Heathers - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Heathers Quotes

  • Veronica Sawyer: Betty Finn was a true friend, and I traded her out for a bunch of swatch-dogs and diet-cokeheads.

  • J.D.: Our love is God.

  • Heather Chandler: Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, do I look like Mother Teresa?

  • Veronica's Dad: I don't patronize bunny rabbits

  • Heather Duke: Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?

  • Pauline Fleming: Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make.

  • Veronica's Dad: "I do not patronize bunny rabbits!"
    Veronica's Dad: I do not patronize bunny rabbits!

  • Heather Chandler: Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.
    Heather Chandler: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

  • Veronica Sawyer: JD that knife is filthy
    Veronica Sawyer: That knife is filthy.
    J.D.: What do you think I am gonna do with it take out her tonsils
    J.D.: What do you think I'm going to do with it, take out her tonsils?

  • Kurt's Dad: I love my dead gay son!

  • J.D.: Greetings and salutations
    J.D.: Greetings and salutations.

  • J.D.: Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs darling.

  • Veronica Sawyer: I just killed my best friend!
    J.D.: And your worst enemy.
    Veronica Sawyer: Same difference
    Veronica Sawyer: Same difference.

  • Veronica Sawyer: She's my best friend. God, I hate her.

  • Veronica Sawyer: Your day dreams are a lot better than my reality, believe me.

  • J.D.: The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.

  • Pauline Fleming: Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make.

  • J.D.: Society nods its head at any horror the American teenager can think to bring upon itself.

  • Heather Duke: Some people need different kinds of convincing than others.

  • Heather McNamara: Suicide is a private thing.

  • J.D.: The extreme always seems to make an impression.

  • Veronica's Dad: Veronica's Dad: Goddamn, will somebody tell me why I read these spy novels.
    Veronica Sawyer: Cuz you're an idiot
    Veronica's Dad: Oh yeah, that's it.

  • Veronica Sawyer: Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count.

  • Veronica Sawyer: Dear Diary: Heather told me she teaches people "real life." She said, real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, yes. I said, you're beautiful.
    Veronica Sawyer: Dear Diary: Heather told me she teaches people 'real life.' She said, real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, yes. I said, you're beautiful.

  • Veronica Sawyer: Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.
    Veronica Sawyer: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

  • J.D.: Greetings and salutations.

  • Veronica Sawyer: All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.
    Veronica's Dad: I don't patronize bunny rabbits.

  • Heather McNamara: It's your turn, Heather.
    Heather Chandler: No, Heather, it's Heather's turn.
    Heather Duke: Sorry, Heather.

  • Veronica Sawyer: If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game show host.

  • Veronica Sawyer: What's your damage, Heather?

  • Veronica Sawyer: How very.

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