John Dies at the End - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

John Dies at the End Quotes

  • Roger North: Do the bees know that they make the honey for you? Or do their work tirelessly because they think it is their own choice?


  • John: We were chosen by the soy sauce.


  • Sergeant McElroy: I think stuff is very real and not real at the same time.


  • Dave: You've obviously been blessed with supernatural gifts. What better way to use them than to fish for free beer at parties?


  • Dave: Who would have thought my friend John would help bring about the end of the world?


  • Dave: What do you think it's like Father?... Being crazy, mentally ill?
    Dave: What do you think it's like Father? Being crazy, mentally ill?
    Father Shellnut: Well, they never know they're ill do they? I mean, you can't diagnose yourself with the same organ that has the disease, just like you can't see your own eyeball.


  • Woman with Officer: Where are you? Heaven?
    Dave: Where are you? Heaven?
    John: When you hear a song on the radio, where is the song?


  • Robert Marley: In your dream, the explosion became the thunder. But the dream started 30 seconds before the thunder hit. How did your mind know that the thunder was coming?


  • Dave: John and I are having a bit of a problem here. We're both seeing completely different versions of you. Now John here has eye sight problems because of his constant masturbation.


  • Dave: Did you ever shit yourself Arnie?


  • John: That door can NOT be opened
    John: That door cannot be opened.


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