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Alternately bloody and silly, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters fails as both a fantasy adventure and as a parody of same.
All Critics (137)
| Top Critics (23)
| Fresh (20)
| Rotten (117)
| DVD (3)
It's a film which is so demeaningly bad, so utterly without merit, that there is a kind of purity in its awfulness.
If this long-delayed and blatantly pandering CGI malarkey is anything to go by, Hollywood's current craze for fairy tales isn't going to have a happy ending.
There isn't much to this beyond the poorly staged, rapidly edited violence; the witches, all but devoid of backstory, are basically canvasses for cartoon splatter.
The movie settles for showers of gore with intermittent moments of spoofiness.
The whole kidding trope, which you can bet was ordered by McKay and Ferrell, is pretty lame, and defeats the leads' attempts to bring shadings to cardboard cartoon characters.
At least it puts forth a sound message: Kids, avoid overdoing it on sweets -- especially candy that doubles as drywall.
A streamlined and steam-cleaned studio product that can't decide if it's an adult horror or a children's fantasy.
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters winds up being one of those movies that sounds better in a description of its better component parts than it plays onscreen.
Which doesn't mean it's bad... well, yes it is. It is really bad. But there are odd bits of redemption lingering in its depths that are truly baffling to behold.
If you went into this movie expecting anything more than the title suggests, you deserve to be disappointed.
Hansel & Gretel, a bizarrely updated twist on the fairy tale, is the perfect example of a movie that is both intentionally and unintentionally funny at the same time.
That it is so hilariously awful and staggeringly terrible across so many levels makes it a Hall of Famer.
The idea of telling the classic fairy tale of Hansel and Gretel within the first five minutes and then make them grown-up with hunters could have made for a fun magical adventure. Instead we get a plastic version with hilariously annoying witches, two heroes who utter nothing but simplistic nonsense and a rushed plot that could be summed up on a stamp. Artificial, unintentionally funny and stupid movie making at its worst. Everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves. This film makes Van Helsing look like a masterpiece, and that's saying something.
Don't get excited. It's another entry into the fantasy/action genre (as per League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Van Helsing), with steampunk inspirations, alt soundtrack, and some little gore quotient. Add supposed to be catchy catchphrases whenere a baddie is dispatched and its pretty much predictable before the opening shots. Time passes quickly however and while not surprised you'll not be completely bored either.
Revenge is sweeter than candy.
Good Movie! Its not an intellectually stimulating movie. Its made to a hilariously entertaining popcorn flick with over-the-top action and unrealistic weapons that wouldn't have existed given the 'time period' this movie seems to be set in. So you folks out there giving it bad rap for not meeting your standards, calm down. Its clearly not trying to. The only complaint I have is that it wasn't long enough. It's run time is just short of 90 minutes so they had ample room to expand a few scenes or even add new ones to flesh out the character development a little. A definite recommend for any action junkie.
The siblings Hansel and Gretel are left alone in the woods by their father and captured by a dark witch in a candy house. However they kill the witch and escape from the spot. Years later, the orphans have become famous witch hunters. When eleven children go missing in a small village, the Mayor summons Hansel and Gretel to rescue them, and they save the red haired Mina from the local sheriff that wants to burn her accusing Mina of witchcraft. Soon they discover that the Blood Moon will approach in three days and the powerful dark witch Muriel is the responsible for the abduction of children. She intends to use the children together with a secret ingredient in a Sabbath to make the coven of witches protected against the fire. Meanwhile Hansel and Gretel disclose secrets about their parents.
Straying impossibly far away from it's source material, "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunter's" is the type of film that you can have a blast watching, but in the end, you will admit that it is just a bad movie overall. It has a few nods here and there to the original Hansel and Gretel fairytale which was nice, but it got tiring when you finally got to the action scenes which kind of felt more repetitive than anything. I will not say it's a terrible film by any means, because the entertainment levels are sky high. The script is probably in the top 5 worst of 2013 and the delivery of the dialogue is just as terrible, but that made the film much more fun to watch. It's a big piece of Hollywood Schlock that I won't remember, but I will be fine with to turn my brain off and watch again.
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