Hospital Massacre (Be My Valentine, or Else...)(Ward 13) - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Hospital Massacre (Be My Valentine, or Else...)(Ward 13) Reviews

Page 1 of 2
½ October 12, 2016
A fun campy slasher movie from the 80's. The killer may not be terribly memorable, but there are lots of fun moments, some nice gore, and great kills. It's basic horror entertainment.
September 24, 2016
All you need to know about this film is that it was made by Golan and Globus, who were the kings of terrible films from 1979-1985. Indeed, X-Ray/Hospital Massacre/ Be My Valentine, Or Else/Ward 13 (Holy shit, this film has 4 different titles) is an awful, poorly made film, but in all the best ways. It's completely ridiculous and silly (For crying out loud, the filmmakers decided to dress a guy in a wig and try to pass him off as an elderly woman. Did they not have enough money to hire an elderly lady? Was the guy on set and they figured he could do just as good a job for less money? Seriously, WTF?). Barbi Benton is just about the only actor/actress here that does a decent job. She's amazingly beautiful, and isn't afraid to show us her goods. Honestly, I kind of want to see more of her films now. As for the movie itself, what it lacks in suspense, tension and scares (I knew who the killer was going to be the first time he appeared on screen), it more than makes up for in pure, dumb, silly fun. I'd easily classify this as a great party film. Sit down with a group of your friends, switch it on, and have a ton of fun laughing at it and making fun of it.
November 10, 2015
Hospital Massacre is hilariously bad, and immensely fun to watch. Susan goes to the hospital to get results from a routine checkup, but a sort-of stalker changes her x-rays to that of a dying patient so he can spend more time with her.

And while she strips down for examinations, the stalker is off killing anyone he comes across in the hospital in a variety of bloody ways.

All of the doctors and patients are horrible people, rude, and uncaring, while poor Susan screams for anyone to listen to her plight.

The reveal of the killer was so obvious I thought there would be a twist where it wasn't the person I assumed it was.
½ September 12, 2015
Kylläpä tämä leffa taitaa sijoittua sinne reiän tietämille.
½ September 5, 2015
Typically gory and stupid 1980's slasher flick.
½ January 31, 2015
Pretty disappointing slasher film
November 10, 2013
Du grand cinéma... C'est tellement mauvais que c'en est divertissant!
October 22, 2013
This maybe a ridiculously cheesy horror flick but it doesn't take itself too seriously and it has some great atmosphere and decent kills..that's about the only nice thing I can say the rest is your generic by the number 80's slasher flick...

The lovely Barbi Benton plays a woman who is stalked by an acquaintance who wants revenge for being rejected by her as a small just so happens he's also a doctor.
August 7, 2013
X-Ray (AKA Hospital Massacre, AKA Be My Valentine, or Else, AKA Ward 13) is another one of those long lost and forgotten 80's slashers that didn't get a decent release on DVD and is now about to be brought back into the light, thanks to Shout! Factory's Scream Factory label. The movie is a very mediocre slasher with some things that don't make a lot of sense. The lead actress, Barbi Benton, is a very poor actress and her screaming doesn't help matters much. She was a Playboy superstar in those days, so that's most likely why she was chosen for the role. The movie is also very predictable, but it does have a few fun moments. I do have to say though that I have never heard people breathing so hard in a movie before, to the point where it almost comes off comical. Regardless, it's a mediocre slasher movie and fans of the genre will most likely eat it up upon release. Horror fans with finer tastes may not dig it as much though.
Super Reviewer
March 20, 2013
During the slasher craze of the 1980's, many films have come out, and have since forgotten due to the fact that there have been many other films that have overshadowed their existence. One such film is Hospital Massacre. This is a genre film that doesn't try anything new with its formula, and it is just a collection of clichés with an average plot. The strength of the film lies in its effective kill sequences, which are quite bloody, and creative. The film could have been better, but it definitely manages to be a good Slasher film for genre fans looking for an underrated, obscured flick. The film leaves a lot of room for improvement, but overall it is a well crafted horror yarn that relies on a brooding sense of atmosphere to build its tension. This is a worthy addition to the genre, and though far from perfect, it still gives genre fans something that is entertaining to check out. The kill sequences are what makes up for the forgettable performances. If the script would have been rewritten, this Slasher could have stood out among the very best in the genre. As it is, it's a good outing, and one that is sure to please the most diehard of fans. Hospital Massacre is a bit different, and does offer some tense atmosphere, which is what most films lack. However, most of the time relies on all the ingredients that have made the genre popular among fans. The film is a must see for fans of obscured horror yarns, and though lacking in great story, the gore and kill sequences more than make up for it.
September 2, 2012
No real plot, decent level of kills and violence but it's Barbi Benton that saves the film from becoming a(nother) forgettable slasher of the 80s.
August 13, 2012
A mostly forgotten (and yet-to-be-released-on-DVD slasher film), Hospital Massacre stems from the Golden Age of the slasher genre and is a surprisingly entertaining film. Its plot is about as underdeveloped as a plot can be--it features the cliche back-in-the-day first scene that gives the keys to the later massacre, but then it (unlike many of his peers) jumps right into the murders without almost no build-up or explication. But it is a fun, violent, and even sometimes creepy hospital slasher film that fits well with other classic hospital slashers like Halloween 2 and Visiting Hours.
½ June 15, 2012
Also known as X-Ray (currently streaming at Epix channel online and other devices) this is a good looking 1980s B-movie slasher...and that's about the only good thing I can think of to say. The acting is bad and the situations are cliched, stupid and would never happen in any possible scenario including being at work in a hospital and being completely blasted out of your skull on heroin or some sort of bath salts as the kids use still wouldn't think along the lines of most of the people who end up killed by a psycho in full surgeon gear including the surgeon mask. There are no true thrills..just wonder at how badly played the psycho versus the dame in distress scenario that plays out at one point and involves a lighter that drops out of her hands (the direction suffers terribly here and other such instances). It's mind-bogglingly bad. Yet I couldn't turn it off b/c I remembered loving these types of movies as a kid. The gore was mostly off screen and nothing too original. Other than looking almost as good as a Hollywood marquee there is not much more to say other than that this is a rare flick that goes by the numbers but is one of the very few slashers done almost entirely in the setting of a hospital. Halloween II would be better recommended.
May 8, 2012
Nonsensical but fun and underrated slasher from the golden period.
½ September 21, 2011
The nurses Dora and Kitty look like total snobs
February 21, 2011
Piemiiliigs trash gabals. Iesaku visiem bizaaÂ?ru meeslu cieniitaajiem!
June 19, 2010
Ok the plot is silly and higly unlikely but on the coat tails of Halloween 2 its a decent knock off. Susan rejects a nerdy boy and he kills her brother in a fit of rage. Many say the kid wouldnt had been strong enough but her brother would had been lighter then a car and if he got an adrainien rush he could had easily done it as witnesses have seen people lift cars off of people in the same state of mind. Cue 19 years later and Susan goes for the results of a check up but Harry had never forgotten her so in Hostel surgion gab he kills off the staff one by one. I bet Elite hunting would had hired this guy as he's not bad with a blade. Awesome acting and a creepy fllor on the 9th floor(not hard to do as places like that creep me out even if they only painted the place) and awesome kills plus a satisfying ending make this worth seeing.
Super Reviewer
May 3, 2010
No real plot, decent level of kills and violence but it's Barbi Benton that saves the film from becoming a(nother) forgettable slasher of the 80s.
November 26, 2009
all i'm going to say is Barbi Benton has quite the body "wow" thank god for nudity in bad horror. (that's why I gave it the two extra stars).
Page 1 of 2