Hollywood Homicide - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Hollywood Homicide Quotes

  • Joe Gavilan: Fuck you very much!


  • Joe Gavilan: Commingling funds, huh? That's my crime? Commingling? Guilty. My alimony number one comes from money commingled with my beer money. My refinanced car commingled with the short-term loan to keep the second mortgage paid off, commingled with my alimony number three, commingled with every goddamn dime I've got tied up in my Mt. Olympus property. My whole life's commingled.


  • K.C. Calden: I don't think I want to be a cop anymore.
    Joe Gavilan: Then what do you want to be?
    K.C. Calden: I want to be an actor.
    Joe Gavilan: [shrugs] You're gay. I can deal with that.


  • K.C. Calden: How did you find me?
    Joe Gavilan: I'm psychic.
    K.C. Calden: [amazed] Really?
    Joe Gavilan: No, not really. I'm a detective for Pete's sake.


  • Joe Gavilan: Looks like we're gonna be here a while. Let's get going on some chow.
    Joe Gavilan: [to Cop] Cheeseburger, well done. Onion, pickle, ketchup, no mayonnaise and no rabbit's foot. O.K.?
    K.C. Calden: I'll have the same.


  • Joe Gavilan: Yes, Yes, I do understand the rights you just explained to me. But you know what? I don't like to remain silent, and I do not need an attorney because this is all BULLSHIT! [looks out two-way mirror]
    Joe Gavilan: AND YOU CAN PUT THAT ON THE RECORD!


  • Joe Gavilan: Hey, you. Come here. I see mayonnaise. Did anybody in this hear me say the word "Mayonnaise"? Read your notes. What does it say? "Cheeseburger, well done. Raw onion, ketchup, pickle". You call that well done? In addition to the mayonnaise, I see lettuce... Lettuce that somebody tried to scrape off here. This is a disaster. What the hell do they teach you at the Academy anyway? You wanna be a detective when you grow up?
    Joe Gavilan: Hey, you. Come here. I see mayonnaise. Did anybody in this hear me say the word 'Mayonnaise'? Read your notes. What does it say? 'Cheeseburger, well done. Raw onion, ketchup, pickle'. You call that well done? In addition to the mayonnaise, I see lettuce... Lettuce that somebody tried to scrape off here. This is a disaster. What the hell do they teach you at the Academy anyway? You wanna be a detective when you grow up?
    Cheeseburger Cop: Yes, sir.
    Joe Gavilan: Don't call me "sir!" I work for a living. Dump this for me please. I expect better.
    Joe Gavilan: Don't call me 'sir!' I work for a living. Dump this for me please. I expect better.


  • K.C. Calden: Well, what do you think?
    Joe Gavilan: Write this down. [K.C. grabs his pad and pen]
    Joe Gavilan: Cheeseburger, well done. Raw onion, pickle, ketchup. Nothing else.
    Silk Brown: Got it. Officer, it's time to get rolling on some chow. This is what the big dog wants, and I want tomato and cucumber on whole wheat with only mustard and bean sprouts.


  • K.C. Calden: It's not about the sex. [Joe Gavilan just looks at him]
    K.C. Calden: OK, so I got into it for the sex, but it's not about that anymore.


  • Joe Gavilan: If I take my gingko... I can still remember where I put the Viagra.


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