Idiots

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ruben r 3h Idiots is one of those movies where I walked out knowing I didn't hate it, but still wondering what the hell I had just watched. The best way I can describe it is a rollercoaster of nothingness. A lot happens. Almost nothing happens. Both statements are true. The movie keeps climbing, dropping, turning and introducing increasingly ridiculous people and situations, but for all that movement I rarely felt actual excitement. It has all the ingredients of a wild ride without much of the adrenaline. Cheap thrills without the thrill. It starts with Davis, played by O'Shea Jackson Jr., getting fired from his church job after taking a group of kids to see Lars von Trier's Antichrist. He sees “Christ” in the title and somehow assumes he's taking these children to something religiously educational. That decision tells us pretty quickly what kind of people we're dealing with. Then there's Mark, played by Dave Franco, a slacker who also loses his job before visiting his drug dealer D.D. and picking up, among other things, a bottle of liquid marijuana. Mark has another gig working for a transportation service run by Ms. Dorindo, and Davis gets paired with him to transport a wealthy troubled teenager named Sheridan to rehab. Davis was supposed to provide the church van, but considering he just got fired, that's obviously not happening. So they're stuck making the trip in Mark's little red car. They arrive at Sheridan's family's estate, Sheridan immediately tries to run away, and Mark hurts his ankle chasing him. And that's essentially the entire premise: Pick Sheridan up and take him to rehab. Simple. Except Idiots takes the longest, strangest and most crowded possible route between those two points. They get a flat tire. Mark doesn't have a spare. The car has to stay with mechanics overnight, forcing Mark, Davis and Sheridan into a motel. That's where this movie really starts losing its fucking mind. Sheridan notices Mark putting liquid marijuana into his drink and sees the pills Mark has with him. He secretly doses Davis, who goes for a walk and starts tripping without knowing what the hell is happening to him. While Davis is wandering around high, Sheridan convinces Mark to call a stripper. Enter Irina, played by Kiernan Shipka. Sheridan then secretly drugs Mark too, sending him into an absolute gastrointestinal nightmare until he's basically incapacitated. Irina gets ready to leave, Sheridan asks to kiss her neck, and what initially looks like another weird moment suddenly turns nasty. Sheridan bites her hard enough to draw blood, slams her into the wall, steals her money and takes off. Davis eventually makes it back and finds Mark unconscious with Irina there. Police and medics arrive. And Sheridan—the one person they're being paid to deliver safely to rehab—is gone. Irina takes Mark and Davis back to her house because she wants the money Sheridan stole from her. That's where we meet Baba, Irina's pot-smoking, gun-toting elderly grandmother. Now pause for a second. We started with two idiots transporting a teenager to rehab. We've barely gotten anywhere and already accumulated drugs, a motel, a stripper and her armed granny. And we're nowhere near peak stupidity yet. Mark calls Ms. Dorindo and finally learns exactly why Sheridan is going to rehab. He's not simply a rich kid with drug problems or emotional issues. Sheridan previously set a homeless man on fire. His father essentially used money to help bury the consequences. We also learn Sheridan has a sizable social-media following built around him behaving like an asshole. That combination—wealth, cruelty and internet fame—could have been the foundation for a much sharper movie. Instead, it becomes fuel for the next disaster. Mark and Davis notice pictures Sheridan posted with two older guys they had already seen around the motel. That's how they realize Sheridan never actually left. So the next morning Mark, Davis, Irina and Baba all go back to the motel to retrieve him. And this is where Sheridan's bizarre ability to make grown adults do the absolute most over some idiot kid from social media really starts becoming ridiculous. These aren't teenagers. They're older grown men hanging around this kid at a motel. Mark and Irina locate Sheridan by calling Irina's stolen phone and listening for its wolf-howl ringtone. They confront the older guys, knock them out and get Sheridan back. Meanwhile Davis is dealing with Keith, the motel desk clerk, and ends up reluctantly punching him during their escape. Then those older Sheridan superfans actually chase after them. Think about that. We're not even at the main kidnapping yet and grown men are already pursuing people over this asshole teenager they know through his internet following. Eventually Mark, Davis, Irina and Baba get away. Irina recovers only a little more than half her stolen money. Before leaving, she tells Mark something that actually lands: he's more like Sheridan than he'd probably like to admit. Then she and Baba finally exit the immediate disaster. Mark and Davis get the car back. Sheridan is back in their custody. Okay. Now can we please just go to rehab? No. Sheridan starts mocking them, including laughing about the homeless man he burned. Mark grabs Sheridan's phone and discovers that while all this has been happening, Sheridan has been posting online claiming Mark and Davis kidnapped him. He's even posted identifying information about their car. And now the movie takes the grown-adults-following-an-internet-kid insanity to another level. Davis stops to help an older man change a tire. That good deed gets them spotted by the next collection of Sheridan-inspired lunatics: Koko, played by Peter Dinklage. Crystal, played by Najah Bradley. And one of the strangest characters in the entire movie: Pricka Bush Da Werewoof, played by Nicholas Braun. A wannabe rapper obsessed with being a werewolf. Apparently Sheridan's online kidnapping story includes the promise of $5 million for whoever rescues him, and these grown-ass adults believe it. They attack Mark and Davis, take Sheridan and leave Mark and Davis stranded. And this is probably where my brain officially had to go on the shelf. How in the world are this many adults doing this much for some idiot kid from social media? We already had older men hanging around him at the motel and chasing Mark and Davis. Now another group of adults sees something Sheridan posted online and is willing to attack people and stage their own vigilante rescue because they believe this teenager is going to hand them millions. Apparently nobody calls the police. Nobody verifies anything. Nobody wonders whether perhaps the obnoxious internet kid famous for doing horrible shit might be lying. They just go: Five million dollars? Say less. Then comes probably the funniest piece of stupidity in the plot. Koko's crew discovers Sheridan was lying. There is no $5 million reward. So these grown adults realize they've attacked innocent people and “rescued” a teenager from a kidnapping that never happened. At this point, any sane person would dump Sheridan somewhere safe, get the hell out and pray the police never identify them. Instead, they decide: Fuck it. Let's actually kidnap him. So Sheridan's fake kidnapping becomes a real kidnapping, and they contact his wealthy family demanding actual ransom money. That escalation is so stupid that it almost circles back around to being brilliant. Meanwhile Mark and Davis argue. Mark is finally done. He wants to go home. Davis still feels responsible for Sheridan and decides to find him. Davis eventually tracks down the house where Sheridan is being held and sneaks inside. And there, because apparently this movie hadn't squeezed enough out of him yet, we get more Pricka Bush Da Werewoof, including his bizarre werewolf routine while Sheridan looks understandably horrified. Davis manages to get Sheridan loose at gunpoint and nearly gets him out. Then Crystal catches them and knocks Davis out. So now Sheridan is captive again. Davis is captive. Mark has walked away. And then Idiots pulls out one of its biggest coincidences. Mark gets picked up by a woman named Lissy, played by Melanie Loren. Lissy seems like Mark's way out of this nightmare. She offers him a ride and takes him home so he can use her phone. Except her house is— the exact same fucking house where Sheridan and Davis are being held. Lissy is part of this crew. Mark accidentally gets delivered straight back into the disaster he just abandoned. Lissy walks in and discovers Koko and Crystal holding Davis and Sheridan at gunpoint. Does this grown woman finally become the voice of reason? Of course not. Mark tries to intervene and Lissy kicks him in the nuts. At this point Sheridan's orbit has collected everybody. Mark. Davis. Irina. Baba. The old motel superfans. Koko. Crystal. Pricka Bush Da Werewoof. Lissy. And we're still not done with the homeless man. The house finally erupts into chaos. Davis throws something at Koko, causing Koko to accidentally shoot himself in the foot. Mark gets Sheridan moving. Crystal attacks Davis. Davis and Crystal go crashing through a window. Mark, Davis and Sheridan eventually manage to get the car running and escape. And somehow, after this ridiculous journey— they finally reach rehab. The original destination. The entire movie has essentially been one catastrophic attempt to drive a kid from his house to this building. But Idiots still isn't finished. Remember the homeless man Sheridan set on fire? He shows up at the rehab facility with a gun. He wants Sheridan. And for once, something seemingly tossed into the story earlier actually comes back around. The problem is that Sheridan still doesn't absorb the consequence. The man fires. Mark gets shot through the hand and under the eye/face. Mark goes down. Davis stays beside him. Sheridan remains unharmed. The homeless man is arrested. And Sheridan finally walks into rehab, giving Davis one last mischievous grin before they separate. After everything this kid has caused, I'm waiting for some real solution. Some realization. Some meaningful consequence. Something telling me why I just watched this enormous chain reaction. Instead, Mark wakes up recovering in the hospital. The newspapers have turned Mark and Davis into heroes, reporting that they protected Sheridan from the homeless gunman. Davis visits Mark and brings him his mail. Among it is paperwork for disability benefits/checks. After getting drugged, beaten around, dragged through this absurd journey and finally shot because of Sheridan's actions, Mark realizes there might actually be money waiting for him. His reaction is basically perfect: “Fuck yeah.” And then the credits give us one final absurd development: Davis and Irina are now working together transporting people. The same Irina who entered this story as the stripper Mark called to the motel is now Davis's transportation partner. And Pricka Bush Da Werewoof gets his ridiculous music-video payoff during the credits because apparently the movie couldn't send us home without one final howl. Then it's over. And that's where rollercoaster of nothingness really fits for me. Not because nothing literally happened. Jesus Christ, look at everything that happened. A church worker gets fired over Antichrist. A slacker loses his job. A rich psychopath needs transportation to rehab. A flat tire strands them. Sheridan drugs both escorts. A stripper arrives. Sheridan attacks and robs her. Her armed grandmother joins the search. We learn Sheridan burned a homeless man. Two older superfans hide him at the motel and chase after his escorts. Sheridan fakes his kidnapping on social media. Another group of grown adults attacks his escorts for a fake $5 million reward. A werewolf rapper appears. The fake rescue becomes a real kidnapping. Davis attempts a rescue. Lissy randomly picks Mark up and delivers him directly back to the kidnappers' house. Koko shoots himself. Davis and Crystal go through a window. They finally reach rehab. The burned homeless man returns with a gun. Mark gets shot under the eye. Sheridan enters rehab. Mark gets disability paperwork. Davis goes into business with the stripper. A tremendous amount happens. And somehow I finished the movie feeling like almost nothing happened. That's the contradiction. All that escalation never translated into equal excitement or satisfaction for me. And I wasn't sitting there desperately hoping Sheridan would be okay. I wasn't emotionally attached to the mission. I wasn't waiting for some mystery to be solved. I was curious. There's an important difference. I wasn't thinking: “I can't wait to see how this incredible story concludes.” I was thinking: “How the fuck is this shit show possibly going to reach a climax?” And then it reaches one without really providing a solution. Sheridan reaches rehab, sure. But does Sheridan change? Who knows. Does he finally understand the consequences of what he's done? That mischievous grin certainly doesn't give me much confidence. The homeless man Sheridan burned gets arrested after trying to retaliate. Mark—the guy Sheridan's actions repeatedly screwed over—gets shot and is happy about disability money. Davis somehow decides this nightmare has inspired him to continue in the same line of work. And all those ideas the movie brushes against—Sheridan's wealth, privilege, social-media influence, the bizarre devotion of his adult followers, and other people repeatedly suffering consequences for his behavior—never really arrive anywhere. The movie doesn't solve itself. It just stops. That's why I'd give it 3 out of 5. I didn't hate it. There are laughs. The cast commits to the insanity. Some of these characters—especially fucking Pricka Bush Da Werewoof—are impossible to forget. And clearly it kept me watching. But the excitement I should have felt from all that chaos was replaced by curiosity about how much more ridiculous it could become. It's a rollercoaster packed with hills, drops, loops and turns that somehow lets you off exactly where it told you it was going in the first place. Sheridan needed to go to rehab. Sheridan went to rehab. Everything between those two points is an increasingly elaborate parade of idiots. ★★★☆☆ — 3/5 Put your brain on the shelf before boarding. If you start asking too many questions about the ride, you might get off feeling emptier than when you got on. See more Zach B 12h Super funny very early 2000’s chaotic joyride, has some weird moments but overall the whole theater was laughing and having a good time during the tense/comedic moments, loved it! See more Stewart 16h Hilarious. Gross. Awesome road trip comedy. Great cast that work well together on screen. See more philip 1d More depressing than funny See more Kaleb Carter 1d I were the director was going with making a high jinx’s roadtrip film. See more Becca 1d Predictable based on the movie title, but many surprises, tense moments, and a lot of "shaking my head". Do NOT make a sequel PLEASE! See more Read all reviews

Idiots

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