Girls Gone Dead Reviews

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Super Reviewer
½ June 7, 2013
Terrible, terrible, terrible from stem to stern with inept blood effects that range from chocolate syrup to spaghetti sauce. The kind of slasher movie (note I did not say horror movie because there is not one figment of horror to be found) with worthless, irritating characters that you can't wait to see get killed off. There is one exception, Caley Hayes as birdbrained Kelly might have an acting career worth salvaging.

When Ron Jeremy's piano playing during the end credits represents the entertainment high point, that's a surefire sign your movie is shit.
½ September 2, 2013
campy horror spoof of the girls gone wild franchise with cameos by Ron Jeremy, Betlejuice from Howard Stern show and Jerry "the King " Lawler as the local sherif
September 29, 2012
This is pretty bad, but the {SPOILER ALERT} Beetlejuice decapitation scene and the pile driver at the end almost made it worthwhile.
½ August 6, 2012
It was a great mystery. I'd think I knew who it was then something would happen to make it look like someone else.
July 17, 2014
Right off the bat, any movie featuring Ron Jeremy, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and Beetlejuice has a pedigree of talent unmatched by any other film. Of course this is nothing more then your basic C-Movie slasher with a healthy dose of T & A and some bad special effects. Anytone who's ever seen a movie will know who the "killers" are before you're even 10 minutes into the movie.
½ January 19, 2014
The film crew knows how to expose an image, and edit competently but what is on screen is just unwatchable!
July 21, 2013
Girls Gone Dead (Michael Hoffman and Aaron T. Wells, 2012)

I will give you this right up front: given the title Girls Gone Dead, if you go into this movie expecting something that looks like it came out of Yasujiro Ozu's camera, let's face it, you're dumber than this movie. I try to take things on their own merits, but even when you go into a movie expecting pulp cheesiness, there is good pulp cheesiness and bad pulp cheesiness. Interesting recent examples of the former? Strippers vs. Werewolves (and let's be honest, that's an even worse title than Girls Gone Dead), Gutterballs, and Zombies of Mass Destruction have all come out within the past five years, are all stupidly funny, and when you've finished with them, you may find yourself needing to take a shower, but you won't feel like you've wasted your time. Here, on the other hand... well, given how much I pay for Netflix and how many movies I watch per month, Girls Gone Dead probably cost me in the vicinity of seventeen cents to watch. I'm not going to demand my money back on this one (like I would on, say, Hellraiser: Revelations or Fading of the Cries), but it's a pretty close call.

Plot: the usual batch of young-and-beautifuls (a cheerleading team!) are on spring break at Rebecca (Step Up: Revolution's Katie Peterson)'s father's summer house. Which, it turns out, is a pretty fur piece from the actual beach, but the kids are not going to let that stop them from attempting to have fun partying it up at the local bar, which is terrifying and provides the movie's only true laughs. They also discover that Crazy Girls Unlimited, who are responsible for a very lucrative series of videos featuring topless drunk Spring Break babes (sound familiar?), are filming in close-by Daytona Beach...or were, until a crazed killer broke the party up in a very nasty way. The killer, his thirst for blood whetted, and the co-eds are on the inevitable collision course...

People have been trying to do slasher comedies as long as there have been slasher movies; Student Bodies popped up all the way back in 1981 (and it may still be the best of the lot). Almost all of them are unforgivably bad. And so, looked at in that light, maybe Girls Gone Dead isn't as bottom-of-the-barrel as I originally painted it. If you're familiar with enough movies of this stripe to be able to evaluate this one in the context it so desperately needs, you'll be able to see some of the movie for being as fun as it is. But is it really worth the trouble, given that you probably figured out who the killer is about five minutes after the character was introduced and there's nothing even remotely unpredictable about this flick? Probably not, but if you have absolutely nothing else to do on a Friday night... **
½ July 20, 2013
Really bad. Terrible acting and script.
½ February 18, 2013
Downloaded this from iTunes.. was waiting forever for the release. I was let down a bit, however.. Beetle, Sal, and Jerry Lawler made it worth while.
October 22, 2012
The movie is about under-age adults partying, and stuff, until a monk with a war-hammer decides to kill them for a religious thing from worshiping God. This movie was pretty fun to watch, sure the acting is not that good, but like I said, in slasher movies, when you're playing as person that gets killed, you don't have to act, only the killer has to act the role, and I got to say, the killer was a pretty intense killer. The film is really entertaining to watch, the script was good, the plot was okay, but it's still a fun movie to watch, oh if one of you are Christians, you may not want to watch this movie, because the Christians in this movie are insane, and the movie sometimes makes fun of them, so yeah if you are Christians, you might get offended by this movie, but if you love fun slasher movies, this is the movie for you.
December 21, 2012
Although the gore scenes were cheesy, the plot actually had me interested throughout the film...not bad really
October 23, 2012
This movie is so bad it makes me want to punch myself violently in the nuts.
½ October 4, 2012
This movie is a complete waste of money and time, if you are watching this movie for tits, you are better off with American Pie(which is bad as well). The logic is completely flawed, the script is one of the worst I've ever saw. The acting is horrible. The movie's strength is tits or rather it seems, even those tits are next to nothing. There are not more than a handful of GOOD tits, the rest are just err.... some extra skin with a nipple on it.
September 12, 2012
This film is so bad, it's bad! Just awful! They didn't even make the blood red, more a blood-orange, thick paint.

I don't think that a B-movie sets out to be one, not in this way. This film aims to be bad, and fails. It's just godless, immoral nonsense, with the worst breast implants you'll find, this side of the PiP scandal.

Even Ron Jeremy should be ashamed to be associated with this junk. I pulled it from the Piratebay, and still felt ripped-off.
September 2, 2012
Boobs, babes, blood and Beetlejuice. What more could you ask for? Reminded me of the slasher flicks we used to watch with our friends in the 80's and early 90's. You know the tune, sorority girls meet their doom courtesy of a deranged, hammer wielding madman. In between all of the campy gore and guts we get boobies, boobies boobies! The production quality was great for a low budget flick and the acting was a lot better than I expected. Cameos from Sal and Beetle from the Stern Show were just icing on the cake.
½ August 3, 2012
As low budget T & A slasher flicks go, this one is very entertaining. Lots of fun cameos (Beetlejuice & Sal the Stockbroker from the Howard Stern Show, Jerry Lawler, Ron Jeremy, etc) and some amazing production value considering the budget constraints.

The story involves some girls on Spring Break being stalked by a mask wearing murderer who is having a field day chopping everyone up with a medieval war hammer. Hardly worth going into anymore than that - if you're watching this for a compelling story and Oscar worthy performances, you are obviously at the wrong movie. This is about boobs, blood, dopey-raunchy-funny comedy, some more boobs, and that's about it.

Hats off to the filmmakers for some excellent cinematography and old school gore FX.

If you are uptight, overly serious, or easily offended, run away! Not for you!! For everyone else - happy giggling & jiggling!! :)
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