Futuresport (Future Sport) Reviews
So, to start, the movie had a pretty far-fetched premise. I'm sure a decent story about replacing war with a game could be told, but this sure isn't it. This really seemed like it was written by high schoolers. There's not much point in getting into the mediocre acting, dull action scenes, or the hoverboards blatantly stolen (but not executed as well) from Back to the Future, Part II.
The big question with this one is: Is it the good-bad type of bad movie? If you're into sports movies, definitely. If not, maybe.
So goes the minuscule idea behind Futuresport and the results are anything but awesome. This dreadfully cheap looking excuse for a movie might have had a fighting chance were it not some kiddie friendly skateboarding game involved but as it is, this is a total waste of time.
Boring doesn't even begin to cover Futuresport. Dean Cain shows just why his post Superman career has been so awful with another bland performance as the ego driven star of the game Futuresport who puts together a rough and tough bunch to take on some Haiwain liberation front. It sounds bollocks, it is bollocks.
Wesley Snipes dons a bad wig and talks in a drawling, thoroughly bored voice as the creator of the game which was meant to solve problems on the streets. He at least knows he's been in better movies.
The sets are computer generated but look like they were done from the same paint box as early 90s kids show Knightmare and the action sequences are non-existent. Rather than actually showing Vanessa Williams rescue scene, it's merely just cut out.
Futuresport is actually painful to sit through. Tired, dull, lifeless and downright crap!
The most annoying thing about this movie was pairing up Vanessa Williams and Dean Cain. If ever a couple looked less compatible on screen it was these too. The only thing worse might have been if they cast Donald Sutherland and Teri Hatcher.
I'm so glad I didn't pay to watch this movie.
It was awful, of course, but that's not what I want to write about.
Here's the thing that bothered me the most; you see, if you're in the future, it is not the future, it is the present. Accordingly, when one invents a game in the future, say a game resembling a cross between handball and basketball, only played on levitating skateboards with an electrified ball, one would not call it "Futuresport" because, again, in the future the future is the present, and they would be no more cognizant of their being in the future from the vantage-point of a person in 2008 then I am cognizant of my futuristic status in comparison to some poor fellow named Kevin Leeson in 1994. I suspect the game's inventor (Wesley Snipes) would call it "lever-ball" or"present-daysport" or something.
Maybe it's a stupid complaint, but I just couldn't get past all these people talking about Futuresport this and Futuresport that and "have you forgotten the true meaning of Futuresport?" And if one can't get past that, one cannot have the necessary level of suspension of disbelief to accept the rest of movie. Oh! And if you're going to get dinged by the ratings board for having nudity in a film, why not go all out, instead of just one brief blurry shot? The film could have held my interest much more effectively if Vanessa Williams had been naked the whole time. She could have been a reporter for, I don't know, "The Future Naked News Broadcasting System."
Speaking of which, I'm hungry. I think I'll have a "Future-sandwich."
Kevin Factor: Since Mr. Leeson was Dean Cain's stunt-double in the skateboarding scenes, he has probably already scene this film.