Happy Gilmore - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Happy Gilmore Quotes

  • Happy Gilmore: Green jacket, gold jacket who gives a crap?


  • Jeering Fan: You're gonna need a blanket and suntan lotion, cause you're never gonna get off that beach, just like the way you never got into the NHL, ya JACKASS.


  • Happy Gilmore: uh oh happy learned how to putt
    Happy Gilmore: Uh oh, Happy learned how to putt.


  • Happy Gilmore: The price is wrong, bitch.


  • Mr. Larson: And you can count on me, waiting for you in the parking lot!


  • Potter: "Lot of pressure. You've gotta rise above it. You've got to harness in the good energy, block out the bad. Harness... energy... block... bad. Feel the flow, feel it. It's circular. Its like a carousel-- you pay the quarter, you get on the horse. It goes up and down and around. Circular... circle. With the music, the flow. All good things."
    Potter: Lot of pressure. You've gotta rise above it. You've got to harness in the good energy, block out the bad. Harness... energy... block... bad. Feel the flow, feel it. It's circular. Its like a carousel-- you pay the quarter, you get on the horse. It goes up and down and around. Circular... circle. With the music, the flow. All good things.


  • Happy Gilmore: Tap tap tap it in.


  • Chubbs: You were great out there today.
    Happy Gilmore: Thank you.
    Chubbs: But not that great. A lot of that was luck.
    Happy Gilmore: Some might call it luck. I like to call it.. [thinking] well, luck, I guess. So what?


  • Shooter McGavin: You were great out there today. But not that great. A lot of that was luck.
    Chubbs: You were great out there today. But not that great. A lot of that was luck.
    Happy Gilmore: Some might call it luck. I like to call it.. [thinking] well, luck, I guess. So what?


  • Mr. Larson: Thats twice thus far shooter.


  • Happy Gilmore: The price is wrong, bitch.


  • Happy Gilmore: thats my puck baby dont you ever touch my puck
    Happy Gilmore: That's my puck baby. Don't you ever touch my puck!


  • Happy Gilmore: (Turns around) Psycho...
    Happy Gilmore: [turns around] Psycho...


  • Happy Gilmore: I think I just killed that Mister Mister lady.


  • Hal (Nursing Home Orderly): Grandma: Could I please trouble you for a warm glass of milk. It helps send me to sleep. Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of SHUT THE HELL UP!! Now you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep.
    Grandma: Could I please trouble you for a warm glass of milk. It helps send me to sleep.
    Hal (Nursing Home Orderly): You can trouble me for a warm glass of SHUT THE HELL UP!! Now you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep.


  • Happy Gilmore: Somebody's Closer!!! (High-pitched voice)
    Happy Gilmore: Somebody's closer! [high-pitched voice]


  • Happy Gilmore: You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don't you just go HOME? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS, BALL!


  • Happy Gilmore: you like to eat peices of shit for breakfast?
    Happy Gilmore: [laughing] You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?


  • Happy Gilmore: Your fingers hurt? Well now your backs gonna hurt, cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anyone elses fingers hurt?
    Hal (Nursing Home Orderly): Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?


  • Chubbs: Damn alligator bit my hand off!
    Chubbs: Damned alligator BIT my hand off! [Shows Happy his wooden hand]
    Happy Gilmore: Oh my god!
    Happy Gilmore: OH MY GOD!


  • Happy Gilmore: The price is *wrong*, bitch!
    Happy Gilmore: The price is wrong, bitch.


  • Happy Gilmore: your gonna die clown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Happy Gilmore: You're gonna die clown!


  • Happy Gilmore: Shooter McGavin: You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast! Happy Gilmore: [laughing] You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? Shooter McGavin: [long pause] No!
    Shooter McGavin: Just stay out of my way... or you'll pay! LISTEN to what I say!
    Happy Gilmore: Shooter McGavin: Just stay out of my way... or you'll pay! LISTEN to what I say! Happy Gilmore: Hey, why don't I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What'd ya say?
    Happy Gilmore: Hey, why don't I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What'd ya say?


  • Happy Gilmore: Shooter McGavin: You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast! Happy Gilmore: [laughing] You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? Shooter McGavin: [long pause] No!
    Shooter McGavin: You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
    Happy Gilmore: [laughing] You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
    Shooter McGavin: [to the spectators] Damn you people. This is golf. Not a rock concert.


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