Godzilla vs. Megaguirus Reviews
Woah... this movie. It begins on the wrong foot right away by establishing itself as yet another new continuity. There's no real reason for this change either. This could have easily been a sequel to "Godzilla 2000". Actually, this film is filled with changes to the franchise that just don't make much sense. Why the alternate universe where Osaka is the capital of Japan? Why the G-Graspers? The film has a few interesting ideas, but goes on to completely fumble the ball. So let's talk first of all about the new threat to Godzilla. If you remember your Kaiju history, you might recognize the Meganulon as the insect creatures that terrorized a small mining town in "Rodan". Bringing back these creatures with a new design is actually a really cool idea. It rewards the fans of the franchise who will get the reference and those monstrous insects had a lot of potential for future films. The creatures even get amped up by giving them a bigger "boss-level" mega-monster and by having them in numbers so great that they can square off against Godzilla himself! Unfortunately, the insects are very poorly created. The hundreds of smaller creatures are all brought to life using CGI and it doesn't look good at all. It's downright laughable actually. Megaguirus itself doesn't fare much better either. The idea is that this creature is so fast that it can attack Godzilla before it can throw even a single punch, but it still never feels like a genuine threat. It just sort of flies around, biting and slashing with its tail and claws and Godzilla looks annoyed as he tries to swat it out of the air. Seeing the creature on-screen is downright embarrassing at times too. There is more than one scene where you can see the strings holding the creature up. I can forgive some of the seams showing in something like "Godzilla vs. the Thing" because that movie was made decades ago. This movie has computer effects readily available and could have easily edited those out if someone had been paying attention. Speaking of "Godzilla vs. the Thing", Megaguirus is really sloppily operated. It just sort of hovers around, slowly flapping its wings in a way that isn't at all convincing. Megaguirus ends up feeling like a knockoff of Battra from "Godzilla and Mothra: Battle for Earth".
When it comes to the human plot, it's just as bad. A big part of the original Godzilla film was that the people facing the monster had very conflicted thoughts about destroying Godzilla. If a weapon can kill the seemingly unkillable monster, what will happen when humanity no longer has a common enemy to use it against? Will we simply trade one threat for another, even deadlier one? It made a really good point about the escalating nuclear arms race and how maybe it shouldn't have been started at all. Throw all of those ideas out of the window now because we've developed one of the deadliest weapons ever, a gun that can shoot black holes, from space! Suddenly, if anyone is bugging the G-Graspers about their stupid name, they can point their death cannon at any location and then reduce it all to a big crater! Even worse, this weapon is revealed to be the very thing that ended up creating Megaguirus! So not only can it kill anything, but it also mutates animals into giant kaiju?! Don't even get me started on the non-science in this movie either, it's through the roof. Going back to the actual humans, they're not interesting at all. We get the inclusion of an annoying, stupid kid that accidentally unleashes a monster onto the world, a love plot that's forgettable, a scientist that fails to find decent work or impress anyone despite developing revolutionary technologies and a military leader with a tragic back story you've seen a million times before. The best part of the human plot is when we see two teenagers get attacked by Meganulon early in the film. Their dialogue is so stilted, so badly acted it becomes hilarious. It's like you get transported into a totally different movie set simultaneously on Elm Street, the campground by Crystal lake and in the middle of an invasion of C.H.U.D.s. Ironically, that scene give you a bit of hope. Maybe the whole movie will be this crazy and fun! We've already got Black-Hole guns, killer satellites, giant bugs and teenagers getting bumped off... maybe Godzilla will start dancing again and aliens from another dimension or crazed mafia members bent on taking over the world will show up! Unfortunately any "so bad it's good" moments just end about halfway through the film and you're just left with bad special effects and a lengthy, but not particularly exciting monster climax.
As a special kicker, this is the first Godzilla movie to end with a cliff hanger, hinting at a super-awesome sequel! Unfortunately someone at Toho actually saw the film, realized how bad it was and ensured that it was not followed up on. Not that it's a terribly big loss because the teaser at the very end of the movie doesn't even make any sense. "Godzilla vs. Megaguirus" has some charm if you're looking solely at the monster designs and some of the fights and the titular villain has some cool powers but it's a serious contender for "Worst Godzilla Movie". (English Dub on Dvd, May 19, 2014)
Megaguirus is one of the most average monsters in the saga, similar to that time in the Showa era when the Godzilla movies where kid-oriented. The monster's special effects are crap for the most part and mostly laughable, but not memorable. The story is pretty standard and mediocre, the characters aren't likeable and Godzilla feels downplayed. I don't know how they can fuck it up so constantly and yet so inconsistently. At least the Heisei series picked the pace in the second movie, but here, it makes it harder to pick. And it was a disappointment, because the movie's opening looked very great and staged an environment, but it disappears after 20 minutes without any sight of Godzilla.
What a mess. This movie makes Godzilla look bad, closer to what Roland Emmerich did with the monster. There are only 4 more movies, and it doesn't look good so far. I hope there's one good movie in this Millennium series.