry.

No one, not even Stanley Kubrick could have imagined how bad this film is. It's bad on a god-like scale. Nothing makes sense, not even lines of dialogue. The script can't even coherently put together a simple conversation. Nobody on this suicide mission of a movie could have cared to try to make this into an entertaining experience. If you know anyone who sat through this movie and thought it was entertaining- its most likely they have either suffered an almost total loss of self-respect or that they have an IQ that is of the level of retardation.

FROZEN ASSETS is not only one of the worst movies I've ever seen (certainly top 5) it is certainly THE worst comedy I've ever seen. This is an apocalypse of filmmaking that has to be seen the same way as if you were witnessing a real apocalypse taking place- it really is in a class of its own. I am so shocked and angry at the total creative and intellectual bankruptcy of this film. To call it an abysmal film would be a compliment of the highest order.
March 30, 2014
Adult humor without the nudity. I loved it
Super Reviewer
½ January 23, 2011
A movie about some people trying to run a sperm bank using extraordinary measures. This movie was a bit cheesy at times but I also found it to be charming and funny.
November 15, 2009
It has the feel of a kids movie, but is grossly about sperm donation and sex. I've always considered movies that bleak out humanity and emotion in exchange for extreme gore or bleakness are the worst movies ever made, but "Frozen Assets" wins that title as a "comedy".
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