Juno Quotes

  • Su-Chin: Your baby probably has fingernails!
    Juno MacGuff: Fingernails?


  • Juno MacGuff: Despite the fact that I'm in a fatsuit that I can't take off..


  • Mac MacGuff: I didn't think he had it in him.
    Leah: I know right?


  • Mac MacGuff: "I didn't think he had it in him"
    Leah: "I know right?"


  • Juno MacGuff: I'm just like losing my faith with humanity.


  • Juno MacGuff: I need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever.


  • Juno MacGuff: I don't know what kind of girl I am.


  • Juno MacGuff: I am a retarded teenager with really bad dialogue who wants to annoy people.


  • Juno MacGuff: As far as boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni. And, I know that people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but... I guess normalcy isn't really our style.


  • Mac MacGuff: Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.


  • Juno MacGuff: When I see them all running like that, with their things bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked, even if I don't want to. All i see is pork swords
    Juno MacGuff: When I see them all running like that, with their things bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked, even if I don't want to. All I see is pork swords.


  • Juno MacGuff: HI, I'm calling for a hasty abortion?
    Juno MacGuff: Hi, I'm calling for a hasty abortion?


  • Juno MacGuff: Shut your gob, Banana!


  • Leah: All right, how about this one? 'Healthy, educated couple seeking infant to join our family of five. You will be compensated. Help us complete the circle of love.'
    Juno MacGuff: Yeesh, they sound like a cult, is what the sound like! And besides they already have three kids. They're just like greedy little bitches!


  • Paulie Bleeker: I still have your underwear.
    Juno MacGuff: I still have your virginity.


  • Juno MacGuff: You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.


  • Vanessa Loring: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
    Juno MacGuff: Nah ... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kinds of shenanigans could I get into?
    Juno MacGuff: Nah I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kinds of shenanigans could I get into?


  • Juno MacGuff: Whoa, dream big!


  • Mac MacGuff: Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.


  • Juno MacGuff: Oh well I could sell you some of my Adderall if you want.
    Su-Chin: No thanks I'm off pills.
    Juno MacGuff: That's a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, "Blah! I am a Kracken from the sea!"
    Juno MacGuff: That's a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, 'Blah! I am a Kracken from the sea!'
    Su-Chin: I heard that was you.


  • Juno MacGuff: Silencio old man! Look, I just drank my weight in Sunny-D and I gotta go pronto!


  • Juno MacGuff: As far as boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni. And, I know that people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but... I guess normalcy isn't really our style.


  • Juno MacGuff: As far as boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni. And, I know that people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but... I guess normalcy isn't really our style.


  • Paulie Bleeker: Wizard.
    Paulie Bleeker: [exhales] Wizard.


  • Su-Chin: All babies want to be borned!
    Su-Chin: [protesting in front of the abortion clinic] All babies want to get borned!


  • Rendazo Steve: Don't forget to pay for that peestick. It's not yours because you marked it with your urine!


  • Juno MacGuff: THUNDERCATS ARE GO!


  • Juno MacGuff: You're one of the coolest people I've ever met and you don't even have to try.
    Juno MacGuff: 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know.
    Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.


  • Rendazo Steve: That's one doodle that can't be undid home skillet.
    Rendazo Steve: This is one doodle that can't be un-did, Homeskillet.


  • Gerta Rauss: "So Juno, how far along are you?"
    Gerta Rauss: So Juno, how far along are you?
    Juno MacGuff: "I'm a Junior."
    Juno MacGuff: I'm a Junior.
    Gerta Rauss: "I mean in your pregnancy."
    Gerta Rauss: I mean, in your pregnancy.


  • Juno MacGuff: "You should go to China. I heard they give away babies there like free i-pods."
    Juno MacGuff: You should've gone to China, you know, ' cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods.


  • Su-Chin: All babies want to get borned.


  • Paulie Bleeker: My mom uses color safe bleach.


  • Paulie Bleeker: My mom uses color safe bleach.


  • Juno MacGuff: You could totally go out with Katrina De Voort.
    Paulie Bleeker: No, I don't like Katrina. She smells like soup. Have you ever smelled her? I mean, her whole house smells like soup.


  • Juno MacGuff: He is the cheese to my macaroni. And, I know that people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but... I guess normalcy isn't really our style
    Juno MacGuff: He is the cheese to my macaroni. And, I know that people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but, I guess normalcy isn't really our style.


  • Juno MacGuff: "I never realized how much I loved being home unless I'd been somewhere really different for awhile."


  • Juno MacGuff: Yeah, I'm a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.


  • Juno MacGuff: You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.


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