G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Reviews

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April 10, 2016
Very very bad, so bad you'd think it was directed by Michael Bay or Uwe Boll. Lame, predictable, hole-ridden script. Join-the-dots direction.

Obviously the CGI is great, but that is a given for a modern action movie.

I can't think of crappier movie which contained such a galaxy of stars: Dennis Quaid, Christopher Eccleston, Sienna Miller, Channing Tatum, Rachel Nichols, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marlon Wayans, Jonathan Pryce. Due to the lame plot and direction, none of them are required to extend themselves. In fact, in keeping with the low standard of the movie, it appears that those of them that actually have some acting talent (Dennis Quaid, Christopher Eccleston, Joseph Gordon-Levitt) were told to dumb their performances down. They can do better.

Yet another example of the "don't worry about originality, plot, direction, or acting, CGI is everything" trend in Hollywood. Even sadder than that is that a lot of people were willing to pay good money to see crap like this.
April 2, 2016
Better than the sequel.
½ March 27, 2016
Even for a film about a franchise that was created specifically to sell action figures this manages to be stupid. Even worse, it manages to be boring.
March 26, 2016
I should say in the interest of full disclosure that I have absolutely no connection to this incarnation of G.I. Joe. I was too old to have seen the cartoon when it was on TV, and the only G.I. Joe toys I owned were the ones with the kung-fu grip. That said, I saw some traces of a better movie hiding inside this one. Maybe there were some characters that it was possible to care about. Maybe there was a plot that one could follow. I didn't care though, and I can't really recall any of the plot. All I remember was hours of exhausting, idiotic action that might as well have been a collage of colour, sound and light.
March 18, 2016
Great action movie, I really liked it.
March 9, 2016
It was poorly executed
They could have done so much of a better job in it
½ March 3, 2016
Not bad but preety awful!
½ March 1, 2016
Loud and Action Packed thrills. I think it's a very fun movie that isn't meant to be taken seriously. I think it gets a worse reputation than it deserves. The dialogue and acting isn't very good but it doesn't really matter in a movie like this.
February 8, 2016
gi joe the rose of cobra me gusto un poco pero si me convencio le pongo 42
January 15, 2016
I don't know why they had mecha-suits in a G.I. Joe movie.
January 3, 2016
As I just finished watching "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra", I seriously wonder what kind of abomination the Hollywood film industry has become when its major blockbusters are reduced to two hour long toy commercials filled with fancy CGI but lacking a coherent story whatsoever.

Any man born in the early eighties somewhere in Western society remembers GI Joe as one of the coolest toy franchises that (just like "Transformers") had its own cartoon series to make the toys notorious. And boy, notorious they were. Millions of young boys dreamed of having their own plastic Cobra army going against the brave plastic Joe's and of course (unlike the cartoon) defeating them every now and then. I don't remember much of the cartoon series, to be honest, but boy do I remember those fascinating Cobra outfits. Those were the days...

Now we're 20 years later and the toy companies have moved up. Instead of using cartoons to sell their toys, they're using movies. And boy, do they suck. "Transformers" was an empty shell of a film, "Transformers 2" managed to be even worse and then there was "GI Joe". All I can say is "WOW"... What a way to ruin our childhood memories.

"GI Joe" consists of little more than one action scene after the other. While this is not a bad thing per se (I actually liked "Crank" and even "Shoot 'em up" the first time I saw them), the audience of "GI Joe" witnesses its intelligence being consistently insulted by a story that lacks any character development whatsoever, that lacks a coherent plot, that defies physics on a continuous basis and that is so filled with CGI I sometimes felt I was watching an animation film. Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but going throughout this film and remotely taking it seriously is another. Is there any more blatant way to rip off an existing franchise and use film as a way to advertise a new line of toys? And you know what... The one thing that made "GI Joe" so fascinating as a kid was the cool "Cobra" outfits and they managed to ruin that as well. ####, even the toys look like ####!

Watch this film only if you want to get a glimpse of how ridiculously sub par Hollywood blockbusters have become and you feel like making fun of it. Even as a "turn off your brain and enjoy" kind of film, this film is just too moronic to watch in any other setting... unless you're as stupid as the lowest common denominators this film seems to be targeted for. In that case, I pity you.
December 25, 2015
O exército tem que remover uma bomba moderna, porém a bomba é roubada e eles vão participar dos GI Joes, ou seja, um exército moderno ultra-secreto... eles conseguem recuperar a bomba e todos ficam felizes... um filme estilo sessão da tarde que vc assiste e fica feliz, mas nunca empolga muito...
½ December 16, 2015
If you want G.I. Joe, this ain't it. With that in mind, even if it weren't a G.I. Joe movie, it would still suck. Just stick with the 80s cartoon and animated movie or, even better, the Marvel comic book..
December 11, 2015
Liked it better than Transformers, even though I didn't have the slightest suspicion that the writers were ripping off almost every blockbuster which came out in the past decade!
Gosh! Well, thank you for making me feel more retarded than I already am Mr. Sommers, I owe you one! DOUCHEBAG! Look at Van Helsing, it was a bad film, but at least me and a bunch of other movie goers were having a hell of a great time with it! But as for this? Sign.....typical of you to blast criticism for how you make art! Look at it this way, at least you don't take as much heat as Micheal Bay receives these days! That's something to be thankful for, right pal?
November 22, 2015
Some surprisingly strong scenes for a pg13, and it is recommendable as a dose of goofy fun.
October 2, 2015
Perhaps my memories from juvenile days fail me but wasn't "Scarlet" and "Duke" the sweethearts of the commando team and "Baroness" void of any decency what so ever? Or more notably weren't the Joe's an American elite op force and not international. What! Hollywood tampering with my childhood again! That's outrageous! I'll sue!

Funny how we don't hear these arguments on this film and heard a tidal wave of complaints when they decided to slap some flames on "Optimus Prime" and turned "Bumble Bee" into a Camaro for the Transformers.

Anyways all joking aside. Surprisingly this film doesn't ask you to lower your IQ, it only asks you to suspend your disbelief much in the same way Star Wars does or Indiana Jones for that matter. In return you are entertained by an evenly paced action film that never really lets up and is always showing off some new elaborate and stylish set piece, action moves, or CGI effect. As for the plot its not all that bad for a summer flick and rather constructed well. The reasoning behind the science may be bunk but its easy enough to understand that the scientific breakthrough that is being fought over is very bad news if it gets into the hands of the bad guys. It provides a realm for the action to take place in that is plausible...all be it remotely.

As well most of the characters were given good face time. "Duke" has an interesting history with the "Baroness" that sort of frees up "Scarlet" and the origins of all the characters especially, "Duke's", "Baroness"' and "Cobra Commander" were all particularly interesting in that certain comic book-revelation sort of style. It was also good to see Ray Park return as the martial arts master behind the mask playing "Snake Eyes". He is best known for his work as "Darth Maul" in Star Wars Ep. I. I was even surprised that Dennis Quaid's character as "General Hawk" served some meaningful purpose to the film. Quaid's veteran status along with Christopher Eccleston's "Destro" gives the cast some level of depth. The leading lady role was some what relegated from "Scarlet" to the "Baroness" (played perfectly by Sienna Miller) so outside of kicking a minimal amount of butt and one very brief kung-fu cat fight "Scarlet" wasn't even really needed. Marlon Wayans' character, played his role adequately as "Ripcord" His character served as Duke's sidekick for the first half of the film and then an emerging arial combat hero at the end but his flirting with "Scarlet" through the duration of the film is weak at best. The pair's bantering in this film reminds me of pre teens in puppy love...YEESH. It would be preferable if either she likes him and moves on with the film or its one rejection and move on with the film...just don't string it out...after all this is a movie for guys.

So over all this film is a good popcorn flick. May even evolve into a fun DVD to watch on a slow or rainy weekend. I wouldn't bother comparing it against the other summer franchises...Terminator, Transformers and GI JOE all score about the same while Star Trek edges out everybody only because its cleverness in the direction its taking a classic franchise; however I found the execution of GI JOE and it conclusion to be equally satisfying as Star Trek.

Its a thumbs up for this movie, and as long as you realize your entering into a sci-fi fantasy environment that just happens to be in your back yard you should be able to have a good couple hours of fun.

Oh and for a real treat look for Brendan Frasier's cameo as "Flint." I hope they bring him in for the sequel.
September 26, 2015
An action/science-fiction film based on toys that is too childish for plenty of moviegoers.
September 20, 2015
Ludicrous story and visual effects that don't deserve the title of "special". Also had what I feel must be the world record number of flashbacks for an action movie... all of them completely extraneous.
September 9, 2015
As silly, mindless action movies go, you could do a lot worse...
September 1, 2015
Saw this on DVD last week. It was good, but could have been better. I didn't like the actors who were chosen for the roles except for the two ninjas.
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