Idiocracy - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Idiocracy Quotes

  • Woman at Carl's Jr.: Your kids are starving. Carl's Jr. believes no child should go hungry. You are an unfit mother. Your children will be placed in the custody of Carl's Jr. Carl's Jr., fuck you, I'm eating.

  • Secretary of Education: IQ Test: If you have 1 bucket with 2 gallons and 1 bucket with 4 gallons, how many buckets you got?

  • Rita: You think Einstein walked around thinkin' everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?
    Pvt. Joe Bauers: Yeah... Hadn't thought of that.
    Rita: Now you know why he built that bomb.

  • Pvt. Joe Bauers: You know, there was a time in this country when smart people were considered cool... well maybe not cool, but they did things like build ships and pyramids and they even went to the moon.

  • Secretary of Defense: Because Brawndo's got electrolytes.

  • Pvt. Joe Bauers: Why me? Every time Metsler says, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way," I get out of the way.
    Pvt. Joe Bauers: Why me? Every time Metsler says, 'Lead, follow, or get out of the way,' I get out of the way.

  • Doctor: Why come you got no tattoo?

  • Guy at Costco: Welcome to Costco, I love you.

  • Frito: For the smartest guy in the world you're pretty dumb sometimes.

  • Narrator: The number one movie was called: Ass. And that's all it was for 90 mins. It won eight oscars that year including best screenplay.

  • Pvt. Joe Bauers: Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, y'know?
    Frito: I don't really think we have time for a handjob, Joe.

  • Narrator: As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.

  • Narrator: The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources where focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.

  • President Camacho: Shit. I know shit's bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.
    Congressman #1: That's what you said last time, dipshit!
    Congressman #2: Yeah, I got a solution, you're a dick! South Carolina, what's up!

  • Doctor With Trashy Guy: Clevon is lucky to be alive. He attempted to jump a jet ski from a lake into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate. But thanks to advances in stem cell research and the fine work of Doctors Krinsky and Altschuler, he should regain full reproductive function again.
    Trashy Guy: [in the background] Get your hands off my junk!

  • Frito: I can't believe you like money too. We should hang out.

  • Frito: I like money.

  • Doctor: Don't worry, scrote. There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick-ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now.

  • Guy at Costco: Welcome to Costco, I love you. Welcome to Costco, I love you. Welcome to Costco, I love you. Welcome to Costco, I love you.

  • Officer Collins: [addressing military brass] You see, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.

  • Doctor: [laughs] Right, kick ass. Well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothin', but, ah... it says on your chart that you're fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded. What I'd do, is just like... like... you know, like, you know what I mean, like..

  • Narrator: Modern speech had degrated down to a mixture of slang, hillbilly, and grunts.

  • Pvt. Joe Bauers: ... And there was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn't just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!

  • Frito: Go away! 'Batin'!

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