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  • Kevin: Oye, Carter! Not exactly an oil painting is she?
    Linda: No, she's cuddly. And until a few seconds ago, you assumed that because I'm a fat girl and instead of some slim oil painting that I'd be gagging for a quick on in the doorways of Toys R Us. I can just imagine sex with you. Pathetic fumbling to find the bra strap, the slobbery kisses, belching into some poor girl's mouth because you've had too much chile sauce on your kabob. And then the main event, which is either over in seconds or not at all because you're too fuckin pissed.

  • Linda: He's sex on legs.

  • Jessica: Which piece are you learning?
    Wendy: Romeo, Romeo. Cover me in honey and suck it off with a straw.
    Jessica: What?
    Wendy: [Looking at John Dixon] God, he's perfect.
    Jessica: Fancy him, do you?
    Wendy: He can pass me his baton any day. [the rests of the girls giggles]

  • John Dixon: What time your parents due back?
    Steven Carter: [from down stairs] Oh their back. They're down here with me.
    John Dixon: [fumbles to get his pants on] Shit! Shit! Shit ! Shit!
    Steven Carter: Mum says if you make an honest man out of me, she'll help me choose the curtains.
    John Dixon: [sighs in relief] Wanker! You wanker!

  • Linda: Kevin Granger, he thinks just because he's got a prick that he's God's gift to women-kind!

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