G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Reviews

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Simon Miraudo
October 27, 2010
Here comes GI Joe, a film so loud and dumb it makes Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen look like a Mike Leigh docudrama.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
Mike Barnard
Future Movies UK
August 7, 2009
If G. I. Joe was a Saturday morning television cartoon lasting 45 minutes it would be far more palatable, but as a full-length feature film it's too much of a no-brainer.
Full Review | Original Score: 5/10
Adam Tobias
Watertown Daily Times
August 14, 2009
So, now you know, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is about as uncomfortable to sit through as running in a marathon with a bad case of the trots - and knowing is half the battle.
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5
Gina Carbone
Seacoast Newspapers (NH/Maine)
August 8, 2009
Worst 'blockbuster' of the summer.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
Top Critic
Roger Moore
Orlando Sentinel
August 7, 2009
It's dumb. It's digital. It's derivative. This Joe, scripted at a toy-selling TV-cartoon level, is a non-stop shoot-em-up edited to induce seizures.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
Sam Bathe
Fan The Fire
April 15, 2010
G.I. Joe: Rise Of Cobra is a very throwaway experience, likely to be forgotten by the film world very quickly.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
Top Critic
Roger Ebert
Chicago Sun-Times
August 9, 2009
It is sure to be enjoyed by those whose movie appreciation is defined by the ability to discern that moving pictures and sound are being employed to depict violence.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
Top Critic
James Berardinelli
August 11, 2009
There's an expectation that the audience will be invested in the relationship between Duke and Ana, but the poor writing and lack of chemistry between the principals fails to sell the romance as anything more substantial than a weak plot element.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
Top Critic
Michael Phillips
Chicago Tribune
August 14, 2009
[Director] Sommers did the first two chaotic Mummy remakes; those play like Tender Mercies compared to this one.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
Simon Foster
August 9, 2010
As is usually the case, the seething bad guys make for far more "interesting" onscreen characters than the heroes.
David Foucher
EDGE Boston
August 12, 2009
The real reason Paramount Pictures didn't screen "G.I. Joe" for critics: they were afraid of reviews like this one.
Full Review | Original Score: D-
Anders Wotzke
August 6, 2009
A lively, yet tedious, assault on the senses.
Read More | Original Score: 1/5
Tim Nagle
Times (UK)
August 11, 2009
It is impossible to care for the Joes, so cursory is their characterisation, so bland are the actors. It is all so uninvolving, and for that the computer-generated effects are greatly to blame.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Mike Scott
August 7, 2009
A predictable actioner built on big booms, a few one-liners and a major assist from CG department, there are few surprises, few nuances, very little reasoning -- and some distractingly bad acting.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
James Rocchi
Common Sense Media
August 7, 2009
Too violent for kids, too childish for grown-ups.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Jeffrey Bloomer
Paste Magazine
August 10, 2009
The movie is finally just too frivolous to elicit any real reaction, bemusement, anger, whatever. It's almost quaint.
Full Review | Original Score: 30/100
Tom Meek
Boston Phoenix
August 14, 2009
If only they'd brought Mr. Potato Head into the mix.
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul)
St. Paul Pioneer Press
August 7, 2009
Lots of things never become clear in "G.I.," which is so busy setting up a sequel that it doesn't even tell us what has become of two of the three main bad guys.
Read More | Original Score: 2/4
Robbie Collin
News of the World
August 7, 2009
G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobblers, as it must now be known, is a 118-minute war crime that does for the army what Steve Martin's Inspector Clouseau did for the French police force - except with more fake-looking explosions.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Chris Barsanti
August 7, 2009
a so utterly disposable comic-book film that one forgets it before it ends
| Original Score: 2/5
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