Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter Reviews

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September 22, 2017
Even though this was made in 2001 it had a very throwback 70's grindhouse feel to it which was promising at first, but then it became your typical super low budget cheesy horror. It's a bit confusing, it starts off with the bearded version Jesus everyone knows and then turns into one that looks like a 90's alt rock drummer which looked like a completely different actor.. huh. For some reason there's a Mexican luchador thrown into the mix and it's entirely made in Canada. Go figure. Good thing there's only one more of these super cheesy cornball movies to go.
Cheese factor: 9/10 Pain factor: 8/10
Best moment: The cool retro soundtrack in this was actually pretty awesome, not gonna lie.
½ April 16, 2017
So awesomely BAD!!!!!! It's a giggle fest.
½ December 30, 2015
If you like that kind of campy humor and are able not to take religions too seriously, this B-movie might be worth watching. With hilarious action scenes, funny puns, cheesy one-liners, I would reccomend this one for a nice and funny evening with friends and a few cold beers.
April 7, 2015
Low budget B-movie that is deliberately bad at the end of a decade that saw a huge amount of straight to video schlock in which anyone with a video camera could and did make a "movie." This lampoons that entire process complete with bad overdubbing, terrible fighting and action scenes that will lampoon Hollywood action films, and cheesy jokes that outrun their usefulness. Yet it still manages to entertain on a most basic level, at least for myself. Growing up in the 90s was a unique experience and this pretty much encapsulates all that was right and wrong about the straight-to-video shitfest that accrued. This probably would have been a GREAT movie had someone like Takashi Miike had directed it, but with the budget presented here all involved did a good enough job.
½ March 17, 2015
I thought this would be a fun little flick. I was terribly wrong.
January 26, 2014
Wow what a film I got to say so good oh wait I thought it was a crappy movie one of the bad ones for sure but I had to shake my head saying I'm actually still watching this
November 1, 2013
I can't believe this exists, but I'm kinda glad it does...
½ October 21, 2013
I love this film of great cheese plus its filmed in my home town Ottawa Ontario Canada
September 8, 2013
One of the best movies I've ever seen. For a movie with such a low budget and no well known actors, it got more laughs from me than most big budget blockbusters. It's ridiculous and at times bad in all the right ways. Grab a group of friends and have a fun time.
½ August 12, 2013
This movie has all I ever wanted to watch in a movie: action, fights, more action, more fights, a deep and intriguing plot, El Santo, and let's not forget the fight action. Of course, to fully understand the profound message of this movie you need half a bottle of vodka, but, Jesus, he's a bad motherfucker here.
February 24, 2013
Jesus was the first Slayer of the AD!
½ January 31, 2013
The Second Coming is upon us! Jesus Christ has returned to save the lesbians of Ottawa from an evil vampire cult using his powerful kung fu punch in JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER! This cult-classic from Canada mixes martial arts action with outrageous religious humor and all the cheese one could ever hope for in a bad B-movie of its kind. After kicking off to a great start, the novelty of the film quickly wears off due to the disastrous pacing, especially during the agonizing music numbers and extended fight scenes that continue on way past their welcome. Lee Demarbre and Ian Driscoll bring some inspired moments to the script and screen that produce genuine laughs, but the film is so deeply rooted in its cult aesthetic that it looses touch with outside audiences and becomes just as tedious to watch as many of the films it lampoons. There is always the simple pleasure of watching Jesus Christ impale one lesbian vampire after another in between flying dragon kicks, however. The cult crowds cannot afford to miss this crazy kung fu comedy, so let the power of Christ impale you!
December 20, 2012
Fantastic title! I HAVE to see this!
December 7, 2012
Would like to see at some stage.
½ November 27, 2012
Low budget trash, but really inventive low budget trash.
Super Reviewer
½ November 19, 2012
With a title like Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter you would at least expect the movie to be somewhat entertaining, right? Wrong! Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is low budget film-making at its worst without any appeal.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter plot is self explained in the title; which is all the explanation you will ever get. For starter, the film biggest problem is that the movie won't shut up! There is rarely a moment of silence in the film and the movie soundtrack is terrible. There is literally a song in this movie that literally just repeats "Do-Dat-Do-Dat-Doodliy-Dee-Be-Boo-Bop" for three minutes. The film has no plot to speak off. Scenes go nowhere and the rare minimal dialogue does nothing to explain what is going on. The writing here is just utter nonsense with no rhythm and a absence of continuity. Why did Jesus Christ have a pointless musical number revealing his presence on Earth? Why did God communicate with Jesus via cherry ice-scream? What is famous Mexican wrestler El Santo doing in this movie? Why does El Santo have no accent? How did Jesus Christ kill vampires with light even though the movie establish these vampire are immune to light? I have no answers to any of the following questions and neither does the movie for that matter. It's utter nonsense in a form of a very stupid movie that will even have the truest of believer doubting its existence.

My major problem with the film, aside from no plot and a terrible soundtrack, is everything else. The fight scenes are poorly choreographed and are very, very, very, very slow. It takes these actors around eight seconds to punch someone and another eight or twenty to decide to hit back. One of the most ridiculous scene in the movie has Jesus Christ beating up around forty aesthesis who all just so happen to fit in a small van. The acting is....non existent. No one even puts an effort in their role let alone even change their facial expression. Also to all film makers everywhere, no one wants to see man who's dress like a woman, in lingerie, flirting and kissing Jesus Christ goodnight with horror music playing in the scene. Yes everything is done poorly intentionally, but it works against the film itself. It has no charm to it and just comes out a lazy film making without any passion in it. The only redeeming quality about this movie is that it's short, but it'll likely feel like an eternity due to the lack of enjoyment this provides.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is pointless, lacks dialogue for 90 percent of it duration, contains a terrible soundtrack that rarely stops, and a lack of enjoyment for the viewer. We might not be able to prove Jesus Christ existence, but we could at least pretend the low budget abomination that is Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is non-existence.
October 6, 2012
I've been told I must watch this, and feel it's true.
September 11, 2012
This is horrible and funny at the same time...
½ June 23, 2012
The title works, but the movie itself disappoints. If you like this sort of thing... you won't like this.
½ June 5, 2012
For those who love really cheap n crazy films. This was the cheapest looking film I've ever (partially) seen. Didn't quite make the 'so bad, it's good' category for me, it's actually 'so bad, it's bloody awful'
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